


The Faint and the Faking

by missanomalous



Category: Victorious
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2014-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-08 06:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 43,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missanomalous/pseuds/missanomalous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tori is a child star who seeks out a semi-normal life at a prestigious boarding school, where she meets her new roommate, Jade.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

The campus, surprisingly, looks exactly like the brochures and website. Tori’s walking through with her mother and father, her sister having only having time to drop them at the office before she insisted she had to meet her “model” friends. The oval is surrounded by colonial buildings, ivy crawling up and down the stone walls, but inside the old buildings everything is modern and colorful, with TV screens, artwork, posters and unique looking trophies on display. The office they’re currently sitting in is themed, not quite fitting in with either the ultra modern inside or the rigid exterior. It’s Victorian, romantic and serene. Tori likes this room.

 

“Hello!” Comes the high-pitched voice from a woman exiting the principal’s office, a mousey-haired brown haired woman following quietly behind. “Mr. and Mrs. Vega, it’s so lovely to see you again.”

 

“Helen, we’re so glad you could make the time. And the exception to let Tori in mid-semester.” Her father hates wearing a suit; she can see him tugging at the stiff collar of his shirt when he thinks nobody is looking. Whenever he’s at work at the studio, he’s always dressed down. He’s one of the few producers who declines invitations to parties simply based on the fact that he’d have to bust out a tie.

 

“Well, it’s not every day that we get a television star coming to study, they’re usually heading out,” she adds like it’s a hilarious joke, but her track record is proven. More successful people than Tori can name have left this school (they named them all on the website), though she can only remember a handful of even semi-known actors.

 

“I’m really looking forward to my time here,” Tori answers automatically, shifting in her jeans. Despite the fact that it’s an art school, there is a dress code at the boarding school and she can’t help but feel left out as she sees people pass in Hollywood Arts Academy school gear. Though the rule seems lax – a girl walks by with blue hair, her assigned white blouse dyed purple under her dark gray cardigan, also specialized with patches sewn on all over in a seemingly random order.

 

“Well, we’re going to take you to your room and then show you around the campus.”

 

“When do I get my uniform?” Tori blurts as she shifts the duffel bag weighing on her shoulder. Her dad has her suitcase and her mom is holding a box of her things and bag with a new bed set. She doesn’t want to make any more of a spectacle of herself than she already is.

 

“It’s already in your room,” Helen answers pleasantly, leading her out of the room and back out to the oval. “Now, all the buildings are connected except for a few of the buildings out back which are mostly for musicians to practice in uninterrupted. You sing, right? I remember the Christmas episode of _Trigger_ , you had a lovely voice.”

 

“Yeah, I’m signed up for a few of the singing and music courses. I’m trying to focus on my acting though.” She can feel people staring at her as she walks through the throngs of students with her parents.

 

“Hm, I doubt you’d hear many other SAG winners say that.”

 

“It was the whole cast who won, not me.”

 

The dorms have hallways painted with murals from previous classes, wall tiles decorated by graduating classes. She’s on the third floor with the rest of the juniors. Though the school was going to allow her to move in with her sister, Trina was unwilling to give up her room on the top floor and slum it. Tori was secretly very thankful.

 

Helen unlocks the door at the end of the hall with a little card key and pushes through just as a weird bell echoes throughout the campus. “Now, since you two have a corner room, you have a little more space.”

 

There’s a door to her left that’s cracked, showing her that the bathroom is in there, and right after the room is a small alcove with a vanity and sink set up - half the counter set up already with different kinds of make up and toiletries. With its headboard set up against the small space between the wall and the window at the far end of the room is her roommate’s bed, already made with a dark violet bedspread with swirls of shiny black to match the sheets and pillows.

 

On her wall, her roommate has a small shelf set up over a dresser, both with a bunch of weird knick knacks littering them – a plastic container holding a pair of scissors displayed on satin, weird sculptures, one being a small brain. There were also books and movies, but Tori didn’t see any pictures around, save for movie posters hung up. But her nightstand only had a lamp and a dock for her phone, and the desk next to it looked out the large window, but only had textbooks on its top.

 

Tori has the same set up on her side of the room, in a different order. She is relieved to drop her bag on her mattress, and Tori quickly follows, rubbing her shoulders.

 

“So,” Helen remarks as she watches Tori’s parents drop the things they held, “your roommate is a bit… eclectic, but she’s a very accomplished student. She does well in a variety of classes.”

 

“What does she do?” Tori asks as her mother pushes her off the bed so she can start putting the sheets on it.

 

“Oh, a little bit of everything. Acting, singing, writing, directing. Don’t let it overwhelm you, many of our students really hit their stride here and end up excelling in many things before they leave.” Helen walks to the window when Tori finds herself taking a closer look at the model brain. “Outside of our art programs we have a variety of clubs and extracurricular, from regular sports to ribbon twirling.”

 

“Between you and me,” a voice from the doorway startles them all and Tori whips around to face the intruder, her hands flying behind her back. She’s tall, a little taller than Tori but not by much without the boots, she thinks. Her hair is dark but teamed with a teal streak the same color of her eyes, which are heavy with mascara and eyeliner. She’s incredibly intimidating. And pretty. “The ribbon twirling team is something to be avoided.”

 

“Jade! This is your roommate Tori Vega. I’m sure you already know who she is.” Tori flushes but Helen and her parents seem to take no mind.

 

“Big fan,” Jade remarks with an amused smirk as she breezes past all of them to drop her books on her desk.

 

“We were just about to show Tori around the campus, why don’t you join us?”

 

“As fun as that sounds I’ve got some big stuff going on here. Big stuff.” Jade doesn’t look at them again as she moves about the room, ridding herself of her dark gray cardigan and smoothing out her hair in front of the vanity.

 

The tour is weird. Well, the school is weird and the tour just matches it. Helen shows her to her classes first, leading them through the buildings swiftly, her assistant hot on her tail. Tori and her family manage to barely keep up and before long her parents are dropping her back off at her dorm.

 

“Call us anytime, honey.” Her mother squeezes her, blind to the few people passing them by with raised eyebrows as they try to place Tori’s face in their minds.

 

“And remember, you have people lining up to work with you, you can come home any time.” Her father hates that she’s taking a break, he thinks she has to strike while she’s still known by the show’s fans.

 

“I remember. I’ll call you Friday.”

 

She’s left alone in the hall, and once again when she enters her room. Jade has disappeared; leaving little trace that she was even in the room. Tori wonders if she’s super neat or if this was just in preparation for her new roommate. Either way she’s somewhat grateful to not be placed with a slob. Or her sister. She takes her time unpacking her things and setting up pictures and things on her side of the room. Tori didn’t bring any of her awards with her, the few she has. She didn’t bring much from her former job except a cast picture that she puts slightly out of sight on the top shelf and a crystal figurine of the Eiffel Tower that had been in the set of her room for the run of the show and involved with a storyline in the sixth and final season of _Trigger_. Her clothes are unpacked and her different sets of her uniform placed in their own drawer.

 

Tori tries them on, incredibly relieved that everything seems to fit. She has to go down and get shoes to match the uniform, but not everyone seems to so she tries to find a pair that she already has to go with the outfit. Converses seem as good as any. They have given her shirts and extra cardigans, stockings and a jacket, as well as two different ties should she choose to wear them, one black with thin red and white stripes or one red with black and whites stripes. She has to hand it to the school on their ability to provide a varied wardrobe that few seem to follow anyway.

 

She’s looking through the notes they gave her on her classes when Jade returns, the electronic lock on the door much like a hotel, whirring and clicking to announce her return before she even walks through the door.

 

“Hey,” Tori starts, dressed in brand new Hollywood Arts sweatpants she just bought and plain white shirt. “We didn’t really get to meet before.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure I can learn all I need to know about you from your Wikipedia page,” Jade drawls as she saunters across the room without a glance in Tori’s direction. She sits at the end of her mattress and unlaces her boots, tossing them in the space between her bed and her dresser.

 

“Anyone can edit that. It says my favorite color is red. Only the first in a series of lies.” Tori immediately feels like her awkward humor isn’t going to cut it with the rigid girl who has moved on to rolling her head back and forth, chin resting on her chest and hair hiding her face. “I’m Tori.”

 

“And I’m Jade, which we established about five hours ago, if you recall.”

 

“It’s just… everyone calls me Victoria because that’s what my credits were.”

 

“How unfortunate to have to hide being the queen.”

 

“What?”

 

“Your name.” Jade lazily lifts her head, squinting at Tori as she establishes their first eye contact of the day. “It’s latin for ‘victory’, the name of a Roman goddess, and not to mention several princesses and queens in the royal courts. Queen Victoria ruled in the late eighteen-hundreds, and had ton of kids. She reigned in what was known as the ‘Victorian era’ as the longest ruling female monarch. Unless Lizzie beats her out. I wouldn’t put it past her, she seems like a tough broad.”

 

“Wow.” Tori tries to keep herself calm under the constant gaze from the other girl, but she manages to at least maintain eye contact. “This must be a really good school.”

 

Jade makes a face, something that wasn’t quite a smile but an amused look on her red lips. “I like it. What is your favorite color?”

 

“Orange.”

 

The raven-haired girl silently stands up and heads to the vanity, opening a package to retrieve a makeup remover wipe. “That suits you,” she breathes as she rids her eyes from the mascara and eyeliner.

 

“Does it? Good. What’s yours?”

 

“A shiny penny if you can guess.” Jade pivots to face her, leaning back against the counter after opening the cupboard to toss the wipe out in the garbage can hidden inside.

 

“Black.”

 

“I don’t carry money.” Tori laughs and relaxes back against her headboard, but she feel Jade looking at her again. "What’s your schedule like?”

 

“Uh… I have Music A20, Physics, P. E., Improv B20, Lunch, English A20, a spare I have to fill, and then History of Film A.” Tori tosses her schedule back on the binder she had placed on the floor at the foot of her bed and settles back against her headboard.

 

“You should sign up for Drama A20 in your spare,” Jade chimes after a moment. “It’s a good class.”

 

“Are you in it?”

 

“I am.”

 

“That sounds good,” Tori says honestly. “It’ll be nice to know someone in something at least. Every other class choice was based on the fact that my sister isn’t in any of the junior levels for an easy credit.”

 

“Trina Vega.” Jade nods and pushes off from the counter to walk to her dresser. Tori’s gaze immediately drops when she hears drawers being opened.

 

“So you know of her.”

 

“Unfortunately. What did you do to make her that way?”

 

Tori laughs as she hears the sound of a bra being undone and tossed in a small hamper. “No one quite knows what’s wrong with her. I think my mother drank while she was pregnant. I sure hope she did anyway, it would explain so much.”

 

Jade appears on the end of her bed, dressed in long, form fitting sweatpants and a loose t-shirt with Jim Morrison on the front, shirtless and laying on the stage with the mic in his hands as he sang. There were lyrics on the back, but Tori couldn’t make them out without her glasses. Which she was avoiding wearing for whatever stupid reason.

 

“I shower first, just so you know. But I get up pretty early, so hopefully it won’t throw your routine off too much. I also stay up late, so if my light bothers you tough luck.”

 

“I can sleep through anything, don’t worry,” Tori assures her, laughing at her statements that are said like a lazy command.

 

“Good for you, sport. I have a paper to write now, so don’t bother me until tomorrow morning.” She stands from the bed and heads over to her own, her dark hair swishing behind her.

 

“Will you wake me up after you shower? I wouldn’t mind getting an early start.”

 

“Sure, sure. Goodnight, Victoria.”

 

* * *

 

Tori wakes up after Jade shakes her shoulder violently for fifteen seconds (ten of those being after Tori already opens her eyes). She doesn’t say much, just turns away, plugs in her hair dryer, and grabs a round brush, her navy towel clashing with her pale skin. Tori stumbles to the shower and by the time she steps back into the room, Jade is already dressed, make up and hair done, twirling a pen between her fingers as she read some article on the internet.

 

Tori hurries her way through her routine, not dressing until she was sure that her hair was dry enough and Jade was still glued to the laptop.

 

“Any time today, Vega.”

 

“It’s so early, what are you talking about?” Tori mumbles in reply, her fingers fumbling with the buttons on her shirt.

 

“There’s coffee to be had.”

 

“Are you waiting for me?” Tori blurts out, suddenly aware of Jade’s demands.

 

“Was there something not obvious about that?” Jade fires back. “We have Music in a half an hour so hurry up, starlet.”

 

Jade shows her an easier way to get to their class than Helen did, though it does require them to cut through the oval in the cool morning air. Jade’s quiet, everything about her in place – her tie neat, shirt tucked in under her cardigan, stockings and all. Only her boots, piercings and streaks seem to set her apart from Tori’s own uniform, but Jade seems to hold herself in a way that made her seem more important than everyone around them. A commanding stare and a set jaw as she waited in line at the small coffee vendor followed by her hurrying into one of the music buildings back entrances and beginning to slowly walk up the stairs.

 

“Considering the things people get away with, I’m surprised you don’t do more to alter your uniform,” Tori comments on the first flight, binder and coffee tight to her chest and one hand on the rail.

 

“I don’t mind the regular clothes, to be honest. I do like the school’s spirit of dysfunctional unity with their dress code policy though. But the shoes are disgusting.” On the fourth floor, Jade suddenly tugs Tori into the hallway, walking briskly through the semi-lit halls. It was quiet, only a few teachers setting up – tuning guitars and putting together their lessons. No one paid any attention to the two students fast-walking through the hall. Jade pulls them to a stop in front a door marked the janitor’s closet and turns the knob, her hand finally dropping Tori’s wrist.

 

“What are you doing?” Tori asks slowly, following Jade in nonetheless.

 

“Shh. It’s a secret.” Jade closes the door behind them and walks over to the ladder built in that didn’t seem to ever end as far as Tori could see. She watches in bewilderment as Jade sets her binder and coffee down so she could begin to untuck her blouse from her skirt.

 

“Okay, really, what are you doing?”

 

“We’re going up on the great glass elevator… ladder. I don’t like to leave my binder behind and climbing with a coffee in your hand is hard as it is.” She proceeds to slide her binder under her shirt and tuck it back in overtop.  With an impatient wave of her hand, she bade Tori to follow suit.

 

When Tori has, Jade begins climbing. Tori waits a full half-minute before following.

 

“I thought you were never going to come.”

 

“My dad always said to depend on the kindness of strangers leading you up dark ladders,” Tori mumbles, but the small space makes her voice boom.

 

“It’ll be worth it. Didn’t you do your own stunts? Repetitive tasks must be a cinch for you. Hopefully that’s true because we have to go past a whole floor and then some.” Jade’s quiet for awhile and the only sound Tori hears is the whirring of the heaters and the clinking of their shoes and rings against the metal steps. The ladder is at least accommodated for people to climb, flat steps that are easy on the hands (even those filled with cups) and wide enough for the feet, a safety rail on either side, and even the occasional dim light. Tori doesn’t look up though, not even when she hears Jade stop and a rusty door opening.

 

“Come on out, Ms. Vega. Your audience awaits.”

 

Tori squints at the bright daylight, stumbling as she steps up onto the flat, gravel roof. Her binder slips out from her shirt as Jade quietly closes the door again, dusting her hands off as she stands. She quirks her head and steps closely around a large heating unit. Tori can make out people on the oval hurrying to class, the bell having rung minutes ago.

 

“Come on.” And again Jade is leading her through a maze of utility shacks and heating ducts to a spot set up against a bunch of cardboard boxes, set up so the people on the oval wouldn’t see them while they were free to watch. “You’re lucky, I washed the blanket just last week.”

 

The blanket in question is a large fleece blanket folded up a few times and seems to be relatively clean. “So is this a well known fact or…”

 

“Consider it the perks to being a star,” Jade says as she fixes her shirt and drops down on the blanket.

 

“This is really cool, but can you lay off that? I came here to not be a star.”

 

Jade eyes her as she settles in next to her, their breaths coming out in visible puffs. “Was it really so horrible? Literally every kid here would kill to be in your position.”

 

“Well, they can have it. I like working, but the way they split the seasons up, they had us filming half the year and doing press the rest of it. That and the wonders of tutors on set have left me yearning for at least a semi-substantial education.”

 

“Semi-substantial is right,” Jade laughs as she takes a sip of her still warm beverage. “People come here so they can grow up and maybe get your job or your connections. I love it, but this is just gonna put you back in the mix afterwards. If you’re lucky.”

 

“I want to go back. But a break would be nice. And regular high school did not work out.”

 

Jade leans back against the cardboard. “You’re awfully upfront with people you’ve known for less than a day.”

 

“Sorry.” Tori gives an embarrassed laugh and opens her binder, pulling out one of the neatly sharpened pencils she had prepared so she could doodle on a plain white piece of paper. “You’re a surprisingly good listener.”

 

“Surprisingly? You don’t know a thing about me.”

 

“Shit, sorry, I meant, like, you just seem so… above everything else. Not in a bad way. Which sounds impossible, but I do mean it in a good way. Why else would you bring me up here?”

 

Jade sits quietly staring out at the oval for awhile, tapping her black tipped nails against her own binder. “My best friend recently started dating my ex. I needed a break from that. I was kind of relieved when they said I’d finally be getting a roommate.”

 

“How did you get a single anyway? I couldn’t even get one and we bribed them.”

 

Jade smirks and leans over, whispering, “Over the past few years some of my roommates have found me to be… kind of intimidating.”

 

“I can’t imagine,” Tori laughs. “So your best friend and your ex? Unbearable or what?”

 

“They’re not really. And we haven’t dated in a long time. But it’s just weird because we’re all friends. I guess you’ll meet them eventually. Or in Improv. It’s the best class of the day, by the way. The teacher is… something else.”

 

They spend the next hour on the roof and then climb back down, leaving their coffee cups in one of the many boxes already filled with them. Tori learns exactly five things about Jade in her time with the other girl: she wants to be a screenwriter, her parents are split up, she hates teeth grinders and was glad to hear last night that Tori wasn’t one, she only skips enough classes so as not to arouse suspicion, and she genuinely liked The Hunger Games, albeit for different reasons than Tori did.

 

It’s still not easy for Tori to be around Jade, she finds herself taking a breath of relief as the other girl drops her off at her Physics class. She wonders how long it will take for her to be able to be comfortable around Jade. Her class is easy and she finds herself sitting next to a cute blonde girl who flirts with her the entire time, all without mentioning the show once. Tori doesn’t mind this particular attention.

 

She finds herself face-to-face with a smirking Jade in front of the locker rooms, a short girl with hair the color of candy apples leaning on the wall next to her.

 

“You could have told me you had more classes with me.”

 

“You never asked. Tori this is Cat.”

 

“Hey, hey!” Cat exclaims excitedly as she tugs on Tori’s arm. “I loved your show so, so, so much, you were so great and the dress you wore to the Emmys this year was crazy beautiful.”

 

“Yeah, nice and subtle, Cat,” Jade sighs as she pulls the redhead off Tori and through the door to the locker room. “What’s your number, Tori? Three something?”

 

“Three-oh-seven,” Tori reads from the post-it in her binder. Jade leads her to it and in pure Vanna White style shows Tori her locker before walking off to hers and Cat’s. Tori finds the school gym clothes she and her parents had put in there the day before, along with deodorant, body spray, and a red Hollywood Arts towel.

 

Despite knowing that anyone in the room that had seen the show will have seen most of her body by now, Tori still feels as self-conscious as she had on set filming those scenes as she changes. She only calms down by the time her hair is up in a ponytail and her laces are tied. She meets with Jade and Cat and walks out to the pitch with them, the latter chattering constantly as they huddle together on the cold October morning.

 

“Have you ever played field hockey?” Jade asks after Tori introduces herself to the teacher, her own hair up and tucked back with a hairband.

 

“Never. I played basketball on the show. They wanted an excuse for more shower and locker room scenes.”  She holds the weird stick and spins it in her hand. “I played soccer when I was younger. I take it that it’s nothing like that.”

 

“Not really. It’s… hockey… on a field. I don’t know how to describe it, really. They’ll probably put you in goal, that’s the same in every sport.”

 

As Jade predicts, Tori is given a set of goalie equipment and a yellow bib. Cat gets one as well, and even though Jade remains without one, she stays behind to help them get the equipment on Tori.

 

“What are the chances people are gonna wanna beam me just because I was on a show?”

 

“Probably pretty good,” Jade winks and smacks her on top of the helmet before running off to be with her teammates.

 

Cat ends up as a defender and as the goals are set up she talks a lot, which Tori is somewhat grateful for a time because she only requires a yes or no answer to her questions. They’re random, and evolve into ranging from what it was like to kiss the guy who played her piano tutor to what the food was like backstage. As much as she likes Cat, Tori is happy to hear the whistle.

 

The game is simple enough to understand and extremely painful. She collides with fives girls by the end of match and gets about a dozen sharp shots to the padding on her chest and shins. Tori does manage to catch a few goals, enough that they barely win due to their great offense, but she notes that the sharp attacker scoring all the points on her is Jade, who smirks triumphantly every time.

 

Tori finds herself limply walking from the equipment shed, Jade and Cat waiting for her on the bleachers.

 

“Sore, Victoria?”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Hey, I didn’t hit you once. I just scored on you a lot.” Jade removes her hair from her ponytail, her headband already hanging around her neck.

 

* * *

 

The rest of her day goes by more easily, with Improv taking the cake. The teacher is just as Jade describes and Tori gets to meet her friends. Beck, the cute boy who maybe could have used a haircut, André the music lover who easily warms to Tori, and Robbie, who was nervous and actually walked around with a puppet on his arm. Tori likes Robbie more than the puppet.

 

They had lunch together on an outside patio coming off the cafeteria, on stone benches that seems to be older than the constitution. Tori sat next to Jade, who was more biting and loud around her friends, but mostly talked with André, who insisted that she better not miss Music the next morning so he could do a project with her. Apparently he had seen a YouTube clip of her singing some songs with her former boyfriend’s band.

 

Tori takes special note of Cat and Beck who were huddled together in the corner, Beck laughing at each of Cat’s weird anecdotes. Jade didn’t seem to pay any particular attention but she does use Tori to block the two from her view.

 

Her first night of homework is particularly brutal, mostly because she has to look through the textbook to reference every other word in the questions on her sheet.

 

“Just use the internet like a normal human,” Jade intones from her set up on her bed, sitting in the middle of her mattress with her back to the wall, pillows set up behind her.

 

“I actually want to catch up, not just get the questions right.”

 

Jade sighs loudly behind her and Tori hears her laptop being set down. In a second Jade is leaning over her shoulder, hair and neck heady with different scents. She reads the question quickly.

 

“The first motion picture showed at the White House was a film about the KKK, depicting them as heroes against African-American men who were white actors in blackface. Next.”

 

“Who was the president?”

 

Jade’s eyebrows furrow. “Damn.”

 

“See, this wondrous book will tell me the answer. After thirty pages of reading.” Tori turns her head a little to look over at Jade who smirks in reply. “Okay, you win. She never even said when this was due.”

 

“Miss Francon gives precisely one assignment a week, all due the following Monday. You’re fine.” Jade stands then and returns to her bed.

 

Tori pivots in her chair to follow her with her eyes. “What are you watching on there?”

 

“Porn,” Jade drawls as she readjusts what looks to be like very expensive headphones.

 

“The good stuff?” Tori shouts but Jade just raises her hand and makes a twirling motion with her index finger until Tori turns around. Jade is straightforward if nothing else.

 

The next time anyone speaks, it’s ten o’clock and Jade and Tori are in mirrored positions with their laptops as they sit back against the headboard. Tori looks up when she sees Jade finally take off her headphones.

 

“You were a cute kid,” she comments casually, closing her laptop and stretching across her nightstand to place her laptop on her desk.

 

Tori gives a small laugh, a surprised smile on her face. “You were watching my show.”

 

“Just finished season one,” Jade admits as she settles back on her bed, a notebook pulled from her binder at her side. She opens it and begins writing.

 

“So what did you think?”

 

“Very strong first season.”

 

“Good. I’m glad you think so.”

 

“Are you?” Jade’s eyes are back on her and Tori feels herself being scrutinized. She didn’t get Jade.

 

“Well, I like the idea of my roommate not hating me for what I did.”

 

“I never said that.”

 

Tori stares blankly at her. “You hate me.”

 

“I’m incredibly resentful of the choice you made when you came here. But that doesn’t mean you should feel bad about it.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I told you,” Jade’s eyes drop to her notebook again, “almost every person here would kill you for the shot you had.”

 

* * *

 

A week and a half goes by more easily than Tori had anticipated. Though people still stared at her a little, interest had plummeted when she spent her first weekend on the oval reading in plain sight for all to see. She took about four-dozen pictures and even discussed plots in depth with a few students. After the stigma wore off the students seemed less interested and by late Sunday afternoon she was reading in peace.

 

Tori really likes to be outside. They had filmed in New York, so Central Park was all she really knew about greenery. Even when she wasn’t filming, she was in LA with her family, when they were there. Her mother lived with her on set but her father remained in LA, combined with Trina at Hollywood Arts in Northern California left them with little time together as a unit.

 

She and Trina had been forced to submit to a Sunday dinner together every week by order of their parents. They sat in the back of the cafeteria, Trina with her back to the corner of the room so she could see without being seen and Tori totally unaware of a number of people her sister mentioned in her barrage of gossip. Then the eldest daughter turned the subject on how it was smart of her to get in with Jade because she was super popular since she scared pretty much everybody, and she was still on top after her break up, despite the odds. Tori is left feeling dizzy and in need of quiet, which Jade provided in plenty. Sometimes it was content-angry, sometimes it was happy-angry, and occasionally she brought up a conversation without needing to be goaded by Tori.

 

Tori feels accomplished by the end of her first week, sitting only somewhat accosted by the staring masses passing by or settling in. André is tuning a guitar she had her parents sent over for her music class.

 

“I can’t believe you can do that by ear.”

 

“Natural talents come in many varieties,” he replies. “How long have you played?”

 

“A few years. Even fewer with the piano, but I know the basics at the very least.”

 

“What did you do in your free time?” André asks as he hands the instrument back to her, revealing the notebook and pencil in his lap. “You must have had some talents that you didn’t acquire just for the sake of reality on television.”

 

Tori laughs and strums a few bars of a song she doesn’t remember the name of, biting her lip as she thinks of an answer. “I watched a lot of television. I thought I had watched a lot of classic films, but apparently Marilyn and Audrey don’t cut it by this school’s standards. I liked to sing. Read. Um… oh, I know archery!” She forgot about the lessons she took between the long break between seasons four and five.

 

“That’s… interesting. Why archery?”

 

“I don’t know. I always had a thing for Robin Hood, I guess,” she muses.

 

“The fox?”

 

“The man. Ass.”

 

André laughs and taps his pencil rhythmically against the metal spiral binding. “That’s pretty cool. Have to admit, I don’t mind watching Jennifer Lawrence kill people with a bow.”

 

“No one does. Jennifer Lawrence makes everything she does interesting.” Tori leans over, her jean shorts surely getting stained from the ground beneath them because of it. “I met her once. At the Golden Globes. She was super nice.”

 

“I am so jealous of you. You have no idea. The most famous person I’ve met was Tootie from _The Facts of Life_. She gave an incredibly uninspiring speech.” André shifts so he can kick off his flip-flops. “So what’s it like living with Jade?”

 

“Pretty okay. Why?”

 

“She’s kind of a legend. I’m sure you can imagine why.” He smiles at her in his warm way, eyes shining when he pulled his hair like he had this day. “Don’t get me wrong, I love her, but she’s not exactly a gentle flower.”

 

“She’s not. But she’s smart and funny. I honestly don’t know much about her though.”

 

“Jade is… intimidating. But she’s also pretty and talented. She works really hard on her projects and it shows. Gorgeous voice. Disturbing but great playwright. Word on the street is that she went through a girl phase after Beck, but no one’s ever confirmed it. Any witnesses have clearly been dealt with. I can tell you that she _is_ a very good kisser.”

 

Tori gasps and throws a handful of grass at him. “You didn’t.”

 

“I did,” he laughs, brushing the dirt and grass off his notebook. “It was a little while before her and Beck hooked up last year. Not a big deal.”

 

“And now Beck and Cat… that seems like an odder couple than Beck and Jade.”

 

“I know, he really did a one-eighty after the break up. I’m pretty sure Jade knows, but he and Cat started hanging out weeks before they announced they were anything.”

 

“Are Jade and Cat really close?” Tori asks as she flexes her fingers on the neck of the guitar. She needs to toughen up her fingers again.

 

“Jade’s not really close with anyone, really. I think Jade and Cat became friends by default of partners being sorted out by last names. The two of them and Robbie and me were in a lot of classes freshman year, and in our sophomore year Jade started dating Beck. That was how this weird little group came to be. Play that chord again,” Robbie insists and Tori obeys until he leans over and adjusts one of the tuning keys, “There.”

 

“I don’t get it, she’s been totally cool with me. I mean, she’s not super forthcoming, but she’s been really nice.” Tori fiddles with the strap as André’s eyebrows rise.

 

“She must like you.”

 

“You say that like it’s something weird and perverse.” Strap adjusted, she has no excuse but to meet André’s gaze again. “She’s taking me to a party off-campus after this month’s showcase.”

 

“I already played last month or I’d be forcing you to play a song with me. Stupid rules.”

 

“Yeah, well, I’m not sure I’ll be comfortable around these people until they’ve seen me flat on my face drunk anyway, so you’re off the hook for a few days.” Tori pauses. “What exactly are the rules about going off campus? Where do we go?”

 

“Well a lot of the kids and teachers live in the town about twenty minutes away. You must have gone through it. Some of them have super rich parents who keep a residence for visits but never stay in it, and some people just have normal people parents who live in town. Like Jade.”

 

“Jade’s family lives in town?” Tori blurts. She literally could not recall one mention of Jade’s family in her near two weeks time of living with the girl.

 

“Yeah. Her parents are split up and her father travels a lot, but both of them have places in town. Little brother too.” André gives her a reassuring look. “Don’t feel like you’ve been left out. I didn’t find out for a year, until she had a cast party at her dad’s place. Now she is someone you want drunk, she is a very happy drunk.”

 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Are you coming tomorrow?”

 

“I’ve been thinking about it. Let me catch a ride with you guys and I will – I hate taking the shuttle. Robbie won’t go and I think Cat is performing so her and Beck will probably be all over her if they end up coming. You’ll have to be with me on offense when it comes to getting Jade drunk enough to not get pissy about it.”

 

* * *

 

The drinking game they’re currently is incredibly complicated. If you have pick a four all the girls drink, a six for the boys, the queen has something to do with putting your thumb on the table and not being the last one to do so, among many other complicated rules. Jade is quick-witted though, always catching people off guard and drawing good cards from the pile on the table. Everyone is quick to punish her however – whenever a two was drawn the holder had to give two shots to anyone at the table and Jade was always targeted.

 

She takes the drinks so well in stride, composed but joyful that Tori was surprised to find out just how drunk she really was not ten minutes after having gotten up from the table to leave. Jade’s arm is linked with hers and her head resting against Tori’s as they walk along the damp, leaf-ridden sidewalks.

 

“Where am I even going? Can’t we just call a cab? I’ll cover it.”

 

“Nah, you gotta learn the tricks of the trade, Victoria,” Jade says precisely, eloquent while she stumbles. “The shuttle goes until two in the morning. Around the town and to the school and back. It was voted on by the PTA and seen as _so_ progressive. Come on, there’s a stop on the next block.”

 

They arrive at the bus stop – a large shining black sign with bright red lettering simply stating that it was indeed a bus stop.  Tori shivers because she didn’t think to wear a jacket when they had sprung for the cab to town, but Jade is warm against her - one arm looped under Tori’s so her hand was clasped on Tori’s bicep, with Jade now having brought her other hand coming up to cover that one.

 

Tori doesn’t know what to do with her hands and she can’t help the occasional tremble. “How long until the bus comes?”

 

“Anywhere from one minute to half an hour. One second, I have an app on my phone. Did you bring your school ID?”

 

“I gave it to you.” Tori promptly has her wallet shoved at her as Jade continues the search for her phone.

 

“Three minutes,” Jade announces when she successfully opens the app. “Hopefully it’s early.”

 

The bus is, and Tori can see how easily recognizable it is for a Hollywood Arts bus – midsized, painted purple with warm, cushioned interiors. Jade stills leans on her heavily in the seat, eyes closed and leaving Tori with no choice but to lean back or choose the cold glass window.

 

“You know, you’re the first roommate I haven’t hated in a long time.”

 

“You do hate me, remember? Everyone does.”

 

“Well, besides that,” Jade mumbles as she blindly puts her phone back in her purse, holding her hand out for Tori’s wallet. Tori gives it to her. “Next time you visit LA, I want some star perks. Free perfume and sunglasses.”

 

“I’ll make you a deal. I’ll bring back the swag baskets I get if I ever choose to go to an event if you tell me about your family.”

 

Jade is quiet for a long time, so quiet that Tori thinks she’s fallen asleep. They make two more stops, picking up three different groups of kids, but Jade remains silent. She rises automatically when the bus stops in front of the school, startling Tori in the seat.

 

It’s not until they’re well across the quiet oval that Jade speaks. “My mom’s just a normal mom. She has a job as a secretary at my brother’s school. She spends most of her time with him. My dad works. He has an apartment in Hollywood no one’s supposed to know about.” She yawns and fumbles to slide her card key on the outer door to the dormitories, and then again in the elevator to go to their floor. “That’s basically it. I have an aunt who was on Broadway for awhile. She goes on tours and stuff now, so I see her sometimes. She’s my favorite.”

 

“André said you have a great voice. You must get it from her.” The walk down the hallway once they reach their floor is excruciating and Tori has to wrestle the keycard away from Jade so she can open the door in one go.

 

Jade has her shirt off before the door is closed behind them and Tori jumps into the bathroom, both out of embarrassment of still having not seen her roommate change and because of the many beers that seem to be kicking her in the bladder. When she finishes Jade is mostly dressed, sitting on the edge of her bed and struggling to pull up her sweatpants.

 

“I do like to sing. I don’t like to think of it as my only career choice. Broadway is different though… singing, dancing, acting, directing, writing – you can do everything there.” Jade stops as her voice begins to ramble a bit, her sweatpants successfully on. She begins again when she’s settled under her sheets. “But who knows. I’m surprised you didn’t make it to Broadway since you filmed there.”

 

“I had a few offers,” Tori replies honestly as she pulls on a long shirt. “But it always clashed with something. I would have liked it, I think. I like it here. What would be your dream role?”

 

Jade sighs, her eyes closed and face relaxed. “Something in _Chicago_ , I think.”

 

“You’d be great.” Tori climbs into her own bed and turns off the last light in the room. “If what I hear about you is true.”

 

Jade hums but gives no more reply, clearly asleep in less than a minute. Tori smiles. André – who was left with a redhead at the party – was totally right; drunk Jade was the way to go. She, however, did not look forward to hungover Jade.

 

* * *

 

Tori isn’t actually surprised to see Jade already awake when she cracks her eyes open, her counterpart in the same serene position she fell into and Tori with the covers wrapped up in her legs.

 

“You look like a ragdoll when you sleep.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s good or bad. What time is it?”

 

“Eleven. It’s good by the way.”

 

Jade turns so her back is to Tori and the light filtering from their curtains. Tori at least feels she has enough energy to drag herself to the shower, rinsing her mouth constantly with the water spraying down as the sick taste kept creeping back onto her tongue.

 

She gets ready slowly, throwing on a hat over her semi-wet hair and leaving the room all while Jade remains turned toward the wall. She walks the campus alone, the crowd thinner than it usually is. She stops by the cafeteria and takes some things to go, though she doesn’t dare go back to her room until she stops at the coffee vendor.

 

When she returns to her room Jade is up, with her hair wet, and her pajamas changed into a different set. She’s sitting back against her headboard, neck rolled back and eyes shut, even when Tori makes her way towards her.

 

“I brought coffee. And toast and eggs-”

 

“No eggs. They make me sick all on their own as it is.”

 

“Well,” Tori begins as she slid on the end of the mattress, putting the trays between them, “good. I like eggs, I’ll eat yours. There’s muffins in the bag.”

 

Jade goes for the coffee first and a lone piece of toast before settling back.

 

“Thanks for the food, Jenny.”

 

Tori laughs at the mention of her character’s name and grabs one of the plastic forks. “We should watch that today. I can be your living, breathing commentary.”

 

They do just that, after the remnants of their breakfast has been thrown out (in a hallway garbage can because Jade was _not_ kidding about the egg thing) and their muffins saved for later. They grab Tori’s extra pillow and blanket and use it to pad the wall behind them as they sat hip-to-hip in the middle of Jade’s bed, her laptop set up between them.

 

By dinner time they’re more than halfway through season four and Tori has spilled almost every bit of behind the scenes information she knows in breaks they take during the episode. She’s relieved they stopped where they did because her dreaded loss of virginity scene that had garnered so much attention during sweeps, the one that had officially made her recognized among the media masses, is coming up.

 

“Your boyfriend was gay wasn’t he?”

 

Tori sputters at the sudden question that seems more like a statement. Her boyfriend had been hers on and off-screen, and was indeed gay, though Tori obviously hadn’t known that at the time.

 

“How the hell can you tell that?”

 

Jade shrugs and sets her laptop aside, moving to stand. “I have a good gaydar.”

 

“Well he is. But it’s a secret. It was a secret all through the filming and our relationship and I’m pretty sure I was the last to know.”

 

“PR is a bitch, I’m sure.” Jade stretches and pushes back the hair from her pale face before stepping forward and peeking out the blinds. “Did you sleep with him?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you couldn’t tell?” The dark haired girl turns to face her.

 

“He was my first guy ever. I just thought it was always that awkward.” She still talks to Henry, they _were_ best friends for almost seven years, but when he came out it was incredibly bittersweet. Mostly because Tori had actually thought they were in a real relationship. “Really, how could you tell?”

 

“I don’t know. He’s an alright actor and everything but… I don’t know. He seemed to okay with you touching him, but not touching you. Which is the exact opposite of the mindset of most teenage boys, on or off camera.” Jade turns to her with a smirk on her face. “So did you rebound off him to see if it was really always that awkward?”

 

Tori laughs and looks down at her lap. “Yes. It was definitely better with someone who was at least semi-interested in me. I wish I could be one of those slutty teenage stars who sleep with whoever, but unfortunately I still know what shame is.”

 

It’s Jade’s turn to laugh, loudly and genuinely and it makes Tori smile wider. “Put on something more appropriate, I want something home-cooked tonight.”

 

They don’t make it to town until after six, Jade insisting on paying for the taxi because she had been too impatient to wait for the shuttle. They pull up to a small Victorian-style house, complete with a large wraparound deck and dark blue shutters. Jade walks right through the opened front door and Tori quickly follows, feeling weird by how normal this house seems compared to one of its inhabitants.

 

“Mom?” She calls as she kicks off her shoes and drops her bag on the floor in a space that seemed designated for just that thing. Jade impatiently pulls the fumbling Tori into a bright open kitchen, where a small table is set up at the breakfast nook. Already seated were two people.

 

“Jade! I wasn’t sure you were going to come tonight, we were just about to begin.” A brunette with a few key features that placed her clearly as her daughter’s mother – the cheeks, the eyebrows, and the chin specifically. “And you brought… Jenny de Luca with you.”

 

“Tori Vega,” Tori waves her hand. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

 

“And you.” Jade’s mother is already preparing plates for them, lasagna and garlic bread, and Jade herself has dropped to a spot at the table. “How do you even know Jade? Are you speaking at the school?”

 

“We’re roommates, actually. I just started this month.” Tori awkwardly moves through the kitchen to take the last empty seat, a plate being put down in front of her the second she settles in. “Thank you for having me. I’m not intruding am I?”

 

“No, of course not. Jade, introduce your brother.”

 

“Tori, this is my brother.” Jade waves her fork in the general direction of the small, chestnut haired boy sitting at the end of the small table.

 

“Jade.”

 

“Ann.”

 

“ _Jade_.”

 

Tori laughs unexpectedly at the exchange, earning her the attention of the table. She blushes but brushes it off by turning to look at the boy on her right.

 

“Hi. I’m Tori.”

 

“I’m Jason. I’ve seen you on TV.”

 

“That’s because Tori was in a very successful show. What was it like working with Bobby Cannavale? He’s so handsome.” Jade’s mother is up from the table before Tori can respond, heading to the refrigerator. “What would you two like to drink?”

 

“Mom, Tori doesn’t want to talk about the show. Water is fine.”

 

“Same. And it was great. He was really nice off camera. He invited cast members home for dinner with his family all the time, I ended up becoming really close with his son.” Tori smiles as she accepts the glass of water and glances over at Jade, who is eating her meal with little attention paid elsewhere. “Are you artistic at all? Or does Jade get it from her dad?”

 

“The only thing Jade gets from her father are those boobs – the women in his family are stacked-”

 

“Mother!”

 

“No one knows where she came up with all that talent. Guess it’s all her own.”

 

Jade glowers at the compliment, Tori suspects because she’s unable to think of something to say back, so Tori diverts her attention to Jason.

 

“What about you, little man? Any hobbies.”

 

“I like sports but I’m not good at them so I watch them.” Much like Jade, Jason speaks clearly and drolly, which Tori would have thought was impossible before she came in contact with the West family.

 

“Well, I’m pretty good at basketball, maybe we should play sometime.”

 

“You should try out for the school’s team, Tori,” Jade’s mother says from her other side, “Their school teams are actually quite good.”

 

“You’re saying ‘actually’ because it’s an art school, aren’t you?” Jade intones, ripping a chunk of bread off to eat.

 

“I might, thanks for letting me know.” Nothing is more normal than a school sport. Tori likes that.

 

“Jade’s on the volleyball team,” Jason adds.

 

“I didn’t know that.”

 

“You never asked,” Jade replies as she takes a sip of her water. The rest of the meal goes on without much fanfare. Jade’s mother is so weirdly normal and level-headed and _motherly_. For some reason Tori expected something that mirrored her daughter more.

 

After dinner Jade leads Tori up the stairs to a door at the end of the hallway the reveals even more stairs, leading up to Jade’s attic room. It’s decorated with posters that hang from the revealed beams on wires set up on tracks. Tori immediately turns to a framed poster for the musical _Skip_ , a signed program taking up one corner and a picture of a young Jade with the show’s lead.

 

“You got to meet Jennifer Balfour?” Tori asks, nail tapping against the picture. “My mom took me to see the show once, but we couldn’t get backstage.”

 

“She prefers ‘Aunt Jen’, but maybe that’s just for me to use.”

 

“You’re kidding. She’s your aunt? Oh my god, I’m so jealous of your existence.” Tori takes in the other items in the room, the other picture frames containing playbills and posters of things that were written or starring Jade. That combined with a few select movie posters had the small loft-like space feeling like a gallery rather than a bedroom. “And your room kicks ass.”

 

Jade pulls back the curtains she has draped at the end of the room, revealing her bed behind the thick red velvet. The mattress is on the floor, but the way the plush pillows are set up, it makes it seem more like a large couch than an actual bed. Tori finds herself remaining by the steps, looking out the picture window onto the dark street. Jade’s desk is set up nearby, its top bare of everything except a notepad and a pencil.

 

“Your room must be pretty killer. Ever make it on _Cribs_?”

 

Tori can’t see her, but she’s sure Jade is smirking. “ _No_. My rooms have been the same since I turned eight. I’ve been too lazy to change anything.”

 

“Come over here.” Tori immediately turns on foot at the command and walks towards Jade, the curtains closing behind her. Jade slips past them again and drops onto the bed, looking up out the large window facing her backyard. “Sit down, dumbass.”

 

“So mean.” She does so anyway, copying Jade’s position and almost gasping at the view. The country sky is blanketed in stars, shining brighter than Tori could ever remember seeing them. “Sometimes I forget the downsides to the city.”

 

Jade turns so she’s on her stomach, head resting comfortably on a pillow. “Do you miss having a boyfriend?”

 

“Sometimes. You?”

 

A shrug. “Sometimes.”

 

“I heard a rumor about you.”

 

“Oh?” Jade’s eyebrow raises and she looks genuinely intrigued.

 

“Word on the street is that you went through a girl phase.” Tori laughs a little due to the near-bursting embarrassment she feels as she turns her head to meet Jade’s eyes.

 

“Interesting.”

 

Tori laughs again and looks back up at the ceiling, hands nervously fiddling with the end of her shirt. “I went through one after Henry. I think.”

 

“You think?” Jade snorts, propping her head up on her hand. “There really isn’t a variable there.”

 

“I mean I hooked up with a girl. I can’t tell you who, she’s doing movies now.” She knows she’s pink up to her ears now but she can’t look at Jade again.

 

Jade clears her throat, her face still looking amused. “Did you like it?”

 

“Um… I didn’t hate it – the other person being a girl part. But she wasn’t really… much of a giver…” Tori rubs her eyes, laughing once again. “But it was fine.”

 

“God, your love life sounds so depressing. You must have lived vicariously through Jenny.”

 

“You know, it never really bothered me. I just always figured I wasn’t a relationship person or whatever.” She actually feels a little relieved saying this out loud for the first. Jade’s smirking at her in a way that’s making the hair on her skin rise. “What?”

 

“Nothing, it’s just… you might as well be a virgin, judging by how involved you seem to have been in your past endeavors.” Jade sits up and rolls over to the end of the bed, where a side table drawer without legs is positioned. She turns back to Tori with her fists held out. “Which one?”

 

Tori reaches over and presses her index finger to Jade’s right hand. The pale fingers turn and open, revealing a tightly wrapped joint. “Weird. Every body always gets cigarette.” She tosses the aforementioned item back towards the end table before standing up to open the latch on the window. “We’re staying here tonight.”

 

“I figured.” Tori stands up and wobbly walks off the mattress to meet Jade, taking the joint out of her hand.

 

“What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever done?” Jade asks as she breathes her smoke out the open window.

 

“To be honest? I smoked crack once. By accident at a cast party. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I definitely didn’t know it was crack.” Jade guffaws and Tori pushes her shoulder, taking another hit before passing the joint back. “I was fifteen, leave me alone. Henry took care of me, thankfully. It was the first time our relationship was rumored in the tabloids because he was seen dropping me off at my hotel.”

 

“Oh, to be young and famous.” Jade hums something while she thinks of her next question. “Have you ever had sex while you were high?” When Tori shakes her head Jade laughs and passes it back. “It’s great.”

 

“How many people have you had sex with?” Tori pauses, squinting. “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

 

Jade continues to hum and shakes her head when Tori tries to give her the next hit. “Three.”

 

Tori nods and shrugs. “Two. Not that far ahead of me, are you?”

 

“I think me enjoying the sex I’ve had kind of tips it in my favor.”

 

“Fine, fine, you win.” She leans forward, to the small ashtray that was shoved between a corner of the roof and the ledge it sat on. Tori closes the window and stood in front of Jade, feeling her fingers give a small spasm. “I’m really tired.”

 

Jade laughs and reaches under her shirt, unsnapping her bra with one hand and pulling the straps over her arms so she could toss it away. She does away with her skirt and stockings next, left in her underwear and a t-shirt.

 

“Pick a spot, Hollywood.” Jade drops to the mattress and pulls one of the many spread out blankets over her.

 

Tori eventually follows suits – her fingers have more trouble with the button on her jeans than reasonably necessary. She dives under a blanket and sorts through the pillows until she finds one that she likes. Jade’s still smirking that smirk at her when she settles down.

 

“ _What?_ ” Tori stresses, unable to stop the chuckle the follows her word.

 

“Nothing, I just feel bad for you.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because you’ve clearly never gotten off.”

 

“Is this really what teenage girls talk about? I kind of thought that we were pushing it with that.” Tori brings the blanket up to her nose in a lame attempt to hide behind it. “Just because no one else has ever done it to _me-_ ”

 

“Have you ever gotten yourself off?”

 

“No.” Jade outright laughs once again, and Tori feels a small sense of accomplishment over it. “Everyone makes it out to be like you’re some scary vampire, you know that? But you’ve been nothing but cool to me.”

 

“Maybe I’m just luring you in to make you my next victim,” Jade adds dryly.

 

Tori smiles and looks down. “It’s hot. The self-confidence thing. I get why it scares some people, but come on. It’s totally hot.”

 

“Well, now that I have a Hollywood starlet’s approval, I can finally live my life.” Tori meets her eyes briefly before returning them to the empty space between their two bodies. “Guess the demure thing is your angle, huh?”

 

“Is it working?”

 

Jade throws a pillow at her and then turns onto her back, stretched out under the open light from the window.

 

“Goodnight, Victoria.”

 

Tori smiles and curls herself into the large pillow she’s holding onto. “Goodnight, Jade.”

 

They stay up talking for five more hours, repeating their goodnights at every lull in the conversation and then laughing when a new topic sentence was thought of. When Tori wakes up they seem to have dipped into the middle, her nose now level with Jade’s shoulder. She’s never enjoyed a Monday morning more.


	2. Part Two

“I don’t understand these posters,” Tori laments as she sits down with her tray. It is unusually warm October day, allowing them to sit out in the sun rather than the cafeteria. The poster in question was advertising for Halloween Dress-Up Day, but the pictures had Tori confused – photoshopped in were two students, a guy and girl both dressed in the standard school uniforms. At the bottom it reminds students to not forget their mints. “Why do I have to have mints?”

 

“Because that’s what we do here,” Jade states, stabbing at her salad with her fork. Cat and Beck aren’t sitting with them, but with some of Beck’s friends, curled into each other like they’re trying to become one person.

 

“Yeah, Halloween is different here. We don’t dress up, we get in uniform,” Robbie informs her from across the table.

 

“But why the mints?”

 

André shrugs. “It seemed more considerate than candy.”

 

Tori shakes her head in bemusement and sets the flyer down, picking at her french fries instead. She takes note of Jade’s violent mood and reaches over to squeeze her knee. Jade freezes but keeps her eyes on her salad, not moving until Tori removes her hand.

 

After her last class, Jade leads her to the office to get her school appointed shoes after Tori is made aware that they are indeed included in the Halloween tradition. Jade continues on down the hall when they receive what they came for, turning mid-step to smirk and nod towards a stand set up selling mints for the next day.

 

“This school is truly fascinating,” Tori laughs, but she stands in line nonetheless. They return to their dorm so Tori can lay out her clothes for the next day and pack her binder with mints. She glances over at Jade who is sitting at her desk and staring out the window, a pen spinning around her fingers. “So the Beck and Cat thing? Not getting any easier?”

 

“I’m being petty, huh?”

 

“I never said that,” Tori sighs as she slips out of her stockings and skirt. She’s getting more comfortable changing, but she still prefers to do it when Jade’s back is turned. She’s at least upgraded to wearing her glasses at night now, the headaches having become too much for her. “I think it sucks that you’re in this position, you know.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Jade turns around unexpectedly and Tori nearly trips in her pajama bottoms. “So, party on campus tomorrow night.”

 

“So it’ll be alcohol free?”

 

“Not likely.” Tori laughs and sits down on her bed, looking down in her lap as Jade strips herself of her clothes. She always sits on the end of Tori’s mattress when she has to slip on her sweatpants. “So have you found a sweetheart at school yet?”

 

“You’d know it if I had. I think Perez would manage to find out. That’s why I have to be careful at these parties. Dad doesn’t want to see me in any compromising pictures.” Tori is undoing her shirt, taking a deep breath before she turns her attention to her bra. “But I guess we can’t get in much trouble at a high school sponsored party.”

 

Jade snorts and smacks away Tori’s fumbling fingers, undoing her bra with a quick twist before she stands and walks towards the vanity, beginning her routine of ridding herself of her heavy make up. Tori blinks and blindly reaches for the shirt she laid out, tugging it on and tossing her bra in the small hamper near the end of her bed. Jade always pulls these weird close moments out of nowhere and Tori doesn’t know what to make of them.

 

“Some of the acts that signed up to play are pretty alright,” Jade starts, rubbing her eyes after she clears them of the eye shadow she had so systematically painted on that morning. “It’ll be fun.”

 

Tori nods noncommittally and tosses her binder onto the floor, suddenly feeling exhausted. Jade glances back and then turns around fully, facing Tori while she leans against the sink.

 

“Hold out your wrist.” Tori does – her left one, which is promptly grabbed by Jade and pulled until she stands. Jade leads Tori over to her bed, pushing her down to sit on it while she grabs her laptop. “Get comfortable. Movie time.”

 

Tori lays on her side while Jade settles her computer on her lap for them to watch, circling through the choices on Netflix. The bed is a little larger than a twin, standard dorm size, but it leaves them little room. Tori finally has to settle on resting her hand on Jade’s hip with nowhere else to put it.

 

“You’re comfortable,” she manages, attempting to ease her own awkwardness. She presses her nose to Jade’s shoulder, hoping that it hides her face enough from the other girl.

 

“You’re warm,” Jade offers in return as she settles on _Taxi Driver_. “Don’t let me fall asleep, I’ve never finished this movie.” They settle in comfortably and don’t say much through the movie, and by less than an hour in, she can hear Jade’s evenly paced breathing, looking up to confirm that she had fallen asleep.

 

“Robert De Niro was hot,” she mumbles as Tori reaches down to close the laptop and slide it carefully to the end of the bed. When she gets up to shift off the bed, Jade catches her and pulls her back down. “Stay here, ragdoll.”

 

She trusts Jade, so much so that she’s handing out mints the whole next day, mostly giving away ones that fans were giving to her. It is nice that everyone in the school seemed to have nice breath, but Tori kind of misses the double Halloween she used to celebrate for the camera and in real life. She misses _The Monster Mash_ and tacky costumes. Even the party that the school holds is decorated like an old fashioned dance rather than black and orange streamers and balloons.

 

“This school’s logic is beyond me,” Tori mutters as they gather around the large punch bowl. “Is the punch spiked?”

 

“No. It’s kind of an unspoken agreement to just spike your own otherwise the bands don’t get to play.” Jade taps her foot with impatience, her hair missing its signature streak and lips covered only in chapstick. She groans and looks over the heads of the crowd in front of them. “Wanna dance instead?”

 

Tori nods dumbly and allows Jade to lead them to the middle of the floor. The songs that are playing are from the forties, old classics that Tori barely remembered. Jade turns out to be a master at swing, spinning Tori at all the right times and laughing as Tori struggles to keep up.

 

“You’re not fair,” Tori mumbles when she’s pulled in close again. Jade smiles but doesn’t respond and Tori is left feeling awkward as the music changes. She looks around, but amongst the sea of uniformed students she and Jade seem indistinguishable from the crowd.

 

_I don’t want to set the world on fire_

_I just want to start a flame in your heart_

_In my heart I have but one desire_

_And that one is you, no other will do_

Tori laughs and Jade pulls back with a questioning look. “This school,” the Latina starts, “I love it. It’s so fucking weird, but I love it.”

 

Jade smiles and looks over the crowd. “I can’t see anyone I know, can you?”

 

“No way.”

 

“Come on, let’s get some air.” Jade’s pulling her again, through the crowds and out a side door. They walk in darkness along the wall, hidden by the ancient trees that grew outside the ring of school buildings.

 

“Will you tell me where we’re going this time? I swear I won’t try to hinder whatever plan you’re thinking of,” Tori sighs as she trips along the reaching roots of the trees.

 

“To my locker.”

 

“Great.”

 

Jade looks back at her, ducking her head to avoid a low hanging branch. “You don’t want to know why?”

 

“Oh, I’m sure you have your reasons.”

 

Tori thinks Jade smiles, but she’s turned back already, bringing Tori to a halt when she finds another door open, having been testing others along their path. They slip into the science building, named after someone who was definitely reaching their hundred and fiftieth birthday. But it’s right next to the main hall, where the lockers are on the upper levels.

 

Jade gets to her locker easily enough in the dark, though how her eyes have adjusted so quickly is beyond Tori. She spins the dial mechanically, opening the door and reaching behind the books she has neatly stacked to pull out a mickey of Jack Daniel’s.

 

“I see why you were so desperate for air,” Tori says when she makes out the label through squinted eyes as the bottle is thrust at her. She freezes at the sound of far off whistling, reaching for Jade’s arm and squeezing it tightly. “Jade.”

 

Jade closes her locker quietly and looks around before deciding to push Tori down the hall in front of them, trying each doorknob they pass. In the distance the brunette can make out the sight of a flashlight beaming up a stairwell, showing the impending arrival of whoever patrolled the halls at nights.

 

“Jade,” she whispers again more urgently. “I cannot be caught, it’ll get-”

 

“Just shut up and stay in front of me,” Jade hisses, grunting as another door fails to give way. “You won’t get caught, just stay against the wall and I’ll-”

 

Before Tori can even hear the doorknob click she’s being pushed through the doorway into an empty, standard looking classroom with maps spread out across the wall. Jade’s not done pulling Tori around though; she grabs her wrist and leads her across the room to the closet door in the back, cursing under her breath as the hinges squeak under pressure.

 

Tori moves as far back into the closet as she can, finding herself backed up against stacks and stacks of cardboard boxes. Jade’s standing in front of her, dark hair and blazer nearly one and the same with the blackness surrounding them. Her hands rest on Tori’s biceps as they stand cheek to cheek.

 

“Do you think he heard us?” Tori asks, hands squeezing the bottle.

 

Jade shakes her head and pulls back so her nose is a hair away from Tori’s. Her grasp on Tori loosens but she still doesn’t let go. Her smirk reaches her eyes, which are the only thing Tori can see given their proximity – so bright and blue, even in the minimal lighting. She takes a shuddering breath and Jade laughs quietly, the sound of the patroller’s whistling bouncing off the lockers in the hallway behind her.

 

“Are you afraid of me?”

 

“Be quiet.”

 

“But a teen star literally getting caught in the closet with some booze sounds like an awfully good headline to-”

 

She’s goading Tori to silence her, to kiss her. Tori does, sloppily at first because Jade doesn’t finish speaking right away. When she finally responds, she still makes Tori work for it, making her lean into Jade like the blue-eyed girl isn’t the one holding Tori down. Tori drops the bottle she’s holding to the side, earning her a chuckle against her own lips. She replies to Jade by reaching up told hold her face with one hand and tangle the other in Jade’s dark hair. She hadn’t realized how desperate she had been for this, for _Jade_. Jade slows the kiss, wrapping her arms around Tori’s lower back and pulling away when Tori would press for more.

 

She’s unaware of how long they stay like that, but eventually Jade pulls away, abruptly reaching down to retrieve her bottle. When she stands again she smirks slightly at Tori’s panting form and nods her head, leading them back out the way they came. She steers them onto a familiar course to her rooftop getaway and within twenty minutes, they’re settling on the blanket, wrapping their blazers tightly around themselves as they watched the few people who had turned the party from the dance to the outside. Only when they’re huddled together close does Jade open her bottle, taking a gulp, shuddering and passing it over to Tori.

 

“What the hell was that?” Tori asks bluntly as she accepts the whiskey.

 

“What was what?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

Jade shrugs and steals the bottle back after Tori takes her own drink. “You’re the one who kissed me.”

 

“At least do me the kindness of acknowledging that you took part in the act.” Tori leans in to press her nose against Jade’s shoulder, mostly out of the need to warm her very cold nose. “How long have you wanted to do that?”

 

Jade laughs and shakes her head. “You’re so full of yourself.”

 

“Come on, no one makes out with their roommate out of the blue.” She grabs the bottle and earns another laugh. “I’ll tell you if you tell me.”

 

“Deal.”

 

“Pretty much since the moment I saw you.”

 

Jade snorts and reaches to grab the whiskey, only to still her hand over Tori’s. “Well, sorry if you were trying to be subtle, but it’s been pretty obvious.”

 

“So you just decided out of the blue to fulfill a whim of mine?” Tori turns her head to smile up at her.

 

“I didn’t say that.”

 

“Okay, when?”

 

Jade pries Tori’s left hand from the bottle to connect with her own. “Honestly? That last sex scene in season six.”

 

“Oh, come on. That doesn’t count,” Tori whines, tearing her hand away with a laugh. “That wasn’t even me, that was a character I played.”

 

“Well, you played the part well, Victoria. Take the compliment.”

 

“Let’s go get drunk in our dorm room instead of on a freezing rooftop.” Tori stands and holds out her hand. Jade seems reluctant to take it, but eventually she relents and allows herself to be dragged over to the never-ending ladder. They slip back into the room the dance is being held in, still going strong despite the late hour. They step out into the oval and weave through the people outside. When they finally return to their bedroom, Tori is somewhat scared of going in. Jade, however, waltzes in like nothing has changed, tossing her beloved bottle onto her bed as she strips herself from her jacket and cardigan.

 

“I really need to… talk about this thing….” she says eventually, leaning back against their door. “Because… no one can really know about this and-”

 

“I get that, Tori, don’t worry.” She begins on the buttons and Tori steps forward, her eyebrow furrowed. “Seriously, I won’t tell anyone, you don’t have to worry.”

 

“I’m not, I just need to know what you’re thinking, Jade.” She grabs Jade’s hands to still them, forcing her to look. “Please just tell me what you want.”

 

Jade raises her pierced eyebrow, grabbing hold of Tori’s hands. “What do _you_ want, Tori?”

 

“What I really want… what I really want is to change and climb into your bed and drink and make out until we fall asleep, because if we don’t the only alternative I see is me making a really bad attempt at me jumping your bones.” Tori clears her throat. “If you must know.”

 

Jade drops Tori’s hands and continues to undo her buttons, lips giving off just the faintest hint of a smile. “And what will you want tomorrow?”

 

Tori fumbles to keep up, tearing off her jacket and cardigan. “I think you have to answer my question first.”

 

Jade nods and turns to step towards her dresser, unsnapping her bra as she reaches for a shirt. “I want… to come back from class every day and see you here.”

 

“Well, I can give you a hundred or so days of that.” Tori stops for a moment and watches Jade unabashedly after she gives her surprisingly sentimental statement.

 

“Promise?” She turns back to face Tori, snorting as Tori kept her gaze on Jade’s face. “You have to cross your heart and hope to die.”

 

“Desperate,” Tori tries to say sarcastically, but the way Jade laughs makes her feel like it’s at her rather than the remark. Tori finally takes it upon herself to be the one to turn around, changing into her own pajamas without removing her bra. Jade’s sitting on her bed, her bottle returned to her hands. “Don’t you at least have something to chase that down with?”

 

Jade shakes her head and takes a swig, setting it back down so she can burrow under the blankets. Tori eventually takes the hint to join her, turning off the lights and settling in next to her roommate. She bites her lip, reaching towards the hem of Jade’s shirt.

 

“Are you alright?” Jade asks as Tori takes a jittering breath as she reaches up to touch Tori’s neck.

 

“Mm-hmm,” Tori replies from the back of her throat, brushing the tips of her fingers against Jade’s stomach.

 

“Breathe, ragdoll.”

 

“Shut up,” Tori laughs, shaking her head before leaning in to kiss Jade. It’s so comfortable and warm in their cocoon of blankets, and Jade tastes like whiskey. That was Henry’s drink as well, had been since he turned fourteen. It makes Jade feel more familiar, puts Tori at ease. “Please tell me you’re not thinking of my sex scene.”

 

“It was _really_ convincing.”

 

Tori pushes the laughing Jade onto her back, hovering overtop and unable to hide the smile on her face. She kisses Jade’s chin, then the underside, and then down her neck as her hands pushed at each side of her shirt, revealing her slim waist.

 

“What will it take _me_ to convince you?” Tori asks as she sits up to straddle Jade’s hips.

 

Jade smiles and reaches up to pull Tori back down to her, kissing her soundly before her hands travel down Tori’s back. “Let’s go to sleep.”

 

“We don’t… we don’t have to, like, wait or whatever, you know. Really, I’m not as bad as my track record would make me seem.” Tori’s hand slides up Jade’s neck, their bodies pressing hip-to-hip, breast-to-breast. She definitely likes that.

 

Still, Jade turns so they’re both on their sides, at least giving in and rewarding Tori with long, heady kisses for a long time before pulling away completely. She pushes Tori over so she can throw her arm over the Latina’s slim waist.

 

“Sit still, Hollywood. I’m not going anywhere.” Jade stretches out, biting at Tori’s ear.

 

“You’re not being fair,” Tori whispers back.

 

“I don’t particularly care about being fair.”

 

* * *

 

Tori wakes up to the now-familiar warmth of Jade next to her, though this time she was securely held by Jade’s limp hold. Tori blinks her eyes, but she can’t make much out other than the ceiling with Jade still pressed against her like she was. She sits perfectly still, but somehow Jade seems to sense that she’s woken up.

 

“Take off your shirt,” she whispers into Tori’s ear, doing nothing to remove the arm that would hinder Tori in this process. Tori obeys anyway, squirming out of the loose shirt and tossing it away. Jade’s above her in an instant, her smile more of a smirk and her top quickly following Tori’s to the floor.

 

Tori smiles up at Jade and slides her hands through her thick, dark hair, pulling her closer. But Jade resists, choosing instead to kiss Tori’s jaw and chin at a languid pace that already had Tori’s heart in her throat.

 

“Tell me about the first time you were with a girl,” Jade demands, relaxing her body against Tori’s and nudging her head to the side with her nose so her lips could travel down the tan neck underneath her.

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I figure it’s hotter than your first time with your gay boyfriend.”

 

Tori laughs, her bra scratching against her skin, feeling like a collar that was on too tight. “She was twenty and she knew one of the producers of the show, he was doing her next movie or something. So she came to the wrap party for the episode.”

 

“What did she look like?” Jade presses a kiss to Tori’s shoulder.

 

“Short. Bottle blonde. Brightest blue eyes.” She shudders as Jade’s lips move along her clavicle. “Long legs… really funny. She invited me over for dinner…”

 

“And took advantage of your sweet naivety?” Jade asks sliding down Tori’s chest, past her bra but taking the straps with her. Tori laughs and removes them from her arms.

 

“No. We talked all night. She didn’t make her move until sunrise until I was good and stoned.” Tori’s hands slip from Jade’s shoulders to her hips as she sits to straddle her like she had the night before. This time she allows herself to look. “We just made out. That time.”

 

“Sit up.” Tori does, sliding her hands around to Jade’s lower back as she twists the clasps of her bra are undone and freed, leaving the garment falling between them. Jade kisses her when they’re both finally topless, sliding her hands up Tori’s bare sides. “How far did you get with her?”

 

Tori smiles when she hears the sound of people in the halls, unknowing of what was happening behind their door. She bites her lip, which does nothing to hinder her grin, but it’s a nervous habit she can’t seem to break while her hands squirm between them to all but manhandle Jade’s breasts.

 

“I made it pretty far with her, but I the favor wasn’t really returned. I never even saw her naked.” She kisses Jade roughly, finally feeling free enough to give into what she wants to do. “I was definitely missing out.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jade reminds her, her breath becoming deep and heavy. The way she kisses Tori is sweet and hot and Tori was feeling desperate for more. She pulls Jade back down to the bed, her legs sliding over Jade’s hips. But Jade detangles from Tori’s grasp to breathe out, “But now I have to go somewhere.”

 

Tori’s hips fall to the bed as Jade stands, walking towards their small bathroom.

 

“ _Why_?” Tori whines, gathering the covers to warm her half-naked body. “Where?”

 

“Volleyball tryouts,” Jade says as if it had been news known to all. She closes the door behind her and the fan starts to run. For whatever reason, this has Tori rushing to get dressed and return to her still made bed. She throws her hair up after pulling her binder to her lap.

 

She has no idea what just happened. She does, but she doesn’t. And every minute Jade’s in the shower is a minute closer to her coming back through that door. Tori has a certain level of neurosis about these things now and when Jade does return, it sets every nerve on edge.

 

“So can we discuss things? I’d feel much better knowing what ground I’m on. Not that you… you know, totally get to choose, that’s why I said discuss. Because I want to know what you’re thinking because I have _no idea_ what I’m thinking right now, but you seem to have a better handle on life than I do.”

 

Jade just looks at her in the reflection of the mirror, raising her eyebrow as she brushes back her hair. She remains quiet while she does a slimmed down version of her routine: applying moisturizer and lotion, but forgetting the makeup, then towel drying her hair lazily just to brush it out again and put it in a ponytail.

 

“How about you take the day to think about what you want so I don’t influence your decision,” she says evenly, turning to her dresser and dropping her towel as she reaches for a sports bra, underwear, and a pair of socks. Jade still has no qualms in undressing around Tori, though Tori can’t find the courage to look yet. “You seem like you can be easily swayed.”

 

Tori looks up as Jade puts on a pair of tight spandex shorts and a loose red t-shirt that had her last name and presumably former number on the back. Tori can see the Hollywood Arts monogram on the left side of the shirt as she turns to sit on her bed and put on her socks.

 

“I need to know where you stand. I really, really, really do.”

 

Jade pulls on tear-away track pants that match her shirt and looks at Tori. She doesn’t say a word as she stares, despite the fact that she’s blindly slipping into her shoes before grabbing her Hollywood Arts duffel bag. She walks over to Tori’s bed when she’s ready, leaning over to trick Tori into a leading kiss that she stops abruptly. Jade winks and waltzes out of the room, leaving Tori in silence.

 

Tori decides to fill her time with productive things rather than think about the kiss, hoping the mess in her brain would sort itself out while she was preoccupied with bathing and homework and vocal exercises. André texts her and informs her that they’re officially signed up for the November showcase, noting that Jade’s name was already on there. He asks her what she’s doing but Tori replies that she’s in the dark.

 

When she’s left without distraction, Tori’s mind remains as stuck as it was when Jade first walked away from her that morning. All she can think about now is Jade playing volleyball in her shorts. To distract herself from, well, herself, she decides to take a walk, running into Beck before too long. He was standing in line at the coffee vendor outside, waving her over.

 

“What do you take?”

 

“Chai tea latte?”

 

“You heard the woman,” he informs the barista, pulling out his wallet and settling their bill. “How’s Hollywood Arts’ resident showgirl? Have they asked you to attend any fundraiser banquets yet?”

 

“They have actually,” she laughs as she reaches for the cup handed to her. “I guess they have some sort of gala thing at Christmas?”

 

“Ah,” he nods, steering her towards the oval so they could walk around the open green space. “They have some pretty rigorous tryouts for students to perform at that. I take it you’ll just be a trophy though, huh?”

 

“More than likely. The worst part is that Trina gets to come by default because my whole family is invited. My dad’s already dreading it – a TV producer in a room filled with helicopter parents that have kids who go here.” Tori shudders at the thought but takes a sip of her sweet drink. “Are you going to try and audition?”

 

“Nah, I’ll be out of town by then no matter what.”

 

“What do you mean ‘no matter what?’’

 

“Well,” he begins but prolongs by taking a long drink of his own coffee, “Cat’s parents invited me to come spend Christmas with them in Portland.”

 

“And your other option is?”

 

“Vancouver, with my family. It’s only like an hour flight so I think I might just try both. Spend New Year’s with Cat and Christmas with my family.” He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. “Nothing’s in stone yet though, so, you know, Jade doesn’t have to know…”

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her.” She feels like one in hundred in her school hoodie, blending in as she walks with Beck. “She's out at volleyball tryouts.”

 

“Oh, you have to see this girl play. She is downright vicious. The fact that they even make her tryout is a joke, she always makes it as the swing so they can send her in whenever they want.” He places a hand on her shoulder and leads her through a doorway towards the gymnasium. “Come on, the tryouts are open.”

 

“I’m not going to stalk my roommate,” she states, pulling him to a stop.

 

Beck laughs a little. “Who’s stalking anyone? They’re open for everyone to watch. A lot of people go.”

 

“I just don’t want to upset Jade.”

 

“I guarantee you,” he starts, pointing a finger at her and then at the doorway, “that everyone you eat lunch with is in the gym right now.”

 

“What are the odds?” Tori asks.

 

“Two-to-one. The currency will be cups of coffee.” He proceeds to lead her back into the gym, smiling as they spot Robbie, Cat and André amongst the first few rows of seating next to the court. They sit directly behind them, asking about the tryouts so far.

 

“I think Jade spiked a ball so hard that one of the other girls sprained her wrist trying to return it,” André says matter-of-factly as he leans back against the step behind him, pointing out the subject in question on the other side of the court, just getting ready to serve.

 

Jade spins the ball twice and bounces it once before she takes a step and roughly hits the synthetic-leather black and red ball across the court, directing it to a space left open by the other side’s defense. It hits the floor of the gym with a sharp smack and the whistle blows, causing all the players to switch their spots. Another player takes her turn serving, choosing to go underhand instead. The serve is easily bounced back and Jade receives it, setting it up so another player could return it with an overhand hit.

 

The tryouts go on for what seems like hours, though there seem to be a lot of girls who want to be on the team – girls with tattoos and green hair and holes where piercings usually sit. The group stays until four before they decide to duck out and get dinner. Trina joins them, taking it as her and Tori’s bonding time while she shamelessly flirts with Beck. Cat sits next to him, oblivious, but Tori constantly nudges her sister in the ribs under the table.

 

She returns to her room with just enough time to change before Jade walks through the door, looking exhausted and smelling like a fresh shower. She drops her bag and kicks her shoes off in one fluid moment before she collapses on the bed. Tori laughs from her spot at her desk.

 

“Make the team?”

 

“Duh,” Jade replies, but it comes out more like a groan. Her eyes are closed and her hair is damp and her face is clean and Tori smiles because she can’t help thinking how ridiculously pretty the girl across the room from her is.

 

It gives her the fuel to stand and walk over to the bed, carefully climbing on and earning the curious gaze from the blue eyes below her.

 

“Take off your hoodie,” she commands as she settles over Jade’s hips. Jade obeys, surprising Tori with the sight of nothing but bare skin as she does. It makes it easier for her, though, to move her hands along Jade’s back.

 

“I guess you’ve had a hundred massages,” Jade comments with a sigh.

 

“Three dozen, tops.” Jade smiles but doesn’t make much noise as Tori’s fingers press into the tight muscles stretched under porcelain skin. “You were amazing.”

 

“It was nice that you came,” she attempts vainly, voice ending in a yawn. Jade eventually opens her eyes again to turn her head to the side and look up at her. “Think about your feelings or what?”

 

“You’re so romantic.”

 

“You were the one willing to go all the way the night after our first kiss.”

 

“No fair, you baited with second base.” Again she earns a smile from Jade, turning into more of a smirk as she gives a small laugh. “Well, you did.”

 

“I did,” she agrees. “You didn’t answer my question.”

 

Tori bides her time as the heel of her hands roll against Jade’s shoulders. “I thought about you all day.”

 

“You didn’t answer my question,” she parrots wearily, occasionally rolling her muscles back and resettling in her spot.

 

“Do you think we skipped too many steps? I mean, seeing that we live together and all. It must be hard to change rooms if something happens-”

 

“It’s surprisingly easy, actually.”

 

“ _Anyway_ , I feel like… maybe I shouldn’t have… let it go that far. Or maybe we just shouldn’t let it go further, because I actually don’t mind where we were at-”

 

“I miss when you were shy and quiet.”

 

Tori flicks Jade’s shoulder and moves her hands down to rub soothing circles along her spine. She actually likes this, even if her hands are tired. She likes making someone else feel better. “I don’t know what this is. I want to see. There are my feelings, you pain in the ass.”

 

Jade chuckles quietly against her bedspread, reaching back to pat Tori’s thigh until she relents and sits back against the wall as Jade promptly puts her sweater back on, turning to face Tori when she resituates on the bed.

 

“I’m really tired and want to watch something that won’t make me think until I fall asleep.”

 

Tori smiles and springs off the bed to get her laptop as Jade pulls back the covers. When Tori returns it’s with both her computer and her pillow, having had to settle for a corner of Jade’s the previous evening. They set up, barely propped up as they bicker about which loved childhood show should be picked, eventually settling on _The Powerpuff Girls_.

  
Jade makes it through about three episodes before her head falls on Tori’s shoulder. Tori just smiles and closes her laptop, stretching to place it on Jade’s desk before she lies back down.

 

* * *

 

It gets colder than Tori would have thought in November. While there's no snow where they are, there is occasionally fog and many overcast days. There’s a dampness in the air that settles in, unlike the brisk, frigid days of November in New York. Basketball tryouts prove to be just as rigorous as Jade’s volleyball one, but Tori makes the team. She doubts she’ll be a starting player, but she can keep up enough with the good players that the coach gives her a pass.

 

It opens her up to a whole new group of friends, her teammates now becoming close allies during the brutal drills they ran during practice. Tori was a good player, but in shape she was not. She asks for Jade’s help in increasing her endurance, but the plan soon backfires shortly into their first attempt at a jog.

 

“Jesus, you’re coughing like a chainsmoker.”

 

“Shut up,” Tori gasps, holding herself steady by placing a hand against a great redwood. “People were not meant to run like this. It’s why we began settling in cities. It’s the exact reason why.”

 

Jade’s still bouncing back and forth on the balls on her feet, trying to keep her pace up, but she manages to roll her eyes all the same. “Come on. If we get far enough away from campus, I’ll reward you.”

 

She sets off before Tori can ask what that reward is, and she finds herself stumbling through the trees at a somewhat brisk pace, always managing to keep Jade in view. They come to a stop in front of the wall that encircled the campus, Jade leaning back against the wall as if she was sitting in a chair, choosing to continue to increase her endurance and stamina while Tori chooses to lay out flat on the grass.

 

“I hate you… so goddamn much…”

 

“You asked me to take you on a run.”

 

“How are you still standing? This campus… is so fucking big…” Tori drops her hand on top of her rapidly beating chest, feeling it hammer back against her ribs. “I hate you.”

 

“Feeling’s mutual, remember?”

 

“Shut up… devil child…” Jade laughs and Tori opens her eyes again, squinting against the bright gray sky to look at her. “You promised me a reward.”

 

“You have to come get it, starlet.”

 

“Well, never you mind then.”

 

Again, Jade laughs, loudly and clearly hidden amongst the trees. The sounds of the school are a distant echo from here, with the sounds of the city even fainter to their west. The raven-haired girl pushes off the wall and moves to straddle Tori, bending down to kiss her she pins the actress back against the grass.

 

“Maybe it would have been worth it,” Tori admits between kisses, pushing Jade’s cascading hair back and keeping her grip tight on the other girl’s head so she doesn’t pull away. On the contrary, Jade seems perfectly set on staying where she was, she smiles against Tori’s mouth when she brings her thighs up to wrap around her waist. This time she doesn’t pull back.

 

Jade rocks against her and Tori responds with a gasp against her lips, pressing back and reaching for more kisses than Jade seems to be willing to give. She finds her hands being grabbed and held down above her head as Jade slowly begins to stop.

 

“Is this going too fast?” she asks quietly, hands grasping Tori’s tightly in response to the grip the Latina had on hers.

 

“Shut up,” she breathes as she steals one kiss and Jade resumes her motions. It’s annoyingly hot, the feel of her bare legs against Tori’s in their running shorts as she rolls against her. Eventually she gives up her quest for Jade’s mouth and allows her head to fall back against the soft ground, hair guarded by the hood pulled over her head.

 

“No one can hear us you know,” Jade reminds her, lips warm against Tori’s earlobe. Tori’s breath catches in her throat for a moment, but she has nothing else to respond with except to squeeze Jade’s hips with her thighs and gasp in the cold Californian air.

 

“Not a screamer then?” Jade asks. Tori’s response is a mixture between a quiet grunt and a nearly silent groan. “Well then…”

 

She’s up and off Tori before Tori can blink, bounding through the small forest of trees to the wide-open field. Tori doesn’t follow, not immediately, not until she catches her breath and she hears Jade yelling her name from the clearing. She wills her sore and painfully turned on body to move, walking through the trees at the fastest pace her legs would allow.

 

Jade is bouncing on her feet again but relents when Tori finally appears, her expression somewhat similar to a cat preening in a windowsill. They walk across the large field and past the track/football field.

 

“We should go to a game. It must be ending soon. Why haven’t we gone?” Tori asks, throwing an arm over Jade’s shoulder as they pass the stands.

 

“Because they’re super lame? Our girls kick ass at sports, but there aren’t a ton of big, burly guys who want to be actors or singers or musicians. Our team doesn’t have a lot of brawn.”

 

“But does it have heart?” Tori asks dramatically as they step into the locker room and head to their lockers, Jade shoving Tori in response to her ridiculous question. They gather their things and head to the weird circular shower stalls. Both girls throw their clothes over the red barriers between them.

 

“Let’s go,” Tori tries again as she adjusts the temperature of her water, reaching for the body wash in her small shower caddy. She hates feeling sweaty. And she has to send away for more body wash.

 

“If you want to,” Jade replies drolly from her stall to Tori’s right. “I’ll ask Beck to pick up some tickets.”

 

“Why Beck?”

 

“Because the twenty year-old who runs the ticket booth to our various sporting events and acts has a major crush on him and always gives him good seats for cheap.”

 

“He’s cute,” Tori offers weakly.

 

“Work with what you’ve got.” Jade doesn’t linger in the shower like Tori, turning off her taps quickly, gathering her things and exiting the stall while wrapped in a red towel.

 

Tori remains in for another five minutes, her sore muscles aching for the water, but she relents and walks into the locker room, pausing briefly when she sees Jade sitting on the bench in front of her locker, lazily running the towel through her hair.

 

“What was it like when you got the part?” she asks out of nowhere as Tori approaches.

 

“It feels like forever ago,” Tori says somewhat wistfully as she pulls out her clothes, sitting on the bench next to Jade so she can awkwardly redress without removing her towel. “I remember this feeling… it wasn’t when I got the news, but the first time I walked on to the set, ready to film a scene. All I had to do was eat cereal and say, ‘Bye, dad!’ and the whole thing only took us two takes. But the moment I stepped onto that fake kitchen floor, I was just… elated.”

 

Jade looks over at her thoughtfully, saving Tori the trouble after she gets her underwear on and is trying to find a way to stealthily put on her bra. Jade tugs the knot holding the ends of her towel together and it falls around Tori’s hips. She kisses Tori’s shoulder before pulling back and searching through her bag for her phone.

 

When they eventually leave for the comfort of their room Jade and Tori are bombarded by Cat, who quite literally jumps out from behind a tree to surprise them. She follows them to their room, chattering away and insisting they watch an advanced copy she got of some new thriller movie. Tori likes the idea, but she would like a nap more.

 

Nevertheless, they set up the wall by Jade’s bed with pillows and blankets, setting the laptop on the nightstand once they remove what’s on it. Jade sits in the middle under the blanket, somewhat keeping the conversation with Cat going as they settle down.

 

Tori leans against Jade’s shoulder, almost ready to fall asleep until the startling first scene opens with a gruesome murder at an orphanage, more than grabbing her horrified attention. Jade looks as surprised as she feels, but she’s definitely enjoying the fake massacre while Cat talks about how her brother got this from one of his famous ‘clients’.

 

In the end, the chief of police did it and Tori saw about as many dead bodies as she has in every episode of _Law and Order: SVU_ reruns. Cat almost literally bounces out of the room after she ejects the disc, announcing she was going to go watch it with Robbie and André now and give away the ending right before it’s revealed.

 

Tori sits up from her position just to pull Jade back down to the bed with her, lying vertically on the bed, their foreheads pressed together. Jade smiles and pushes Tori’s hair back, tucking it behind her ear.

 

“What was it like being on _Inside the Actor’s Studio_?”

 

“Crazy. I couldn’t have done it if it wasn’t the whole cast. It was cool though.”

 

“I was surprised to find out your favorite swear word is cocksucker.”

 

“It just feels so satisfying to say.” Jade kisses her, and it’s in these moments that Tori gets to see the real side of her; the way she’ll possessively grab Tori’s chin at first just to then dance down her arm and squeeze Tori’s hand. “You’re so gorgeous, you know that?”

 

“I do, actually.” Jade reaches up to play with the ends of Tori’s hair. “There’s a bar in town, you know.”

 

“I didn’t. How would I know that?”

 

“I don’t know, I assumed you had opened your eyes upon one of your many, many visits to town, silly me, I know.” She grabs Tori’s chin once again, her own face a mixture of cold flirtation. “You’re coming with me and the team.” Her thumb flicks against Tori’s lower lip. “Just so you know.”

 

“Thanks for the heads-up.” Jade stares at her, one of those deep penetrating gazes that makes Tori feel naked. She’s used to it, though, the gazes of hundreds of nameless cameramen on a red carpet line-up. “I’m really happy.”

 

“Are you?”

 

“I am.” She smiles as Jade’s hand falls between them so she can grab it.

 

* * *

 

In a town where the main attraction is a high school, the crappy dive bar has learned to stop carding. They’re in a booth at the back of the room, so far back and out of the way that they’re hidden from the entrance. Tori orders what Jade does and tries not to feel uncomfortable around the half-dozen other girls sitting with them.

 

Jade doesn’t appear to be that much more social, despite the fact that each girl on the team seeming desperate for approval. As the girls eventually slowly dispense throughout the bar, meeting with other students or going to dance on the poor excuse for a floor set up in the corner, she seems to become more relaxed, slowing on her drink consumption and talking more openly.

 

“There’s three guys at the other table staring at us,” Jade states matter-of-factly, spinning her drink in her cup and shaking her head at the passing waiter who was taking their orders. “How much do you want to bet that they’re trying to work up on a pick-up line special for you?”

 

“Please tell me you’re joking.” Tori doesn’t look at the guys in question for fear of seeming inviting. “Scare them away with your wonderful powers of biting sarcasm and total aversion of the human race.”

 

“Well, now that you’ve hurt my feelings, I’m going to wave them over.” She does before Tori can make a grab for her arm, causing the Latina to groan at the arrival of shadows at their table. She looks up at the two guys who have approached them, both very cute despite the leers. “Didn’t your mothers teach you that it's impolite to stare?”

 

“Can’t help it, Jenny de Luca pulled the ‘trigger’ on my heart.” Tori stifles a groan at pun as Jade jabs her side. “Can we join you?”

 

“And why would we let you do a thing like that? Want an Instagram photo with a TV star to impress your twenty followers?” Jade’s hand drops to Tori’s bare thigh and the brunette freezes. “Jenny de Luca’s pretty busy, if you can’t tell.”

 

The boys lean on the table instead, and the brave one, the one who actually speaks to Jade, smiles. “Just wanted to see if HBO’s latest jailbait was interested in talking.”

 

“Oh, she is. She does it all the time.” Tori hates that she chose a dress, feeling as if Jade had insisted upon it for this very purpose, to slide along the inside of her thigh undetected under the table. “It’s been a big hobby of hers since she was a kid.”

 

“What about you, ice princess? Need some material for a new play about a murderous volleyball star who’s out to get her one night stands?”

 

Tori would actually be somewhat surprised and humored by the joke if she hadn’t been squirming in her seat and biting her cheeks to keep from making a sound as the result of the hand that’s made it to the apex of her thighs.

 

“Not tonight. Maybe I’ll take Jenny de Luca home and see if it doesn’t inspire some Sapphic poetry.” The guy laughs a little at Jade’s reply while Tori’s hands grip the vinyl cushion in their booth. She wants to tell Jade to stop, swiftly kick her under the table until she relents and removes her hand, but she can’t when Jade’s palm is pressed against her like it is.

 

“We have to go,” she announces in a strained voice, clearing her throat and digging her nails in as Jade smirks and presses harder. “It was nice meeting you.”

 

She doesn’t know why Jade chose her mother’s house, when they easily could have gone back to their dorm for privacy, or better yet, Jade’s father’s unfilled home, but she’s being pressed against the screen door and she can’t find the words to express such thoughts when Jade is kissing her like she is. Despite their stumbling through the doors and halls, Jade’s family remains asleep as they eventually make their way to Jade’s attic room. Tori pushes her through the curtains at the far end and pulls her down to the large mattress on the floor.

 

“You’re rushing things,” Jade reminds against Tori’s lips.

 

“You’re a tease,” Tori accuses in reply, but she allows herself to be pinned down against the bed as Jade flips them over. Jade proves herself to be less of a tease as her teeth take careful bites at Tori’s neck and her hands move up her stomach underneath her shirt.

 

She doesn’t touch her though, instead Jade relinquishes her hold on Tori’s hands as she settles in, just to catch her right one again when she’s pressed against Tori’s side. Tori tries to roll over to mirror her position, but finds herself being held back.

 

“You’re not fair,” she breathes in frustration. Jade only smirks in response, waiting a moment before kissing Tori again, slowly and without restraint as she forces Tori’s hand to then end of her dress, guiding it up her thigh on the same path she had taken earlier that night. “That’s not going to work.”

 

“And why not?” Jade asks, only releasing Tori’s lips after her teeth have raked across it. She presses Tori’s palm to the heat Tori can feel through her underwear, and despite her shaky breath, she replies.

 

“It just doesn’t work when I do it.”

 

“Quitter.” Jade kisses her again, moving their hands to the top of Tori’s underwear and sliding beneath it. She seems pleased by Tori’s reactionary gasp and begins to move her hand in small circles, kissing her softly as Tori’s eyebrows furrow – her wrist goes limp as she allows Jade to move it.

 

“Is it working?” Jade breathes against her ear.

 

“Shut up,” Tori breathes, her voice catching in a whimper.

 

Jade’s tongue licks at her top lip as she moves in small, quick circles, laughing quietly whenever Tori’s legs twitch in response. Her hand leaves Tori’s, but before she can protest it’s groping at the front of her shirt as Jade moves her mouth to her neck, leaving hot, heady kisses down to her collar.

 

“Don’t stop,” Jade instructs, surely leaving a mark at the spot her lips have chosen. “I think it’s working.”

 

“Shut up,” she repeats, her hand moving even more rapidly without Jade’s control. Jade chuckles against her shoulder but moves her mouth down the front of her shirt.

 

“Is it working?” Jade asks again, this time biting at a pert nipple through the fabrics of her dress and bra. Tori whimpers, her free hand flying up to the back of Jade’s head, tangling her fingers in her soft, black hair. It surprises her, when the coil being tightly wound in her lower stomach snaps without warning.

 

“Jesus Christ,” she gasps as the heat floods her body, her hand falling limply to the bed. Jade kisses the underside of her jaw, her hand sliding across Tori’s twitching stomach, smoothing out the material of the dress. “Jesus cocksucking Christ.”

 

Jade laughs against her skin and then rolls away suddenly, leaving Tori feeling cold and bare. “Want a cigarette?”

 

“I can barely breathe.”

 

“Well, I do,” she announces as she pulls out an old pack of Marlboros from her makeshift end table. Jade walks unevenly across the bed again to open the large window that allowed the light to flow in. Tori closes her eyes at the feeling of the cold November air filtering in but opens them again to stare up at the girl.

 

“What are you?”

 

“A Leo.” Tori smiles and rolls over so she can paw at the zipper on her back, eventually pulling it down so she can free herself from it. “Careful. There might be paparazzi in the window.”

 

“If there are, they just got a pretty good show, I think.” It’s Jade’s turn to smile, but she doesn’t say anything, only takes another drag. “What was the girl you were with before like?”

 

“Asking about exes? Rushing.”

 

“Please, we’ve already discussed them. Well, mine. And Beck.”

 

“Just a mood killer, then?” Tori bundles up her dress and throws it at her before climbing under one of the blankets. Jade waits until her cigarette has burnt down to the filter before pressing it out in the ashtray on the ledge and closing the window, stripping herself to her underwear before she joins Tori. “She was blonde.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Mhmm,” Jade replies as she falls back against her pillow. She brushes her hair back out of her eyes before letting out a breath. “That’s about it. Blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty – the works.”

 

“That’s barely anything,” Tori whines as she turns to face her counterpart.

 

Jade smiles and seems to contemplate how to say her next words. “She was… gorgeous. A senior when I was a sophomore. Her family was Italian but she grew up in Britain. Accents.”

 

“And you seduced this glorious blonde from across the pond?”

 

“You should help André with his lyrics. That was impressive.”

 

“I think you’re avoiding the question. I’ve never known Jade West to be afraid of anything.”

 

“You’ve only known me for a month and a half,” Jade fires back, but she’s frowning in a way that implies that she’s thinking. “She seduced me, if you must know. At that little bar we went to. It was right after Beck.”

 

“Did you bring her home too?”

 

“No.” Tori feels somewhat relieved, like this curtained-off partition is her space with Jade that no one else can touch. “We went back to my room. I was still living with Cat then, but she was mysteriously absent that night. I bet I can guess why.”

 

Tori wants to slide over and kiss her, but something holds her back. “Did you like her?”

 

“Cat? I’m still kind of fond of her actually.”

 

“No, your mystery blonde.”

 

“I know who you meant, starlet.” Jade sighs loudly and settles on a look of disinterest. “It was a one-time thing. She left, time went by, and she graduated. I only saw her on campus a few times after it happened.”

 

Tori finally gives in and moves closer to Jade, settling her head so it rested by her shoulder. “So you’re all mine?”

 

“For now.”

 

“I’ll take it.”

 

“Why?” Jade asks as she rolls her head over to look at Tori. “You’re aware you could have anyone you want, right? Not just your roommate?”

 

“I could scour the campus,” Tori muses, her hand reaching for Jade’s left, resting her arm on Jade’s stomach. “But I found you. And you… well, I may owe you a life debt after tonight.”

 

“If I figure out a way for you to pay me back, I’ll tell you.”


	3. Part Three

“ _There’s bound to be talk tomorrow_ ,” Jade adds.

 

“ _Think of my lifelong sorrow_ -” André starts.

 

“ _At least there’ll be plenty implied_.”

 

“– _if you caught pneumonia and died_ ,” he continues.

 

“ _I really can’t stay_ -”

 

“ _Get over that hold out_.”

 

“ _Oh, baby it’s cold outside,_ ” they finish together, earning applause from the crowd and eventually whistles when André stands from the piano and bows with Jade, helping her step off the platform that was the stage as the next act prepares.

 

Tori’s eyes remain on the two even as an alumni member spoke to her. She feels uncomfortable in the dress her mother brought, not having worn it for more than a year. It’s a beautiful ivory color that Tori loves because it brings out her skin tone so much, but she seems to be the only one in white and it makes her feel like she’s sticking out more than she already is.

 

“So I hear you still have a basketball game before the end of the year. Word is you’ve become an impressive point guard.”

 

“Well, all the credit goes to Miss Francon. She’s a great coach,” she adds lamely as she finally returns her gaze.

 

“Any projects lined up?”

 

“Well,” her father interjects from her side, “she’s got quite a few offers. Dex Lawson wants her to come in for an audition during the break, but she’s holding out on her answer.”

 

“Can’t blame her for weighing out her options,” the nameless alumni member replies. He nods towards one of the parents of a student Tori recognizes from her Music class and politely excuses himself. Before Tori can begin reprimanding her father, André steps in to fill his place with Jade, who is dressed in a deep teal that matches her eyes, on his arm.

 

“Dad, this is André and you remember my roommate Jade.” There’s something about the permanent smirk on Jade’s face that sets Tori on edge. “This is my father, David Vega.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” André says. “I looked you up online when I met Tori, you manage a pretty impressive client list.”

 

“Well, Tori’s at the top of it.” Tori groans and Jade’s smirk grows. “But she’s resisting.”

 

“Well, I’d hate to see her go. It’s been great having her at school, especially for Music. She’s got a fantastic voice.”

 

Tori’s father glances nervously at Jade, who is apparently putting him off kilter as well. “So does… Miss West, is it? You two were great up there.”

 

“Thank you,” Jade says simply before glancing to her right and tugging on André’s arm. They leave with a smile and Tori deflates.

 

“When are you going to give up on this audition thing? I’ve been saying no for a month. I said it directly to Mr. Lawson’s face… you know, on Skype.” She sighs and rubs her arms, trying to keep Jade in her peripheral vision.

 

“Just go to the audition,” he insists, lowering his voice as he spots his wife moving in on them. “You can say no if you get it. That’s not even a guarantee, he’s just doing me a favor.”

 

“Gee, thanks,” Tori sighs, bringing the smile back to her face as her mother arrives. “Meet any helicopter moms?”

 

“I’d call them drone moms,” her mother replies, leaning on her husband. She squints and looks around the crowd. “Have you seen your sister anywhere? I’m regretting telling her about this at all.”

 

“I think she’s backstage trying to get the stage manager to slip her in so she can do her acapella rendition of _Lucy in the Sky_.” She spots Jade suddenly, staring at her with a focused gaze as she leans back against the door to the hall. Before Tori can blink, Jade slips through it and into the dark hall. “Can I meet up with you guys? I think I see a friend.”

 

When she closes the door behind her, she’s left in darkness until her eyes adjust with help from the few windows down the hall. She walks carefully in her long-unused heels, each step echoing through the halls. To her right she hears a spark lighter clicking twice before the distant sound of a flame is heard. Tori follows it, leaning against the partially opened door when she arrives and laughing as she watches Jade light a joint with a Bunsen burner.

 

“If it isn’t the belle of the ball,” she remarks, motioning for Tori to close the door behind her. Tori does and steps forward until she’s standing next to her, taking the joint from her.

 

“Don’t remind me,” she says with a strained voice after she blows out the smoke. “Helen practically had them take numbers to talk to me. They’re all _huge_ fans. And she’s clearly hitting each one up for as much as they’ve got.”

 

“Can’t blame her. Those towels in the locker room don’t come from trees you know.” Jade takes it back so she can have a hit before she flicks the ashes into a nearby sink. “You look gorgeous.”

 

Tori blushes in the darkness, now thankful for the lack of light in the small room. Jade is never cruel to her, never quite as biting or sarcastic as she is with other people, but any compliments or moments of intimacy seem to come from out of nowhere. Not that Tori minds.

 

“So do you. I don’t know how you found a dress that matches your eyes so well.” She leans forward to steal a kiss, shot-gunning the smoke that was in Jade’s mouth before blowing it away from them. She reaches for Jade’s left hand with her own, pulling her closer. “You were amazing up there. I’m glad you’re here tonight.”

 

Jade sets the small cigarette down on the edge of the sink and steps towards Tori, kissing hotly in the drafty chemistry room. Tori grabs the back of her head, pulling away for a breath and to speak.

 

“I missed you last night. Sleeping at the hotel, with Trina in the other bed… so brutal.” She kisses Jade in between every other word, allowing herself to be pinned back against the counter. “I missed you. You have to come to LA over the break, I’ll go crazy if you don’t.”

 

“Remind me about the Hollywood perks I’d receive,” Jade breathes against her lips, moving down to her neck as her hands hiked up Tori’s dress.

 

“We’ll go to a house party with Brittany Snow. She was my dad’s girlfriend-on-the-side on _Trigger_.” Her grip curls around the edge of the counter as Jade’s hands reach the hem of her underwear. “We’ll stay at my parent’s beach place, so you’ll wake up to the ocean every day.  We’ll even get a few days to ourselves in January, just you… and me…”

 

Jade’s pressing two fingers into her, and it’s not romantic or sweet, but it’s their first time and Tori’s groaning into Jade’s hair all the same. She seeks out her lips, rocking her hips in time with Jade’s hand, the dark-haired girl playing sweet and fast with her kisses. She seems to like hearing the gasps and groans, despite the fact that there was a banquet happening down the hall from them.

 

Tori moves her hands so they can dig into her shoulders, but Jade doesn’t make a sound in return, only angles her hand in a way that’s slowly driving Tori insane. She gasps pleas for Jade to not stop or to hurry up in between chaste kisses she presses to Jade’s lips.  Jade listens to the first but her pace slows until she’s grinding against Tori, dragging each whimper out painfully from the other girl’s lungs while Tori’s face brushed along Jade’s, surely smearing her makeup.

 

Jade uses her free hand to pull Tori’s head back, until they’re forehead to forehead again, lips brushing over Tori’s chin as she pulls her hair until she receives Tori’s hooded gaze. Tori can barely keep it up, barely keep her grasp from ruining her nails with blood, barely keep her voice to a decibel that won’t arouse suspicion, barely keep her knees from buckling as Jade’s perfume invades every breath she takes. But Jade’s showing mercy, is moving faster and harder, though she keeps her lips away.

 

Her scream comes in the form of a strained gasp, legs giving way as she leans on Jade for support. Jade wipes her hand on Tori’s thigh before it joins her other, wrapping around her waist. Tori can feel her smiling against her jaw, but Jade remains silent until Tori can stand on her own, helping her smooth out the ivory fabric.

 

“Come away with me. For New Years. I’ll buy your ticket,” she whispers after kisses Jade, arms loose around her shoulders.

 

“I’ll think about it. Maybe if you win the game on Monday I’ll offer some guarantees.”

 

Tori laughs and looks around in the dark. “You don’t play fair. Get that burner going again, I don’t think I can go back out there and face the crowd after this without a pick-me-up.”

 

* * *

  

For whatever reason, Miss Francon seems to think Tori is able to play against girls who have done it competitively for years. So she finds herself dribbling up the court and calling out plays as the fourth quarter winds down and the sweat burns her eyes. She hates that she looked for her friends and family before the game started because now she can’t help but notice them out of the corner of her eyes every time she moves.

 

They have ten seconds left and the defense is pushing back her forwards, both the center and guard being ably blocked by their counterparts, while Tori’s remains set in the middle, ready to stop any pass that she tries to make. She can see the shot clock running down the moment she steps over the center line, more time on it than the actual scoreboard which shows them to be down by one with ten seconds ticking away.

 

Tori stops a few feet away from the key, ball still bouncing in her hand as she weighs her options. Without thinking she takes the shot as the scoreboard hits five seconds, astounded as it sails through the net without a problem. The crowd erupts; drowning out the buzzer, and Tori soon finds herself being lifted by her waist by her teammates, with even Miss Francon smiling from the sidelines.

 

After she showers she meets up with her family, who insist on taking who's left of her friends on campus (Jade, André and Robbie) out to dinner with them. André is headed back to Philadelphia before the end of the week and Robbie is taking a bus to San Francisco to his aunt’s for the holidays.

 

Tori informs them all of Jade’s new plans as they wait for the dessert she didn’t want to order, earning a surprised look from André, a sigh from her father, and a smirk from Jade. That evening she insists on going back to her dorm even though they have an early flight – she promises to catch the first shuttle from the school and disappears through the doors, following Jade to the elevator.

 

She collapses onto her bed, pulling Jade over top of her by her wrists. “You _did_ say there would be a guarantee if I won the game.”

 

“And you did. Literally.” Jade leans over her on her elbows, resting her nose on Tori’s chin and looking up at her, her weight comfortable and warm on top of Tori. “Will you be flying back with me?”

 

“Yes. Trina as well, unfortunately. But if I spring for her to be upgraded with us, it’ll just be two seats to a row in first class.”

 

“You better spring for first class. Do you think I’m some cheap floozy who flies coach?” Tori laughs and accepts the kiss Jade gives her before pushing off. Jade starts to undress, her back to Tori, whose muscles were protesting the very thought of moving. “Your dad didn’t seem all that excited.”

 

“That’s because he wants me to go to an audition. It’d be before you got there anyway.”

 

“So you’re going to do it?”

 

Tori sits up, groaning quietly at the pain. “No. I don’t think so. What do you think I should do?”

 

“I’m not your agent, Tori.”

 

“You’re smarter than my agent. She struggles with transferring calls on a phone she’s had for four years.” Jade laughs but shakes her head, pulling on pajama bottoms. “I want to know your opinion.”

 

“I think you should do whatever you want.” Jade does her a favor by rising from her bed and climbing into Tori’s, saving her the long trip across the room. It’s a rare day that Jade’s head ends up on Tori’s shoulder, but Tori doesn’t care, she’s been half asleep since the ride home. “But I think you fit in here.”

 

* * *

 

Tori looks through the small bit of the script she received the moment she stepped through her front door, currently seated outside a soundstage. She’s alone in the hall, which means it’s definitely not an open call by any sorts, and that they’re giving their actresses a fair amount of time with the screen test. Which was good. Or bad.

 

She sighs and is about to take out her phone when the door opens, a mousy haired boy who couldn’t be more than two years older than her ushering Tori inside. She waves at the panel of people she already knows – Dex, the writer and director, and two people from the studio she recognizes. There are two stools set up in front of the camera, one already occupied by a handsome guy she knows from _something_.

 

“Danny,” he says as she approaches, a production assistant coming up to test the lighting for the camera as she reaches her own stool.

 

“Tori, it’s nice to meet you. I watch your show every week.” _Whatever it is._ “Ready to pretend to be in love?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

* * *

 

Tori’s thankful to be relatively unknown enough that she doesn’t get hassled by photographers as she approaches the departure gate. She’s pretty sure she heard that one of the Olsen twins was in another terminal, which leaves hers relatively unmolested. Jade walks down the escalator like she was born in LA, hat and sunglasses preventing even Tori from recognizing her at once. But the lavender streak has her set apart from the businessmen and tourists bustling around her.

 

Tori smiles and weaves through the crowd, taking the duffel bag Jade has slung over her shoulder before hugging the other girl.

 

“Trina. All week. You have no idea how badly I’ve been dying for some real company.”

 

“So appreciative you’ll let me drive that Benz of yours?” Jade asks as she rotates her shoulder when the weight is lifted. Tori laughs and they begin walking, the Latina tossing over the keys as they step into the sun. Jade at least knows Los Angeles a little and the GPS does the rest, so they get to spend the ride talking.

 

When they pull up to the beach house, Jade lets out a low whistle. She puts the car into park and presses the button for the ignition to shut off.

 

“So who paid for this, you or your dad?”

 

“My dad, thank you. All my money is in savings and bonds and stuff. Except for the tuition for school and my credit card, I haven’t touched it much.” She reaches over Jade to press the trunk button, kissing her cheek before she pulls back. “Come on, we’re ordering the best pizza for dinner.”

 

* * *

 

They come home from the promised party at Brittany Snow’s house just as the sky begins to lighten, stumbling out of the car in a fit of laughter. Tori’s worse off than Jade, who thankfully still has the dexterity to work keys and locks, practically dragging the other girl to her ocean view bedroom. Tori has her own corner balcony on the house, facing the west. It lets in an obscene amount of light but Jade doesn’t particularly seem interested in sleeping anyway.

 

Tori pins her hands next to her head, laughing and kissing the dark haired girl.

 

“You were a practical Hollywood schmoozer, the way you handled those people,” she bites Jade’s earlobe, her knee forcing itself between Jade’s thighs, causing her skirt to ride up her legs. “I think you have a real future, young lady.”

 

“Shut up,” Jade replies, hips shifting against Tori’s thigh. Her voice is low and breathy, hands no longer struggling for control.

 

Tori smiles and kisses Jade’s jaw, pressing her knee a little higher, causing an unexpected gasp to slip past her lips. “Do you ever think about me, Jade?”

 

“Shut up,” Jade repeats with much less bite, head falling back against the mattress as she rocks her hips up. Tori laughs, pressing her flushed cheek against Jade’s neck. She hums quietly but continues her movements.

 

“Sometimes I think I catch you,” she whispers, her voice breaking into a laugh more than once. “When you’re staring off in class… sometimes this cute pink blush comes up from your neck and covers your cheeks. It’d be adorable if it weren’t hot.”

 

“You don’t know when… to shut up.” Jade digs her nails into Tori’s hips, daring them to stop their movement.

 

“ _Thinking about you, thinking  ‘bout me_ ,” Tori singsongs, voice breaking once again. Jade’s panting though, and no matter how drunk she is she can’t help but love seeing Jade powerless underneath her. She’s biting her lip and occasionally letting out these low whimpers, nails leaving crescent moons along Tori’s sides.

 

“More,” Jade states, a demand hidden under a gasp. Tori obeys without teasing further, now pressing kisses along Jade’s jaw and chin and lips. The sun is starting to reflect off the water, filling the room with an orange-pink glow and reminding Tori that people would be awake soon. She doesn’t really know _what_ she’s doing, really, but Jade’s asking for more of whatever she’s offering.

 

Jade’s body freezes and she let’s out a high-pitched gasp, over and over again until she relaxes against the bed. Tori slumps down onto the bed, dropping her weight on Jade who laughs after she grunts. Her hands move down Tori’s shoulders to rest on her back, her breathing returning to normal.

 

“My god, ragdoll,” she breathes, lips brushing against the shell of Tori’s ear. “That was nice.”

 

“ _Nice_?” Tori lifts her head, tossing her hair back over one shoulder. “That’s it?”

 

“Since when is nice bad?” Jade asks in reply, running a hand through her long chestnut hair before kissing her chin. “Thank god you hit that three-pointer, huh?”

 

* * *

 

“God, Jade, I’ve never seen someone more in need of a tan in my life.”

 

“God, Trina, I’ve never seen someone more in need of talent in my life.”

 

Tori laughs from her towel, moving her sunglasses to the top of her head, eyes looking out at the beach they sat on. It isn’t warm, so tanning or going in the water were out of the question, but the sun is just bright enough that they can sit in their hoodies and shorts, listening to the waves. Why Trina had joined them is beyond her.

 

“Tori, let’s go to Rodeo.”

 

“Trina, you already owe me a debt that would pay for your first year of online courses at the University of Phoenix,” Jade laughs to her right, “there’s no way I’m taking you shopping. You cleaned me out at Christmas.”

 

“Well, at least tell me what you’re doing for New Year’s.” She let’s out some sort of ungodly banshee cry when Tori shrugs.

 

“Jesus, I don’t know, okay?” She slides her sunglasses back down as people look over their way. “What do you want to do, Jade?”

 

“We could have people over at my dad’s place,” she offers, earning the gaze of both the Vega sisters. “What?”

 

“Your dad’s not there and you’re just bringing this up now?” Trina asks in disbelief.

 

“Like I want you at my house.”

 

“ _Tori_.”

 

“Stop making that noise,” she hisses. “New Year’s will be fine. I’ll invite some people over. You can invite ten people you know from class. That’s all.”

 

“Thanks, Tori,” Jade says, lying back in the sun.

 

“It’s your fault for mentioning it in front of her,” Tori replies, mirroring her position. To her credit, the announcement at least got Trina out of their hair at the present time as she rushes off to call whoever she managed to get as friends. “At least there’s that. And I doubt she’ll be able to get a ton of people to want to spend the night with her.”

 

“What _do_ you want to do today?”

 

“I don’t know. Want to go sightseeing?”

 

Jade nods but makes no move to get up. “Hollywood and Vine, please.”

 

“Whose star do you want to see most?” Tori asks as she turns on her side to face Jade.

 

“Marilyn’s.” Jade taps her fingers against her stomach. “Also, The Simpsons’.”

 

They’re driving over within the hour, Jade flipping through her phone for songs to play on the Bluetooth. She looks relaxed in Tori’s car, the window down allowing the breeze to blow through her hair.

 

“I’m really happy you came,” she says over the music as she pulls up to a red light.

 

“Me too. We should get dinner after this and head by my dad’s place.”

 

“What’s he like? Your dad?”

 

Jade shrugs and blows a bubble as the light turns green, snapping the gum before it became too big. Her nails are tapping on the armrest at a beat different from the music. “He’s… very wrapped up in himself.”

 

“That’s too bad,” Tori attempts.

 

“Don’t bother, it’s not a big deal. My mom’s overcompensation beats it out.” Tori laughs a little. This was how Jade was honest, in snide comments or jokes. “He pays the tuition though, I’ve gotta give him that.”

 

“And where is he currently?”

 

“Last I checked his twenty-nine year-old wife’s Facebook, they were in Peru. Doing something with orphans or… something.” Jade shifts as they start to reach the center of Hollywood, the large sign announcing the Walk of Fame. “I’ve only been to his place once, on a long layover. My mom’s car broke down so he had to come get my brother and me for a while. We didn’t exactly have time to go sightseeing.”

 

“Well,” Tori says as she spies a car pulling out of its parking space, slipping in quickly before anyone else could claim it, “here we are.”

 

* * *

  

Jade’s father’s apartment has a large open kitchen and living room, with a tiny bedroom tucked against the back corner. There was a small guest bath with a laundry room on the other side in the short hallway. The balcony is larger than the bedroom, a large grill, a table, and a litter of different chairs filling up the space. Empty planters hung on the side and the inside was decorated to the bare minimum, though everything was nice.

 

Jade collapses onto the couch with the phone book. “Best Chinese food in West Hollywood?”

 

“Hmm,” Tori considers as she slips out of her Chucks. “Green Apple something? It’s worth the delivery price.”

 

Jade nods and begins dialing, tossing the remote to Tori while she looked at the menu on her phone. Tori stretches out on the loveseat, looking through the On Demand section for something good to watch.

 

“Wanna finish _Boardwalk Empire_?” she asks in a lull of Jade’s conversation. Jade nods and Tori sets up the episode they needed to watch. By the time the food arrives, they’ve finished one of the two they were behind on. They both sit at the couch with their plates on the coffee table as they get ready for the next.

 

“Beck hated watching like this. He prefers the occasional Family Guy episode, if that.”

 

“Such a waste,” Tori says, shaking her head. “TV is a godsend.”

 

“I can’t believe you got the role at your sister’s audition.”

 

“Quit bringing it up, _she_ hangs it over my head enough as it is.”

 

The night goes by without much comment, half of their order ending up in the fridge while they both lay out on the couch, Jade’s back pressed to Tori’s front, Tori’s chin resting on the top of Jade’s head. She can’t tell whether or not Jade’s awake from her position, and the episode goes by without either of them saying a word, but the second the credits start to air, Jade snatches the remote off the coffee table, now searching through the menu.

 

“There’s nothing on during the holidays,” she says tiredly.

 

“Life’s a bitch.” Jade kicks her. “What do you want to do?”

 

“I don’t know you’re the teen starlet. You’re supposed to be coked up and going to parties every night.” Jade turns to face her, shifting awkwardly on the small couch. “Give me some ideas.”

 

“If you want coke, I can get you coke. My gay ex-boyfriend’s always just a phone call away.”

 

“Sounds like an awkward threeway.”

 

“Ugh.”

 

“You’d really ask you ex-boyfriend to get you cocaine if I told you to?”

 

Tori shrugs and laughs. “Everything seems to work out pretty well with you. Why question your weird luck and confidence now?”

 

“So you think I’m weird?”

 

“Shut up, that doesn’t work on me anymore.” Jade smiles despite herself and Tori chuckles again. “I am at your command, Jade West.”

 

“The things I could do…”

 

* * *

  

New Year’s is spent with a group of about twenty people, five of Trina’s friends, two of Jade’s and a dozen or so people Tori knows in the city. Trina, in her skin-tight mini dress, is avoiding the balcony, where half of them are gathering. There’s no wind, but there’s a chill in the air coming from the ocean a few blocks away. Tori wraps her jean jacket tighter around her as she sits at the table, on a bench built for two leaning against Jade, who is doing the same with her own leather jacket.

 

There’s a small baggie of weed in the middle of the table, sitting in the upside down ball cap of the guy who brought it. The kid in question doesn’t seem to actually smoke the weed, just continually roll joints of varying sizes with what he’s brought with him. Jade’s friends are weird.

 

Trina was at least useful enough in procuring alcohol, two cases of beer and a couple dozen coolers lasting them well into the evening. She’s sitting with a boy from her own Drama class who is, for whatever reason, totally smitten with her and hanging on every word of what she’s babbling on about.

 

The countdown had been hours ago and as the night wears on Tori finds more excuses to touch Jade. Jade is currently sitting with her heels on the edge of her seat, holding both of Tori’s hands in her own, warming them. Occasionally she looks as if she’s gonna say something, but instead she turns her neck to discreetly kiss Tori on the crown of her head.

 

It’s the best New Year’s Tori’s ever had, and it lasts well into the next day, the six remaining survivors heading out for breakfast. After a night of joints and beer, bacon and eggs are perfect and the meal goes by without much being said – even Trina is too distracted and tired to try and talk.

 

At the news that there was no second bed, Trina gets in the cab with the two guys and girl who are headed across the city. Tori and Jade walk back to the apartment slowly, holding hands even though both of their borrowed sweaters fell well past their palms.

 

“God, I hope I left my jacket somewhere I can see it. I have no idea where it is. Like, none.”

 

Jade laughs and tugs her down the avenue towards the building. “I’m sure it’s on the deck – that and a bag of weed in a hat. Remind me to hide that. And to ask André if he likes the hat.”

 

* * *

  

Their flight doesn’t leave until seven, so they allow themselves to sleep in late the day of. Tori smiles when she opens her eyes to see Jade’s naked back with the ocean as a backdrop to her sleeping form. She slides her hand over the expanse of skin causing Jade to take a deep breath.

 

“It’s still early,” she mumbles through a sigh as Tori presses a kiss to her shoulder.

 

“We can spend the whole summer like this.” She stretches her arm over to grasp Jade’s hand. “And in a year, I’ll be eighteen and I’ll be able to get my own place. You can write and become famous and I can be a has-been actor who makes money producing direct-to-video Disney sequels.”

 

Jade laughs and turns on her back and faces her, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. “It’s good to have dreams.”

 

“I like to think so.” Tori pulls the hand she’s holding over and kisses the back of it. “What do you want to do today?”

 

“Well, I had been planning on sleeping in but some washed up star ruined the day.” Jade’s hand drops to the bed and she blinks her eyes slowly. “What do you want to do?”

 

“Nothing,” Tori whispers as someone passes in the hall, kissing the other girl’s shoulder with a smile.

 

* * *

  

The flight is delayed two hours due to a storm from where the plane is coming from.  Trina is stretched out along a row of benches, using her purse as a pillow. Jade was slurping whatever frappuccino she had ordered at Starbucks while Tori nursed her latte.

 

“How can you drink that? It’s freezing in here.”

 

“Cold drinks on cold days, ragdoll. Jolts your body into starting its heater.” Jade presses the straw to Tori’s lips, smiling when she obediently takes a drink. “I had a really nice time, you know.”

 

“I didn’t, you don’t dole out praise that often. But I’m glad you did.” Her phone starts vibrating in her pocket and she pulls it out, standing from her seat. She looks at the email from her, a smile breaking out on her face.

 

“Get a Bath & Body Works coupon?” Jade asks.

 

“No… Dex Lawson offered me the role.”

 

“ _We will now be boarding flight 2104 at Gate G21. We will be welcoming our first class and priority members, as well as anyone who will need extra time or assistance getting on the aircraft._ ”

 

“Finally,” Trina says, sitting up immediately and walking towards the counter, brushing past an elderly couple who were doing the same.

 

Jade remains in spot, however, looking up at Tori with her eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you weren’t going to the audition.”

 

“My dad strong-armed me into going,” she replies as she picks up her bag, searching through the side pocket for her passport and boarding pass. Tori smiles brightly and holds her hand out to Jade. “Come on, I wanna get settled.”

 

Jade stands without assistance, heading towards the man who was scanning the tickets. Tori blinks and follows her without a word, walking down the long terminal gate in silence. Jade remains quiet as they take their seats, Trina behind them with her headphones already on and music blaring as Tori slips on her seatbelt and pushes her bag under the chair in front of her.

 

“What’s the matter?” Tori asks quietly even though the bustle of people settling into their seats was more than loud enough to drown her voice out.

 

“Nothing,” Jade replies.

 

“Bullshit.” Jade shrugs and looks out the window. “So, I’ll miss the first half of next semester. It won’t be any different than this year.”

 

“So you _are_ taking the role?”

 

The flight crew interrupts her before she can respond, cutting her off effectively. She remains quiet until they’re well into the air, most people taking the short trip to nap or read.

 

“It’s a big part to pass up,” Tori admits quietly after more than a half an hour of silence. Jade is still looking out the window, sitting perfectly straight and composed. “Jade, what’s the problem?”

 

“Nothing,” she repeats as she reaches for her bag. She waves off the stewardess who offers them drinks and snacks as Tori orders asks for a ginger ale, pulling out her headphones. “It has nothing to do with me. Do whatever you want.”

 

* * *

 

Tori wakes up alone in the room, Jade’s bed already made on the other side, her duffel bag missing from its usual spot at the foot of her mattress.  She sighs and gets ready, but finds herself with nothing to do by homework. She’s interrupted by a knock on the door, smiling as André slips by her when she opens it, apparently havening already sidestepped the security at the girls’ dorm.

 

“So the rumors are true,” André says as she finishes her story.

 

“What rumors?”

 

“The ones I started.”

 

“That’s not funny, you almost gave me a heart attack.” She throws a pillow at André’s head as he sits at her desk, feet propped up on the end of her bed. “I had Google Alert on my whole vacation to make sure nothing popped up.”

 

“Poor Hollywood, life’s so tough.”

 

“I mean it. It could end my career. Believe it or not, even if it’s the twenty-first century outside, they’re still pretty medieval in the production studios.”

 

“I thought you came here to get away from your career.” André crosses one leg over the other and leans back in the swivel chair.

 

Tori sighs and falls back onto her bed. “I did, but my dad’s right, it could dry up while I’m here. Especially if I turn down roles from major directors.”

 

“Well, you can’t let three months of a silent relationship dictate your career, but I’d miss you.”

 

“I’m not signing up for the draft, we’d be finished filming by mid-October, November at the latest.”

 

“Tor, I know this school is alternative and all, but it’s your senior year of high school. I don’t think you can just jump back in. We work on our portfolios and big projects in our last year here.”

 

“I hate this logic you’re throwing at me. It’s everything Jade wants to say but won’t.”

 

“Well, Jade is… easily slighted. She likes knowing what’s going to happen and hates being surprised.” He sits up and reaches for her guitar, strumming a few bars as she sighs on the bed. “If it’s a good part, take it. Anyone here would in a heartbeat. Jade included.”

 

* * *

 

When Tori returns from dinner with André, Cat and Beck, Jade still isn’t back. She sighs and pulls up the number for the cab company in the town, meeting the old car at the front entrance of the dorms. When she arrives at Jade’s house, her mother greets her with a smile and holds her up in the foyer for more than ten minutes.

 

She’s eventually ushered upstairs, told that Jade would be out of the bathroom soon, but she steps through the bathroom door rather than head up the stairs at the end of the hall. Jade’s soaking in the tub and doesn’t seem at all surprised at Tori’s entrance.

 

“Not coming to the dorm until school starts?” Jade’s leg lifts from the water and then slides back beneath it. “Can we please talk?”

 

“We are now talking,” Jade says drolly, “congratulations.”

 

“I haven’t even accepted the role.”

 

“You should.”

 

Tori blinks, watching as Jade rises from the tub and grabs a towel, wiping the foam from the bubble bath away and wrapping it around herself before she breezes past Tori and into the hall. Tori follows her past the doorways and up the stairs.

 

“You think I should take the role?”

 

“You clearly want to. And who am I to stop you? Your roommate?” Jade’s towel ends up on the floor as she pulls out pajama bottoms. Suddenly Tori feels bashful about Jade’s lack of clothing, like she was reliving her first night at the school.

 

“You’re more than just my roommate, Jade. God, I flew you down to spend the holidays with me and my family.”

 

“And, again, I’m so thankful you bestowed a vacation on me. Thankfully you managed to fit me in between all of your auditions.”

 

“Oh, drop it,” Tori snaps as she follows Jade past the curtain partition at the end of the room. “Seriously, why in the hell are you so mad about this? It’s not even until fall, we’ll have the whole spring and summer, and I can fly back here while I’m shooting-”

 

“Why would you fly back to spend time at a school you won’t even be attending?” Jade asks, her voice all too innocent as she dug around in her bedside table drawer.

 

“Stop. It. Grow up and talk like a normal human or stop giving me the cold shoulder.” Jade sends her an icy glare but Tori keeps her gaze constant. “Are you really just mad that I didn’t tell you that I went to the audition?”

  
  
“And why shouldn’t I be?”

 

“Because it has nothing to do with you!”

 

Jade’s still staring at her with hostility, but Tori can see a shift in her attitude. “So I have nothing to do with your life? None of this means anything?”

 

“I didn’t say-”

 

“But that’s what you mean,” Jade spits as she stands to face her. “I brought you into my home – two of them, actually. I’ve taken you places and showed you things and said stuff that I have never told another person about. Was all of this some experiment to get a codependent person through school until the right role came along?”

 

“Of course not.” Tori stares at her, feeling totally helpless. “Jade, this isn’t something that’s going to get in the way.”

 

“But you still didn’t tell me about it?”

 

“I told you the second I got the offer!”

 

“And you kept silent all week about the audition while you paraded me around your friends like you were proving you could make your own,” Jade throws back, making Tori wince a little. “You have no idea…”

 

“About what?” Tori asks quietly, somewhat afraid of the answer.

 

Jade shakes her head and crosses her arms, staring out the window. “You have no idea how I feel about you, do you?”

 

“Well, you don’t exactly wear your heart on your sleeve-”

 

“This isn’t a fucking joke,” Jade hisses back. Somehow, all at once, Jade looks lost, tired, angry and afraid and it kind of terrifies Tori to see her without barriers. “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve.”

 

Tori stares, totally dumfounded by the girl’s words. “We only met-”

 

“Did you really think that was the first time I saw your show? When you arrived? Are you so fucking blind to the effect you have on people, or are you just used to the world falling to your feet?”

 

“Listen, I’m sorry if you’ve been a fan of the show and known _about_ me longer than I’ve even known you existed, but I don’t owe you anything, Jade. My career, my life, whatever.” Tori sets her jaw even though she feels like crying. “If this is _that_ big of a deal to you-”

 

“Yeah, crazy me,” Jade interrupts, “thinking this was a big deal at all.”

 

Tori leaves when Jade turns her attention the window, walking to the first shuttle stop she sees and making sure her eyes are dry before the bus arrives. It slowly fills up with students returning from shopping or home, until her seat is eventually requested by a young sandy-haired boy with an easy smile.

 

“Do you mind if I sit?” Tori shakes her head and offers a small smile. “Kurt.”

 

“Tori,” she offers.

 

“Believe it or not, I knew that already. We had Drama last semester.”

 

“God, you’re right. We did like three scenes together, I’m sorry. My head’s all over the place.” Tori smiles nervously.

 

“No problem,” the boy replies, green eyes bright. “I was wondering-”

 

“If you’re gonna ask me out, tonight’s not a good night.”

 

“–if you were in the B20 this semester,” he finishes with a good-natured laugh.

 

“I must sound so conceited, you’re catching me at my worst, I swear.” He laughs again and it puts Tori at ease. “I am. Are you?”

 

“I am,” he parrots with a nod, the bus turning onto the campus. “Promise to save me the first scene.”

 

“Only because you were the only one on the bus who actually asked to sit next to me rather than stare and walk by.”

 

* * *

 

Jade doesn’t return to the dorm until classes are through, though Tori still sees her throughout the day. They even sat together at lunch, despite both remaining sullen and quiet. But when night comes, neither have anyone to hide behind.

 

“I’m going to say no,” Tori says quietly from her bed, staring down at the book in her lap.

 

“Don’t bother,” Jade mutters from the sink as she washes her face free from the makeup. “I’m going to talk to the RA about switching dorms.”

 

“Jade,” Tori watches helplessly as Jade crosses the room and turns down the covers on her bed.

 

“No, Tori, do whatever you want about what’s important in your life. Don’t let your dalliances stand in the way.”

 

“I’m not going to apologize for my career, Jade. If you want a job, I’ll find one.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Jade laughs, shaking her head as she climbs into her bed, pulling her laptop from her desk, “You think I’m _jealous_. Get your head out of your ass, Tori.”

 

“Well, what the hell is the problem? I’ve told you I can come here, I’ve told you that you could come with me, what the hell else can I do?”

 

“Not everyone can just drop their life to do whatever they want, Hollywood. Most people have to make decisions by weighing out the options and deciding what’s best for them and their loved ones.” Jade meets her gaze with empty eyes. “And you’ve done that, so mazel tov.”

 

Her headphones go on and she begins typing, staying up long into the night while Tori lays in the dark.

 

* * *

 

“Come on, Vega, keep those knees up or I’ll have you running suicides,” Miss Francon shouts from the center line as the group of players running in spot, a basketball under the arm of her tailored Armani shirt. She always came everywhere dressed as if she was an executive, whether it was a basketball practice or class.

 

She’s still in the gym after Tori’s finished showering, sitting on the lowest bleacher and looking over a clipboard.

 

“Miss Vega, can I do something for you?”

 

Miss Francon has the same demeanor as Jade, icy but welcoming. Tori thinks it has something to do with her eyes – a frosty blue that seems brightened by her pale blonde hair. She speaks the same way Jade does, direct and blunt.

 

“I’m… not sure actually,” Tori replies, looking down at the lines on the floor. “What did you do before you taught here?”

 

“I was an executive producer on many films, a writer on two. I directed a few things.” She shifts so her hair falls over her shoulder. “Why?”

 

“Because there’s no way you’re _that_ far into your thirties and you’re gorgeous enough to be on billboards.” She’s thankful that her face is already flushed or else her cheeks would definitely be darkening. “Why weren’t you on the screen?”

 

“I’ve never wanted to be,” she replies simply. “I’ve always been more interested on what goes on behind the camera rather than on it.” Miss Francon smiles, one of her rare bright smiles that makes her look like a different person when she teaches. “And I’m thirty-seven, by the way.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

The blonde-haired woman laughs and looks down for a moment before meeting Tori’s gaze again. “What can I do for you?”

 

“I’m… I’m at an impasse and I have no idea what to do about it.”

 

“No friends or family to help you with this?”

 

“No, they’re involved too much.”

 

“What exactly is the nature of your problem, Tori?”

 

Tori sighs and shifts her bag to her other shoulder, running a hand through her still damp hair. “I got a job offer. A really good one. But it’s going to conflict with school and the whole reason I came here-”

 

“Was to go to school?”

 

“Right,” she mumbles.

 

“And you want someone who’s been in the business to help you make the decision?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Because your agent will likely want to push the part on you.”

 

“Yes,” she repeats with a relieved breath as _someone_ finally gets her dilemma.

 

“Well,” Miss Francon begins, gathering her things and motioning for Tori to follow her, “I can see why it would be a hard decision for you, Tori. Especially when you’re at a school filled with kids who would probably kill more brutally than regular teens to get the level of success you’ve had before your seventeenth birthday.”

 

They walk onto the oval, the cold January air apparently not affecting her teacher at all, even though Tori’s shivering.

 

“And I know how you feel,” she continues as they walk across the near-empty campus. “I came to teach here when my career was still active. I’ve turned down quite a few jobs.”

 

“Why didn’t you take them?” Tori asks, wishing she could feel half as invigorated as her teacher seems to look in winter weather.

 

“Honestly?” Tori nods. “You’d be surprised how much a teacher at a private school earns.”

 

She smiles as Tori laughs, asking her for her order as they walk into the entrance hall where the coffee vendor has holed up to avoid the weather. She motions for Tori to sit on a bench as they receive their orders.

 

“What do you want to do, Tori? Take the part or take your senior year here? Don’t think about what your friends want or your agent or even your parents. It’s your career. It’s your education. Could I give you some advice though?” Tori nods and Miss Francon leans in to speak before she gets up. “An education? No one can ever take that from you. Your career is what you make of it.”


	4. Part Four

Tori joins a business class last minute when she realizes that it’s the only thing she qualifies for out of all Miss Francon’s junior level courses. She isn’t only Tori’s crush it seems, not that it surprises her in the least – her teacher looks like she was meant to be sculpted out of marble, not telling apathetic teenagers to put their phones down. She doesn’t mind when Tori hangs back at the end of class, always waiting to walk with the girl towards the oval, because Miss Francon went home for lunch every day they didn’t have practice. Tori desperately wants to see what her house looks like, whether she has stacks of movies sitting around or if she put any of her awards on display.

 

“I saw your name in the entertainment section,” the blonde woman comments as she winds her scarf around her neck.

 

“I signed the contract last week when my dad came down. I feel like crap.”

 

“I’m sure your friends will get over it. Kids are strong, they bounce back.” With her black sunglasses and hair shining platinum in the overcast haze, Tori’s teacher looks like she’s headed to Sundance not a one-story bungalow in a town with a forgettable name. “It was a huge part, Tori. You would have been crazy not to consider it.”

 

“Then why do I feel like crap every morning?”

 

“Well, two-a-days will be done soon, that might help.” She smiles at Tori’s groan, slowing as they stepped onto the fresh grass. Gloves appear from the bag she begins searching through, followed by her car keys. “You’re doing really well here, you know. I’ve talked to your teachers–”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I’m your basketball coach and I have to check up on my players so shut up. They’re very impressed with how well you transitioned last year, especially for a mid-semester transfer.” She perches her sunglass on the top of her head, ice-blue eyes turned upwards.

 

“And…”

 

“And congratulations on that.” Miss Francon winks before sliding the glasses back down and walking away. “Have a good weekend, Miss Vega.”

 

Tori watches her walk away, far longer than she should judging by the way André clears his throat next to her. She jumps and he laughs, immediately steering the flustered girl back inside the building she came from.

 

“You know, for an award-winning actress–”

 

“I suck at pretending to not be gay, trust me, I know.” She sneaks him past the front desk and up to her empty room, Jade’s side pristine from the lack of use. She’s stopped coming by completely, and if she is there it’s never when Tori’s around. She collapses on her own bed while André sets up at her desk.

 

“Not hungry?”

 

“Not today. You don’t have to stay though.”

 

“I have to leave in a minute to work on my screenwriting assignment with Cat.”

 

“Has she… said _anything_?”

 

“Cat?” Tori rolls her eyes and he smiles. “Why are you asking me?”

 

“Well, you’re the only person I talk to who knows her and our whole deal, so get used to it.” Tori stares at the other bed forlornly. “I wish she’d just talk to me.”

 

“A lot of people wish that. Usually when Jade speaks to them they realize what a silly dream that was.”

 

“You’re not helping.”

 

“I’m not really trying to, to be honest.” She’d throw something at him if there were anything within reaching distance, but she settles for flipping him off. “She’s got a bruised ego, Tor. And when Jade’s ego bruises, it goes deep.”

 

“It’s not just about that. She said she’s been in love with me for five years.”

 

“And you spurned her friendship and much more for a movie role? Sell-out.”

 

“Please don’t.” She sits up on the bed slowly, a dull migraine settling into her temples. “I feel like shit already.”

 

“You look like it too. You need to eat and sleep like a normal human if you’re going to be heartbroken. It takes a lot out of you.” He stands from her chair and pats Tori’s calf before he takes his exit. “I mean it.”

 

* * *

 

No-one bothers her Friday night, she receives a few messages on Saturday, and by Sunday the reserve power in her phone finally gives away and she’s left alone in silence. Tori doesn’t _do_ much, she never does when she gets into these “episodes”, as her mother calls them, nothing beyond the basics of getting up, showering, looking out the window and feeling like crying, then returning to bed.

 

On Monday she forces herself out of bed before her alarm goes off, slowly making her way through her routine and dressing in her warm-up gear before she ambles toward the gym. Practice goes by as normal until they begin a scrimmage, Tori calmly dribbling the ball up their side of the court until she’s not.

 

Nothing is out of the normal, Tori feels tired but fine, but all of a sudden she’s collapsing to the floor, her heart hammering against her chest and her head dizzy. Her teammates surround her immediately, Miss Francon at her side telling the others to give her space.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Yes,” Tori replies through gasping breaths. She doesn’t just feel shaken, an unsettling feeling is washing through her veins and she doesn’t know why. “I just… I can’t…”

 

“Girls, work on your free throws, Miss Vega is fine. _Now_.” The group of teens reluctantly leaves the scene as their coach helps Tori to her feet, leading her out to one of the gym offices, pressing a cold water bottle into her hands. “Do you have a history of panic attacks?”

 

“Is that what they are? I thought panic attacks involved being panicked about something.” Her breath slows to normal but she can’t stop the tremors, which seem to be a result more of the settling uneasiness in her stomach. “It’s happened once before when I was fourteen. No one was around that time though.”

 

“Must have been terrifying.”

 

“Have you ever had one?”

 

“Four, actually. At my age you assume it’s a heart attack or stroke though.” The blonde woman brushes Tori’s hair back, kneeling beside her chair. “It’s nothing to be worried about.”

 

“I don’t think I can play tomorrow.”

 

“I don’t think you should,” her coach replies as she untwists the cap from the bottle she had placed in Tori’s hands, urging her to take a drink. “Do you want to take the week off?”

 

“I don’t want to disappoint the team,” Tori says tiredly, tremors turning into the occasional shake as she grips the bottle.

 

Miss Francon lets out a small breath, effectively blowing away the strands of golden hair that have obstructed her view, still looking painfully gorgeous all the while. Some part of Tori wants to self-destruct and make a move on her teacher, but thankfully her nerves feel too fried to self-destruct completely.

 

“Come to the game, you can stay in your warm-ups on the bench. Wednesday morning’s practice, so we can discuss the game and our new plays. And Thursday’s afternoon practice so we can go over them again.” She pats her student’s knee and gives her a small, comforting smile. “Deal?”

 

Tori nods and looks down at her water bottle. “Thank you.”

 

“Are you feeling okay, Tori?”

 

“Not really,” she says slowly, eyebrows drawn.

 

“I mean besides the panic attack.”

 

“Oh. School is fine.”

 

Miss Francon laughs and throws her hair back with a toss of her head. “I’m sure you’re still doing very well in school. I’m trying to ask you if there’s something wrong with _you_ and you’re making it incredibly difficult.”

 

“I’m… fine. Relationship problems, I guess.”

 

“Well, if you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” Her teacher stands from her spot. “You should take the morning off, Tori. Go back to your dorm and get some rest.”

 

Tori smiles and stands shakily, letting out a breath. “I would but then I’d miss your class.”

 

“Well, sorry to give it away, but he eats _both_ the green eggs and the ham by the end.” She wraps an arm around Tori’s shoulder and walks her to the dressing room. “I mean it about the being able to talk to me thing, you know. Just because I’m thirty-seven and have a complete phobia to relationships doesn’t mean I’m _totally_ out of touch. Just mostly.”

 

* * *

 

Tori takes it easy for the rest of the week but a weight begins to settle on her chest early Friday morning that she can’t place. Even after she finishes showering she feels as if she’ll have a nervous fit if she tries to leave her room. The Latina collapses on her bed still wrapped in a towel and her hair wet, climbing under the covers with her stomach in and not moving for the rest of the day.

 

She attempts to force herself out into the world the following day, but ends up spending most of Saturday sitting with her script in the back of the library. It’s a really beautiful yet-to-be-named drama about a young couple struggling in an unnamed big city. Easily a Cannes/TIFF/Sundance entry, possibly with one or two honorable mentions if she and Danny can nail it. Knowing it’s a great story that will challenge her as well as possibly get her noticed on her own volition should be a huge consolation prize, but it leaves her with little emotion today.

 

Tori sighs and rubs her tired, makeup free eyes. She usually puts a little more effort in when she can around campus because people have a nasty habit of posting terrible photos of her online, but today she couldn’t muster up the energy to care about what anyone thought. Until her basketball coach rounded the corner, two heavy law books in her arms.

 

“Miss Francon,” she straightens in her seat a little, tugging the bottom of her hoodie further down her thighs to cover the tights she’s wearing.

 

“Miss Vega,” she greets with a smile. “How are you? We missed you yesterday.”

 

“Sorry, I felt really… really sick.”

 

“It’s fine. Megan’s going to be around next year, it’ll be nice to get her in a few more games as point guard before the season is over.” She sits primly in the cushioned seat, one leg crossed over the other. “Is that your Dex Lawson project?”

 

“It is. Do you want to read it?”

 

“I’m not sure you’re supposed to allow people to do that.”

 

“I’d like your opinion,” Tori says honestly, passing the script over. “I looked you up on IMDB, you have a great eye for well-written films.”

 

“If only I were better at choosing directors. Would you like me to read this right now?” She nods and sits back, grateful when the blonde woman does the same, opening the booklet in her lap. They sit in silence for a long time, Tori staring off into space while her teacher read. When she catches her flipping the script back to the title page she looks over again. “It’s very good.”

 

“Oh, come on. You wouldn’t hand a student back an essay that just says ‘it’s very good’. What do you think?”

 

“It’s darker than what most will expect from your first project, even with your experience on HBO. But I think you’ll be able to play the role very well if you bring the right… pathos to the character. And I’m sure you can, especially now that you have a little more regular life experience, despite your incredibly abnormal school.” Tori stares, a little transfixed by the way the sunlight makes her teacher’s hair glow as if she has a halo behind her. “I’m actually incredibly grateful you offered to let me read this, they only sent me a few pages because all of Lawson’s films are so top secret.”

 

“They want you to work on the film?” She nods and passes the script back to the young girl. “As what?”

 

“As an EP. They think I’ll be able to rope in a few stunt casts for the people playing your neighbors and parents.” Her nails drum along wooden end of her chair. “However the schedule would conflict with my job here.”

 

“That… that sucks. I would have loved working with you.”

 

“Well, let’s cross our fingers on that.”

 

* * *

 

Despite her braved outing, she lets her phone die again and she refuses to open her laptop or respond to the occasional knocks she receives on the door. Tori resumes her position on the bed, not feeling any better or worse about her decision to sign up on the project after her run in with Miss Francon. She slips in and out of sleep, wishing she had a bathtub to soak in whenever she wakes up.

 

At what she guesses to be around midnight (she’s blocked or turned off any clocks in the room) the door opens, flooding the room with light. She’s blinded for a moment, but Jade’s form soon becomes recognizable, as well as the very distinct smell of expensive weed.

 

“So you’re not dead.”

 

“Guess not,” Tori replies, her voice thick with sleep. Jade’s steps are unsure as she walks into the room, scanning it as if she were looking something specific. Tori sits up in her bed, running a hand through her ratty hair while she watches the other girl closely. “You came back.”

 

“Yes, well, that appears to be true. Despite what people may think, I’m not totally heartless. And you weren’t answering the door for André apparently.” She tosses her leather jacket onto her bed and then follows it so she can sit and remove her boots. “Heard you wanna fuck Francon.”

 

“Who doesn’t?”

 

Jade’s mouth twists into a smirk as she tosses her shoes aside, hands moving to grip the edge of her mattress. “Who indeed? Word on the street is that’s the reason she moved here from working on films. Had an affair with a young female star that they had to keep under wraps. Kid’s dad was a higher up at the studio and wasn’t too impressed with Miss Francon.”

 

Tori actually remembers hearing something of an urban legend that matches Jade’s description, but she rolls her eyes anyway.  “She got offered an Executive Producer position on my project, so I doubt that’s true.”

 

“Maybe they’re just trying to butter you up,” Jade makes a popping sound at the end of her sentence, the corner of her mouth still turned up. “Or maybe she buttered _you_ up to get a new job.”

 

“Believe it or not, not everyone has some underhanded strategy behind everything they do.” She shifts under the covers as Jade stands from the bed following her words. “She won’t take the job if it conflicts with her classes next year anyway.”

 

“How considerate.”

 

“I’m getting really tired for apologizing for this, Jade. Why is it so unreasonable to you that I want to do something I’m really excited and proud to be a part of?”

 

“Shut up,” Jade breathes as she stands to continue undressing.

 

“So you’re staying here tonight?”

 

“Evidently.”

 

Tori eyes the girl warily as she strips in front of her. “Why?”

 

“Because, star of everyone’s world, I just couldn’t live without basking in your glow for another minute.” She’s left in her underwear as she rids herself of her tights, approaching Tori despite her alarmed expression. “You look scared. I thought this is what you wanted.”

 

“Yeah, because I’m just _that_ desperate for a pity fuck.” She couldn’t quite say it with as much confidence as she wanted to and clearly that seeps through because Jade’s eyebrow climbs up her forehead, thighs now pressing against the side of Tori’s bed. “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“What’s wrong with _you_?” Jade fires back hazily, pushing Tori aside until she relents and presses herself against the wall. “I thought you had nicer sheets.”

 

“Why are you doing this?” Tori asks as Jade invades her space, shifting uncomfortably when the other girl slides her hand across her waist. “You hate me.”

 

“Is that what you got out of me confessing my now six-year crush on you? Happy birthday, by the way.” Tori blinks in confusion. “It’s after midnight. You forgot your own birthday?”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“Well, you definitely ruined your surprise party by not coming. And then I ruined it a second time by showing up. I maybe might have bitched you out while you weren’t there, so don’t be surprised about the gossip you might hear.”

 

“Well, happy birthday to me.”

 

“What do you want for a present?” Her breath smells like whiskey and Tori can’t shake the memory of Henry’s clumsy attempts to crawl into bed with her after a night out.

 

“I… I’m just glad you’re back.” She was, too. The ache in her chest has been replaced with the usual nervous tightness she felt in her throat when Jade is around. Tori hasn’t been this close to her in a long time, hasn’t been able to look at her openly for weeks now. Which was a shame because Jade was just so ridiculously pretty that sometimes she felt struck dumb by her. “That’s all I want.”

 

“Boring, ragdoll. Boring,” Jade breathes, though her eyes close immediately and before long her breath has evened out before Tori can settle back into her spot comfortably. The encounter has left her thoroughly baffled but she doesn’t want to question anything that has Jade pressed against her side again.

 

* * *

 

Tori would find it hilarious that Jade’s ringtone is the _Game of Thrones_ theme music but she’s pretty sure she only fell asleep a few hours ago and therefor nothing at all is funny. She manages to climb over the dead weight taking up most of her bed, searching through the pile of Jade’s clothes until she finds the phone in her jacket pocket.

 

The name ‘Aunt Jen’ flashes across the screen and Tori debates internally for a second before she slides the phone open. “Hello?”

 

“Well, you’re certainly not my niece.” The voice is oddly familiar and it takes Tori longer than she’d like to admit for her to recognize her former Broadway idol.

 

“No. No, Miss Balfour, I’m her roommate, Tori.”

 

“Ah, the little starlet.”

 

Tori laughs quietly and sits back against the side of Jade’s bed, eyes on the sleeping girl across from her. “Were you a fan or does she just like to complain about me?”

 

“A little of both. So she’s safe at her dorm then?”

 

“Um, yeah. Was she unsafe somewhere else?”

 

She hears the woman sigh on the other line as she tries to figure out the time difference between California and New York. “Her father was in an accident on Friday so her mother flew out to be with him. She took Jason but she didn’t want Jade to miss school. She hasn’t been too good about keeping us updated on where and how she is, however.”

 

“I’m so sorry to hear that. She didn’t say anything when she came in last night.” Tori stands so she can slip into the bathroom, closing the door behind her and sitting in darkness. “Which isn’t all that surprising…”

 

“Not in the least. Could you do me a favor and keep an eye on her until her mom comes home?”

 

“I would but I think she might file a restraining order when she… is more herself.”

 

“She’s in love with you, Miss Tori. Just keep her away from anything that’s too hard.”

 

The phone disconnects abruptly – much like Jade, her aunt seems to find ‘goodbye’ to be an unnecessary formality – and Tori is left in the dark for a long time while she tries to decide what to do. As much as she wants Jade’s friendship (or lips) back, as much as she wants to help her right now (which will undoubtedly not be appreciated), she’s totally blanking on how to proceed.

 

Tori’s thankful she’s not holding her own phone because the desperate need to ask Miss Francon’s advice is almost too much for her at the moment. She steps out of the bathroom and allows her eyes a moment to adjust from total darkness to the reasonably bright light that filtered into the room, a combination of the lights in the oval reflecting off the overcast sky. Jade’s pale skin practically glows as Tori approaches, unplugging her own phone so she can charge Jade’s dying one, at the very least leaving Jade with little excuse to ignore her messages the next day.

 

She walks to the end of the bed so she can slide back into the sliver of space Jade has left her on the bed, awkwardly slipping back under the covers. Jade is still turned in, facing towards her. Tori hesitantly reaches out to slide her hand across Jade’s cheek, thumb sliding back and forth as Jade’s eyes squeeze together and then squint open, not looking entirely like herself as she sizes Tori up.

 

 _‘I’m sorry your father’s in the hospital’_ seems like a stupid thing to say at the moment so her lips remain shut, but she presses her forehead against Jade’s until they’re nose-to-nose, hand sliding down and around her neck. For a moment her blue eyes seem to find a moment of clarity and she closes them just as Tori can make out the glint of a tear. When they open again they’ve returned to the hazy mixture of still being drunk and still being mostly asleep.

 

Not that it stops Jade from pinning Tori beneath her and kissing her like nothing at all had ever transgressed between them, experimental and hungry, as if she were getting used to Tori again. Tori, however, feels like she’s home underneath Jade’s weight, the familiarity becoming a weird rush. It’s not particularly graceful – Jade isn’t her usual controlled self, their teeth bump together often and painfully, and Tori’s arm is going numb because of Jade’s grip on her – but it’s so, _so_ nice.

 

She can’t really help herself from responding to Jade’s movements, pressing her hips back when Jade’s would crash against her, but she stops the hand that tries to make its way up her shirt. Jade pulls away, a millimeter at the very most, hooded gaze making Tori’s stomach tighten. The dark haired girl doesn’t play fair ( _“I don’t particularly care about being fair,”_ echoes in Tori’s mind), pressing her body flush against Tori’s and sliding up as her lower lips catches Tori’s top, making her let out an embarrassingly loud strangled breath. Still, her hand manages to catch Jade’s hand again as it tries once again for second base.

 

“This is what you wanted,” Jade hisses, eyes turning as icy as her tone and making Tori blink at the sudden loss of intimacy. It makes it easier however, for her body to relax under Jade’s even as her hand continues to sift through her tangled black hair, holding her close despite Jade attempts to move from her grip. “Let go.”

 

She doesn’t, and a still drunk, half-asleep, emotionally exhausted Jade West turns out to be relatively easy to control. Tori’s hands bring Jade’s head back down to press against her own again, sullenly accepting the soft, chaste kisses Tori was giving until her body lets go of some of the tension.

 

Eventually Jade slides her weight onto her right hip, still wrapped around Tori’s left side in a tangle of limbs as Tori tries to find the right thing to say before Jade’s eyes shut completely.

 

“I’ve never missed anyone more in my life and I saw you almost every day,” she says rather plainly, which she immediately regrets. It should have been a whispered plea, not a blank statement.

 

“You’re leaving,” Jade counters with little bite.

 

“Six weeks. I’ll be filming in LA. It’s a four hour plane ride, I’ll visit–”

 

“Don’t wanna hear it.”

 

The singsong voice saves the statement from hurting too much, but Tori still flinches. “It shouldn’t change us.”

 

Jade’s eyes finally close. “It will.”

 

“Then what was all of that?”

 

“I wanted to fuck you,” Jade replies so drolly, sounding so terrifyingly normal that Tori can’t help but laugh. Blue eyes reopen and a hint of a smile takes over the corner of Jade’s lips.

 

“We could have been doing that for the last couple of weeks, you know. Might have saved me a few headaches.”

 

Jade’s still smiling but her eyes are cold and searching. “I was mad at you.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Deservedly,” she manages after stumbling over the word a few times.

 

“Yes.” Jade stares at her leaving Tori with the impression that she no longer knows how to follow up Tori’s replies. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or anyone. I didn’t think I could have a normal life before I met you guys.”

 

“Who here wants a normal life?”

 

“Well… exactly.” Jade sighs and drops her gaze, but Tori feels like she’s at least made progress – at three-thirty on a Sunday morning with a Jade who was still very much under the influence. It feels like a somewhat hollow victory, to say the least. “Your aunt called your phone while you were asleep.”

 

“I’m tired.”

 

That’s it. Jade says nothing more, her eyes close, and before long her breathing evens out, leaving Tori alone with her thoughts once again.

 

* * *

 

Jade is quiet but surprisingly pliable when the morning arrives, showering and changing and allowing Tori to take her for coffee, the humidity making the air muggy but warm. They sit in silence on the grass until Tori finally can’t take it anymore.

 

“Is he okay?”

 

“Critical. Stable.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Jade peers across the oval, her coffee taking center stage for the time being. Even when she lowers it from her lips she remains quiet. Tori doesn’t push or pry, not while Jade is clearly putting on a brave face to make up for her pallid complexion and the way she’s carefully breathing in through her nose and out her mouth.

 

“Last night was a mistake.” This time it’s Tori who doesn’t respond immediately, apparently pushing Jade to continue. “I’m sorry.”

 

“You know, I bet that even if I hadn’t taken the part, or even if I made some big stand now and backed out of an amazing role that I can’t wait to play, you wouldn’t care.”

 

“Probably not.”

 

Tori can feel a sting in her eyes and she doesn’t entirely know why when she had all but accepted the hopelessness of her situation with Jade. Still, she bites back the emotion in her throat and grips her coffee a little tighter. “Okay.”

 

Jade gets up to leave without another word but frowns as Tori follows her. “I’m not going to change–”

 

“Jennifer Balfour told me to keep an eye on you, and if you think I’m going to let down someone who has played Glinda, you’re out of your mind.” Her voice is more confident than she feels, but she is genuinely worried about Jade.

 

The other girl eyes her over the rim of her coffee lid. “We’re not friends.”

 

“We’re roommates.”

 

“What exactly did my aunt say to you?” Tori shrugs and Jade glowers in return. “This is pathetic, even for you.”

 

“You can call and check with her, if you want.” She desperately hopes she doesn’t. “But I’m not going anywhere. Even if I have to force you to spend time with me, it’s happening.”

 

“Pathetic,” Jade snaps and turns on foot, marching across the paved walkway, but making no comment when Tori calls for a cab. They stand in front of the school in silence, finishing their coffee and not looking at each other, even when the taxi arrives. Jade surprises her by extending the olive branch when they reach the city limits, running a hand through her wavy black hair. “Are you hungry?”

 

“I could eat,” Tori replies with a smile that goes unnoticed by Jade.

 

“Take us to the Chinese place on Willow.”

 

When they arrive an older woman steps out behind the counter to greet them, grabbing Jade’s reluctantly smiling face in her hands. “It’s pretty, pretty Jade! And she brought a pretty, pretty friend. Come, you two sit in the front. Big windows in the front.”

 

“I take it you come here a lot.”

 

“Mrs. Lee comes to all the school plays. She particularly likes the dark and macabre.”

 

“So she’s your number one fan?”

 

“I even get a discount.” Tori laughs and looks down as the waiter approaches with their drinks, trying to hide her discomfort at Jade’s intense gaze after weeks of desperately trying to maintain it. “I’m not going to _do_ anything if that’s what Jen was worried about.”

 

“She just doesn’t want you to be alone.”

 

“And you volunteered because?”

 

“I don’t want to be alone.”

 

“Not everyone sees desperation as something to be admired, Tori.”

 

“Not everyone is afraid to be upfront with people about their feelings, Jade.” The waiter returns for their order, Tori asking for the same as Jade when she realizes she hasn’t even looked at the menu. “We can still be friends.”

 

“I’m not so sure that’s true.”

 

“Well, not with that attitude.” Jade’s mouth twitches but the smile doesn’t quite bloom, but it’s enough for Tori to at least feel a small surge of confidence. “I don’t care if you think I’m a doormat–”

 

“On the contrary, I find you annoyingly persistent and antagonizing.”

 

“ _I’m_ antagonizing?”

 

“To me you are.”

 

“That’s almost a compliment coming from you, you know.”

 

They decide to walk back to Jade’s house with their leftovers, the quiet town alive with families enjoying the break in the weather. Tori doesn’t know why she feels both weird and comfortable in Jade’s presence still, but it makes their long bouts of silence easier to bear.

 

Jade’s house is suffocating it’s so quiet, but Jade does nothing to remedy this so Tori doesn’t comment. Unlike the raven-haired girl, who sits quietly in the living room doing her homework, Tori has brought nothing with her to pass the time. She thinks it might be other girl’s plan to unnerve or bore her into leaving but Tori counters swiftly with a nap that lasts well into the day.

 

When she wakes up it’s dark from the lowering sun and the lack of light in the house. Jade and any trace of her from the main floor has disappeared, leaving Tori to wander up the stairs alone. Jade’s room is heavy with the sweet smell of incense when she climbs up the stairs to the attic, stopping when she enters to take in the sight. There are half a dozen candles lit around the room casting the room in an orange glow. Jade is walking around in a white slip, certainly an item of clothing that Tori’s never seen on her before, but it has her staring as the dim light makes Jade’s alabaster skin a warm yellow.

 

“Why didn’t you ever wear that with me?”

 

“Just pulled it out of the bottom of my drawer. Doing laundry.”

 

Tori eyes the pile of folded clothes and the open bags at Jade’s feet. “You’re coming home.”

 

Jade doesn’t reply, just continues walking around the room barefoot, looking like a vision in a dream. Her eyes shine green in the flickering light as she glances back at Tori, still stuck at the top of the stairs. “Friends don’t look at their friends like that.”

 

“I can’t imagine anyone not looking at you like this right now.”

 

“Well, my grandmother bought me this so that’s a little disturbing.” Tori grabs her wrist as she attempts to pass her, turning Jade until they’re facing each other. Jade’s face remains blank, even as Tori’s thumb starts to move in slow circles over her pulse. “Tori.”

 

“Thank you for coming back.”

 

“It’s my room.”

 

“I know, I just…” She tugs the other girl into her, slipping her arms up around Jade’s neck and pressing their cheeks together. Jade smells different, obviously a result of being home and left without the lotions and perfumes – even her hairspray isn’t her own, but she _feels_ the same, even dressed in silk. “Friends hug, this is okay.”

 

“It would be if you weren’t smelling me.”

 

“Shh, shh, shh. Everything’s fine.” Jade laughs quietly, her hands finally rising to rest on Tori’s hips. She allows Tori to hang on for as long as she wishes, slipping from her grasp the moment she begins to step back.

 

* * *

 

Jade comes back to the dorm and they return to the stage they were in the first month Tori had moved in, though without the flirting. And it’s nice enough just to have her around again and some of Tori’s neurosis seems to leave her, making her feel as if she can actually interact socially with people without ending up feeling exhausted. But being around Jade and trying not to stare is like being a moth and trying to ignore a porch light. They act like real roommates and real roommates are comfortable with each other but living with a person you’re undeniably in love with is far harder than she imagined.

 

* * *

 

Jade’s father wakes up in the middle of the week though he has to remain at the hospital for the time being. Jade calls him once and then seems to move on from the situation entirely.

 

“So what _is_ the damage?” Tori asks as she does up her tie, eyes scanning the floor for her cardigan.

 

“A few breaks, a few fractures, maybe a headache or two.”

 

“You are such an empathetic soul.” Jade doesn’t respond as she carefully applies her eyeliner in the mirror. “You were really worried about him.”

 

“Of course I was, Tori, he’s my father.”

 

Tori watches her studiously for a moment, studying the careful ease in which she brushes the thin black strokes. Jade’s kept her at an arm’s length, something Tori supposes is for her own benefit, but it sucks to have cracked Jade West and have to start over again.

 

“I’m glad he’s okay.”

 

“As am I.”

 

“What else has been going on with you? We haven’t caught up.”

 

Jade glances at her in the mirror but moves on to the other eye. “Not much. Volleyball’s over, school’s fine, and I feel like you’ve kept your ear to the ground about the rest.”

 

“I’m not a lovesick stalker, thank you.”

 

“Well, I asked about _you_.”

 

“You did?” Tori looks up from her spot on her bed, fingers stilling on the cuff of her white blouse. She had assumed Jade had all but blocked out her existence, given that it was the way she had acted.

 

“I’m not quite sure about what you’re not getting about my being in love with you for years and then _living_ with you and inviting you into my bed.” Jade drops the eyeliner to the counter and inspects her meticulous makeup before she steps away from the sink and walks over to her bed, mirroring Tori’s position so she can slip on her boots. “Not to mention being acquaintances–”

 

“You can just say friends like the humans do.”

 

“ _Acquaintances_.” Jade meets her eyes briefly before she looks back down at her laces. “It’s not exactly something you get over right away.”

 

Tori watches her hands as the laces twist around them, watches the way her dexterous fingers slip the cotton strings around each other, watches the way the tendons in her hands tighten and release. She can’t imagine most people find shoe tying half so interesting.

 

“Then why end it if I’m right here?”

 

At first she’s afraid doesn’t hear her whispered words, but the dark-haired beauty does her the courtesy of answering her before walking off to her first class.

 

“I don’t make a habit of walking head first into hopeless situations, Tori.”

 

* * *

 

The few parties she goes to are generally lackluster, especially when she starts allowing herself to go to the bigger parties now that her presence is a little less noticed by the students. Boys and girls hit on her, but she feels little attraction to the other people in the room, especially when Jade is walking around in a short, dark purple dress that has the texture of lace.

 

Tori is sitting with Kurt, a red plastic cup that has been filled with soda and rum and promptly emptied throughout the night in her hand. Jade and André are across the room leaning against the wall in the midst of what seems to be a never ending discussion, all while André pretends not to be glancing down Jade’s dress at every opportunity and Jade pretends not to notice. If anything, she encourages him, crossing her arms over (or, rather, _under_ ) her chest and leaning forward whenever she spoke.

 

It _is_ rather pathetic and Tori knows it. To be so hung up on someone whom you barely “dated” for ten weeks, but Tori can’t help it, particularly when she can barely stand. Stand she does though, breaking free from Kurt’s side to amble up to the pair.

 

“You look destroyed, Hollywood,” Jade comments as she watches her trip and nearly collapse into André.

 

“I just got second place in a basketball tournament last night, thank you. I think I deserve a night to unwind.” She leans on André, who laughs and wraps an arm around her to keep her up.

 

“You’re gonna be sick tomorrow and I’m not taking care of you.”

 

“You’ve made that abundantly clear, thank you, Jade.” Jade’s playful look immediately turns to stone and André seems to be gearing up to stop (or eventually stop) a catfight, but Tori remains blasé as her shaky gaze looks around the room. “Where’s the rest of my team?”

 

“On their knees, I bet,” Jade sneers, looking down into the cup in her hand before taking a long drink and pushing off the wall to disappear into the kitchen.

 

“I don’t think she likes me tonight,” Tori whispers.

 

“I think you might be right,” André whispers in return. “Maybe you should turn in, I’ll take you back to the campus.”

 

Tori hums and straightens up. “Nah, you stay. Jade doesn’t wear low-cut things enough.”

 

“See, I knew there’d be a plus side to you not being the least bit sexually attracted to me. An understanding about boobs.”

 

She does take their advice and walk towards the nearest shuttle stop, though she doesn’t exactly know where that is so she wanders aimlessly down the tree-lined streets until she spots a reflective sign off in the distance. Unfortunately her tunnel vision on the sign and the mess with Jade swirling around her head has Tori stumbling down sidewalk, most definitely unaware of the tomcat who, startled by her arrival, jolts from his spot on a nearby fence and runs into the street, effectively causing Tori to trip over her own feet.

 

“Oh, come on!” She shouts to no one in particular because it’s nearly one in the morning and the streets are empty. A few houselights turn on at her outburst however, soon followed by the sounds of people opening their doors to check where the noise was coming from. “I’m fine,” Tori calls out behind her shoulder, though her wrist is scraped and bleeding and her elbow gives a sharp pain when she tries to straighten up, “Just an idiot.”

 

“Clumsy maybe, but not an idiot.”

 

Tori squints as she makes out the direction the footsteps are coming from, hand slipping from its sudden grip on her phone as the panic left her. Miss Francon is dressed in white pumps and a glittering dress that hugs her form, but neither of those things strikes Tori as odd, despite the fact that she was coming from her home at such a late hour. It’s the thin gray hoodie she has on that stands out as weird.

 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were stalking me.”

 

“You’re the one cursing across the street from my house,” her teacher replies as she leans down to help Tori to her feet, holding her hand out carefully as she inspects Tori’s cuts. “Come on, let’s clean you up.”

 

Miss Francon’s house seems as old as the rest on the street, though the architecture sets it apart from the Victorian and colonial homes surrounding it, with its sharp angles and vaulted ceilings. The inside is decorated beautifully, but sparingly. Tori can’t find a single photograph or even a whiff of something that made this seem like less than a model home, but the warm colors keep it from feeling impersonal despite it all. Her teacher sheds herself from the thin hoodie she has on and throws it over the back of the couch, creating the only mess Tori can make out, save for two empty wine glasses on the coffee table.

 

“You have company,” Tori mumbles as she’s lead to a seat and forced to sit down.

 

“Had. They left about an hour ago.”

 

“Oh.” She wants to ask who exactly this gorgeous woman could find worthy of her attention for an evening. The blonde woman leaves Tori for a moment, returning with a first aid kit and a warm washcloth, seating herself on the edge of the coffee table and tilting Tori’s chin so she can look for any damage. “You’re dressed like you’re about to spend an evening at the Met.”

 

Miss Francon laughs and presses the washcloth to the scraped skin on her wrist gently, still earning her a hiss from Tori at the sting. She waits until she’s cleaned her up before she responds, setting the damp cloth by her hip before she pulls out something that Tori knows is going to hurt like hell. “I have a closet full of clothes made for Hollywood premieres, not lackluster dates in small town California. So to entertain myself, I spend a lot of time playing dress up, or dress down, until I feel passable for a disappointing evening at Wok Star.”

 

“When has anyone ever called you just ‘passable’ in your life?” Tori asks blankly, her tongue feelings heavier and heavier with every word.

 

“You’re sweet,” the blonde comments, grabbing Tori’s free hand to get her to hold the bandage she’s pressing to Tori’s wrist as she reaches for some tape. “If only my dates were half so congenial.”

 

“Where do you even find people to date in this town? There’s like a population of twenty.”

 

Her perfect pink lips twist up into a smirk as she rips a small strand of scotch tape to hold one end of the bandage down. “Well, that would certainly explain why they’re few and far between.”

 

Tori stares blearily at the bandage on her wrist, her vision swimming as the sweet smell of cinnamon catches her attention, though for the life of her she can’t tell where it’s coming from. It strikes her then, after all her time spent with this woman, that she’s never smelled of anything except maybe the faint whiff of soap off her. She really has to stop smelling people.

 

“You look obliterated,” she comments as she starts to reassemble her first aid kit.

 

“Can you take me back to the school?” Tori asks through a strained voice.

 

“I’ll call you a cab. I think I’m breaking one or two rules by bringing you into my house at all. And possibly some laws.” The red kit closed she leans forward, turning the cloth over so she can press the damp fabric to Tori’s cheeks. “Just don’t get sick, they’ll be taking my credit card.”

 

“Why aren’t you still working?”

 

To her credit, her teacher doesn’t sidestep the question again, smiling a little as she wipes Tori’s sweaty brow. “I… had a terrible reputation, I guess.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For giving girls a terrible reputation,” she replies, her smile still bright. She drops the hand with the washcloth to her lap and the cool air hits the damp skin on Tori’s face like a smack. She can’t help herself from staring at the woman sitting across from her – she can never help herself. Miss Francon gets ready to stand, taking a breath. “I will go get my pho–”

 

Tori doesn’t consider herself to be self-destructive – the thought would have never crossed her mind before she had stepped foot in this town and met these people, but it seems she can always find new ways to surprise herself. Miss Francon is statuesque even with her slim frame, but Tori hadn’t expected her to feel like cool marble under her finger tips as she holds the blonde’s face close to her own, her lips hungrier and sloppier than she would have liked to betrayed to someone she admires so greatly.

 

The older woman is frustratingly still under her movements, taking Tori’s statue metaphor to a degree that the Latina can't bear. She leans forward and presses her lips against the blonde’s until her own hurt, unaware of the tear slipping down her own cheek, but Miss Francon remains unmoving until Tori eventually slows her assault.

 

Her teacher looks at her neither with concern nor pity – if anything she looks at her as if she were an equal to herself rather than a student in her classroom. She’s quiet as she reaches up to grasp Tori’s cheeks, her thumb reaching over to brush away the now steady stream of tears she still hasn’t realized are falling.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.”

 

“I don’t know what to do anymore. Everything I do hurts me or hurts someone else. And now people are just done caring.”

 

Still, her striking blue eyes remain judgment free as she holds Tori’s face delicately, voice soothing but without any condescension. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be to be seventeen year-old girl and have the responsibility of a multi-million dollar film on my shoulders. The regular shit is hard enough to deal with, I know.”

 

She closes her eyes in an attempt to block out the beautiful woman’s presence, the sight of her making Tori feel like a blubbering child she has to attend to. Miss Francon’s hands fall from their position to squeeze Tori’s shoulders.

 

“I’m going to make you some tea and then I’m going to call you a taxi, okay?”

 

She leaves after a moment with no reply from Tori and by the time she’s put the kettle on the stove and returned to the living room, Tori is gone.


	5. Part Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so incredibly sorry. I lost so much will to write last year and even more for this particular fic after the Victorious cancellation. But I felt that I owed it to you all to force myself to finish, even if it was one sentence at a time. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and thank you for even checking back after all this time.

 "Mom would never let me get away with this."

 

Tori sighs and checks the thin watch on her wrist for the fifteenth time in four hours, waiting for the flight attendant to announce that they could leave the plane. She almost regrets telling her sister at all that she was abruptly leaving due to the shortened week. And to save her the embarrassment of facing Miss Francon again.

 

"Well, considering you're here now, that doesn't seem true."

 

Trina scoffs. "Because you came up with the idea. I still don't understand why you were so desperate to leave. And why mom said it was okay for you to just miss four days of school like it's nothing."

 

For whatever it's worth, she's thankful for Trina's presence, as frustrating and as annoying as she can be. Her mother and father are on vacation but had okayed their break from the school (definitely under the impression that Tori has yet to miss any) when Tori called on Sunday afternoon under the terms that if Trina couldn't get away from her classwork, Tori couldn't come. Thankfully Trina was smart enough to lie.

 

When they arrive at the beach house they actually settle into a somewhat normal arrangement of hanging out like they used to, with Tori making dinner as Trina lays on the couch waiting to be served.

 

"You're really gonna quit school?" Trina asks around a mouthful of pizza, prompting Tori to shrug as she flips through the channel guide. "Tori, as painful as this is for me to do – comfort you, that is – you seem to like school."

 

"Of course I do."

 

"And the last time you were this happy was when you were staying with Shannon."

 

Shannon. Her first agent, the one she lived with on and off in New York when her mother had started to become too homesick to stay in the city while Tori was filming. She never blamed her mother for being distant and in and out in her life while she was filming, but Tori can't help but feel like her bond with her first agent may have triggered this fondness she feels for strong, older women.

 

"I don't want to talk about her."

 

Trina, for the first time ever as far as Tori knows, actually seems to bite her tongue and consider her words for a moment. "Well, whatever. Even dad said it seemed like you didn't like working after she died."

 

"Killed herself," Tori corrects automatically, voice devoid of emotion. Trina sighs and rises from the couch to take her plate into the kitchen and Tori immediately feels bad for knocking one of the few times her sister has chosen to be decent to her. "I'm sorry. I can't do anything about the filming schedule or I would. But as much as I love school, I don't want to give up this part. I can try school again after or get my GED."

 

"Won't have a shortage of girlfriends back here in Hollywood at least."

 

Tori's face turns ashen and she pivots in her seat to stare at the other girl. "What?"

 

Trina returns the look with a roll of her eyes. "Please, you're gayer than Ellen wrapped up in flannel. Mom and dad don't seem to think so, but they weren't the ones who saw you go through that Ashlee Simpson phase. I'd have to actually be blind to not notice you looking at your roommate the same way you looked at her when she had that terrible reality show."

 

Her cheeks go from white to red in an instant and she looks down at her hands. "I was with Henry for–"

 

"Gay."

 

"This isn't a joke–"

 

"Gay," Trina repeats in a singsong voice as she turns to scour the refrigerator.

 

Tori huffs and stands, fully intending to storm up to her bedroom, but in a moment the weight on her shoulders leaves her. "I don't know what to do."

 

"About being gay?"

 

"No," she sighs as she crosses her arms over her chest, "about my life."

 

Trina returns to her spot on the couch, stretching out her legs as she picks up the remote. "That sucks."

 

* * *

 

She can spot a photographer watching them from a few yards away on the boardwalk, but neither she nor her companion take any notice. If anything, Henry is eating it up, sliding his arm around Tori's shoulders and no doubt inciting soon-to-be articles about their impending romantic reunion.

 

"You're teasing him."

 

"Well, he  _is_  following us with a giant camera."

 

Sometimes when she's with Henry, she actually wishes she really did like boys as much as she used to think she did, and that he were straight, as selfish as that was. Only partially for the sake of being "normal", while most of it has to do with the fact that Henry is easily the most good-looking guy she's ever met, on top of being someone she absolutely adores and has told everything to. Except for the devastation she felt when her first and only boyfriend of many years came out to her.

 

He pulls her to a stop about a mile away from her beachfront home; his gray eyes the same color as the overcast sky as they stare out at the rolling waves. Way too good-looking.

 

"You worked with Dominique Francon, right?" Tori asks as they sit, ridding herself of her deck shoes to dig her feet into the sand.

 

"Your teacher? Yeah, she was the EP on that mini-series I did. I didn't really get to work with her a ton, but I met her a few times." Henry leans back on his elbows and the end of his sweatshirt rides up enough to reveal the indents at his hips. Whether or not Tori has feelings for guys in no way seems to affect how much she can appreciate a well-sculpted body. "That was before that whole behind-the-scenes mess that happened with her on _Day's End_ though."

 

"Oh, my god. Her and Adriana Bloom? That's who she had the affair with?" Henry nods. "Jesus. Never would have thought."

 

"Adriana's father probably thought the same thing."

 

"She's got two kids now."

 

"Pretty sure the both of us know that the closet is a deep, scary place," he replies.

 

Tori looks down at her lap, shifting so she can wrap her arms around her legs. "Do you ever think about coming out?"

 

"I have this feeling that if the world knows, so will my parents. And that is not something I am ready to deal with. Those people are nuts." His gray eyes slant over to look at her. "You?"

 

"I feel like people wouldn't take it seriously even if I did. Society even have double standards about being gay, how messed up is that?"

 

"It's a shitty, shitty world, Vic." He was the only one who got away with calling her that, and that was just barely. "Doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

 

"You know how hypocritical you sound right now, right?"

 

Henry shrugs. "You're a stronger person than I am and you know it."

 

Tori scoffs at the remark and ignores the buzzing in her pocket, undoubtedly another message from André or Beck to ask about her absence the last two days.

 

"I tried to make out with one of my teachers because I'm a closeted TV star who drove away the one person I've actually connected in the past three years by being selfish and thinking I could just jump back and forth into my life." She squints to try to make out whether or not their friend the photographer now has a new pal trying to get the same shot. "And then I ran away to home before I had to face said teacher again because I was so embarrassed."

 

"Well, if it means anything, I seriously do not blame you at all for that. I mean, Dominique Francon?" He lets out a low whistle, staring out at the waves as they lapped at the shoreline.

 

"You're gay."

 

"I don't think anyone's  _that_  gay." She laughs loudly and he smiles that charming smile that had fooled her for so long. "I think you're going to be amazing in that movie, you know. And if anyone deserves a break in their personal life, it's you."

 

"Trina, of all the fucking people in the world, said that the last time she saw me as happy as I have been the past few months, was when Shannon was alive."

 

"Did you try to make out with her too?"

 

"She was thirty-five years older than me!"

 

"Well, as gorgeous as Francon is, she's got to be at least a little ways into her thirties."

 

"Thirty-seven."

 

"Shut your fucking mouth." Tori laughs but offers no reply, leaving him to let out another low whistle that's nearly drowned out by a squawking seagull. "Where do I get those genes?"

 

* * *

 

Henry, for whatever reason, gets along with Trina exceedingly well and Trina treats him as her gay boyfriend in turn. It's a brief respite from the severely annoying gloomy state she's been in for the last few weeks, to feel like she's just being a normal kid hanging out with her normal gay ex and her normal but potentially insane sister. Maybe it's less normal than she thinks, but it's nice to have a small sense of calm in her life again.

 

When the doorbell rings at ten on Thursday evening, they all turn their heads to stare at the door with the same confused expression until the bell tolls again and Henry finally stands and heads to answer it. Tori can't see who it is with him in her way but her throat tightens when she hears the voice.

 

"If it isn't Tori's gay boyfriend."

 

"You must be Jade. Well… I definitely get it now."

 

"Henry!" Tori says shrilly from her spot on the couch before jumping up to rush over to the door, wishing she for a moment that she hadn't felt comfortable enough around her gay ex and her sister to wear her ugly fat-day clothes. "What are you doing here?"

 

Jade looks at her for a moment through squinted eyes before responding. "I came to visit my dad in the hospital for the long weekend. Didn't want to stay on step-monster's couch and I guessed that you'd be here. Your disappearing act is pretty easy to figure out."

 

Tori stares at her without saying anything for a full minute before Henry nudges her shoulder and she manages to force out, "Sorry, come in. Totally. Yes."

 

"So smooth," Henry smiles as he offers to take Jade's bag from her. "Where should I put this?"

 

"Just throw it in my room."

 

Jade steps into the house and follows Henry's movements with her eyes as he ascends the staircase to the second floor. "He's even better looking in person."

 

"You should see him with his shirt off." Tori glances over her shoulder to ensure that Trina has lost all interest in their unexpected guest. "I'm… I'm really glad that you're here. I missed you."

 

"So much so that I went out for lunch on Sunday and came back to find your bed empty for the rest of the week."

 

"Sorry. I guess I'm starting to realize school really isn't the thing for me," she covers lamely, smiling at Henry as he jogs back down the stairs and passes them.

 

"Thought you realized that months ago."

 

"Months ago I thought I could do both."

 

Jade is actually a nice addition to their group as they stay up until the morning hours, Tori feeling both more at ease and at attention with Jade around. She keeps Trina on her feet and has Henry utterly charmed before long, leaving Tori feeling as if the trip would officially have been worth it as long as she and Jade remain on the same ground by the time it's through.

 

It's nearly dawn by the time they actually make it to bed, though Trina had bowed out far earlier than the rest of them. As soon as Tori and Jade stand, Henry stretches out across the couch, casually mentioning in his sleep induced state that Jade could take her parent's bed if she wanted because he wasn't likely to be going anywhere anytime soon. Tori's left holding her breath (because damn Henry for giving Jade the option of her own space when she is supposed to be relegated to spending time with Tori while she attempts to apologize for the last few months of her life), but Jade neither accepts or rejects the offer in front of him, only bids Henry goodnight and walks towards the stairs.

 

She has to come into Tori's room to get her bag either way, affording the Latina a modicum of time at the very least. She's unconsciously twisting her hands together as they quietly make their way to Tori's designated room. Only one of the beach front windows remains not covered with blinds, the not quite-yellow sky making its appearance over the waves as they enter. Jade yawns and pulls her dufflebag onto the bed, opening it while Tori stays at the door.

 

Jade seems to be able to read her even without looking at her though. "I'm sleeping in here."

 

"I can take my parent's bed."

 

"That seems traumatizing." It's presumably Jade's way of telling Tori to stay, and she doesn't wait to be proven wrong. They change in silence and all but collapse on the bed, Tori's brain desperate to say something before Jade drifts off, but her own heavy eyes and tired body leave her feeling reluctant to disturb the girl as she settles back against the pillow with a sigh.

 

It's Jade who breaks the silence between them, stretching contentedly against the crisp, white linen. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

 

"A meeting at two."

 

"With Dex Lawson?"

 

Tori shakes her head and allows herself to stare openly at Jade, whose eyes remain shut, rendering Tori's response pointless. "No," she vocalizes, "just with my agent. I see Dex on Sunday. Did you... want to do something? Because my meeting shouldn't take all that long."

 

"No." Tori's heart sinks the slightest bit. "I just... need a ride to the hospital."

 

"Of course, Jade. Which hospital is he at?"

 

"The one by the Staples Center."

 

"That's right by my agent's office, I can drop you off on the way. Did you want to stay the day?" Jade nods, red streaks starting to become distinguishable from her raven hair at the hazy light peaking through the window. "Okay. I can pick you up... when visiting hours are over, I guess."

 

There's quiet from the other side of the bed, Tori's gaze still on Jade watching her even breathing. The Latina shifts onto her back to match Jade, eyes falling shut with a quiet sigh.

 

"Thanks, ragdoll."

 

* * *

  

Rachel is actually not terrible at her job, when Tori thinks about it. Better than Shannon, in reality, more knowledgeable and connected. She's just... not the woman Tori idolized through her teen years. Of course, she also has yet to unexpectedly take her own life, so the brown-eyed girl supposes she should give her some credit. Even if she really does have trouble transferring calls on a phone she's had for four years.

 

"Why was the meeting cancelled?"

 

Rachel looks up from her computer, the email about Dex not being able to make it until 'further notice'. "He didn't say, but I assume it has something to do with that storm on the East coast. I think it's pushing their shooting schedule off track."

 

Tori sighs and deflates in her chair. Of course Dex was cancelling, he was the only reason she actually had to come home. "Did he say when he was going to make it down? Because I definitely can't miss many more days of school."

 

"I told him that if he wants to meet with you again that he could do it at the school." She had to give Rachel credit for that at the very least, she always stood up for Tori. And had been one of the few connected to her career who fully and ardently supported Tori going back to school, claiming that if two years off (not including summers) was going to kill her career, it was probably a sign. She was blunt, even when encouraging. "He said he'll try to make it up in March."

 

"I have my last basketball tournament–"

 

"First weekend, I know."

 

Tori's fingers drum against the arm of her chair as her head falls back. She had been hoping this was going to take more time after driving into the city extra early to give Jade as much time as she could have with her father, but now she was stuck here for at least five good hours.

 

"Do you think... do you think that if I came out that it would hurt my career?" she asks quietly. Outside of her Hollywood Arts bubble and Henry, it wasn't something she had ever brought up in LA, afraid the very mention of the words would have the listening walls informing TMZ within the hour.

 

"Yes." Tori closes her eyes and her fingers take to clutching the chair instead of tapping against it. "That doesn't mean you shouldn't, Tori. You're... you're very, very talented, and I know people have said that a lot, but I really want for you to start believing it. I would have given up my whole client list and devote my time to you if that's what you wanted." It does make her a little uncomfortable to hear someone say that so pointedly. It was easy to brush off fawning members of the media who doled out the same praise to the flavors of the week. It brings back memories of how Shannon used to sit her down at the end of a bad day on set and tell her to remind herself that she was meant to be there. "Do your parents know?"

 

"No. Maybe a little, but I haven't told them. Trina knows. She guessed right." She opens her eyes and stares up at the ceiling. "I just don't know if I'm thinking about it because I want to or because I think I should."

 

"I'm sure it's both."

 

She really, really,  _really_  hasn't given Rachel her due. Shannon had all but helped raise her during her long days on set and nights alone when her mother wasn't in town, but Rachel seems to understand her exceedingly well and Tori isn't sure why she hasn't noticed it before.

 

"It's not a rule that you have to jump out of the closet, Victoria."

 

"I know. I just feel like... I'm lying."

 

"You're absolutely not; it's on everyone else for making straight the default and assuming that's what you are." She glances down at her phone, typing a quick message. "Of course, the media might try to make you the poster child for lesbians in the business since Ellen doesn't really have that hot factor like you do, so be prepared for that, should the time come."

 

* * *

  

She spends the day half-heartedly shopping, annoyed to have been discovered early on by a relentless photographer who was intent on making it his mission to snap a picture of her every move. And she isn't even a super well-known celebrity, let alone an interesting one. As far as they knew, at least. But she's hopeful that the labels on her shopping bag will at least earn her something from the store for the free publicity. Growing more and more bored by the minute, she steps into a bookstore, looking for something to kill time for the rest of the day. She buys an autobiography of Janice Dickinson and settles in near the Starbucks, taking the rest of the day to enjoy herself until about an hour before visiting hours at the hospital ended.

 

Tori steps into the pristine hospital, a few curious glances sent her way by the people in the reception area as she inquires to Mr. West's room number, but she ignores them and rushes to the elevator when she sees a few people walking in her direction. The hospital is busy but the floor Jade's father is on is relatively unmolested from the hustle and bustle. She knocks and announces herself when she reaches her destination, wary of just entering the room, but after a moment Jade calls her in.

 

She's sitting stiffly in a chair by the window, not far from her father's bed. The man in question looks a little pale, with a yellowing bruise fading on his head and a cast on his left wrist are the only visible injuries she can spot, but she can see his hospital gown bulging a little around his abdomen, indicating some damage to his ribs. His eyes are the same swirling blue as his daughter's as they slide over to Tori.

 

"Friend of yours?" he asks as he looks back to his daughter, who shrugs noncommittally in response. Her father lets out a breath and closes his eyes. "Could be worse." Tori's eyebrows furrow a little, but Jade just stands after rolling her eyes and starts walking towards the door. "I'm glad you came."

 

Jade freezes midstep and seems at a loss for words, something Tori rarely, if ever, sees. A conflicted look crosses her face, but it falls when she turns back to look at him. "Me too."

 

The taller girl is quiet as they walk through the halls, voices echoing over the PA system filling the space between them until they step out into the chilled February air. Tori glances at Jade as she starts the engine and waits for the sound system to kick in.

 

"Your dad looks pretty good, all things considered." Jade nods curtly, looking straight ahead. "You don't take after him at all. Your brother definitely does, but you don't. You've got his eyes–"

 

"Can we just get back to your place? I need a shower. I smell like dying people."

 

"Yeah, Jade. Whatever you want."

 

When they arrive home, Jade heads straight for the bathroom, and Tori to her bed. Finding out her trip back home had been pointless with this cancelled meeting leaves her feeling even more exhausted at the prospect of returning to school and facing Miss Francon again. At least if she had news to mull over, she could keep her brain from totally obsessing over the absolute idiot she ended up proving herself to be when she threw herself at the blonde goddess of a teacher.

 

Tori sits back against the headboard, dressed in her warm-up clothes for basketball, hair pulled over one shoulder as she watches Jade emerge from the hallway, her own hair up and dry while her skin glows from the moisture of her shower. Her blue eyes avoid Tori's stubbornly but the Latina doesn't press her luck by demanding Jade's gaze, dropping her own to her lap.

 

"Are you coming back to school? On Monday, I mean." Jade's voice doesn't sound like her own, almost shy if that trait exists on the Jade West emotional spectrum. Maybe reserved was a better choice of words.

 

"Of course," Tori responds immediately, her head snapping up to openly look at the other girl once more.

 

Jade doesn't reply really, only nods minutely and lets her hair down, shaking it out as she looks herself over in a mirror, having dressed in a tank top and pajama pants when she finished her shower. She takes a breath before turning to face Tori with a look that borders on uncomfortable, but clearly restrained.

 

"I wanted to… apologize," the way she says the word makes it sounds as if it grates Jade's mouth to do so, "for freezing you out after–"

 

"Jade–"

 

"Just shut up so I can get this out, alright?" She wasn't going to wait for a response either way, but Tori still nods, wrapping her arms around her knees as she waits for Jade to continue. "If I had been given an offer like that – or probably any at all, I would have taken it. If it was in my contract to punch you in the face before I left, I would have done it without a second thought."

 

"You're very obliging."

 

The corner of Jade's mouth twitches in response and she looks away for a moment as if to compose herself, turning back to Tori straight-faced but slightly more relaxed. "It wasn't fair for me to get mad, not like that. Because I know… you would have been supportive and made things work long-distance if it was me, or whatever, if the tables were turned…" By the end of her sentence it seems as if it were a chore for Jade to continue speaking, her words petering out to a mumble.

 

"You don't have to apologize, Jade." Tori doesn't want to hear them anyway, there isn't any reaffirmation in hearing the words. She just wants Jade.

 

"Well, I felt like I had to make it known that there wasn't any… resentment."

 

Tori quirks her head to the side as the fact that Jade is clearly outside of her comfortability zone begins to sink in. It seems odd to notice at this moment, but she's not that used to seeing Jade  _trying_ like she is now. She's nervous about Tori's response, she looks pained as she speaks because she is, and Tori is more than endeared by the sight of the other girl fidgeting.

 

"What do you want, Jade?" she asks in the warmest voice she can manage, digging down deep to keep herself from asking more, about where this absolution came from. But they were at a ceasefire and Tori has already decided not to press her luck.

 

"Jesus Christ, do I have to spell it out?" Jade sighs irritably walking over to turn off the light before she makes her way to the other side of Tori's bed, busying herself with roughing up a pillow. "I'm not going to beg if that's what you want. You've got the money to pay people to do that."

 

"Shut up," Tori says, unable to keep from grinning as she reaches over to grab her wrist and pull her down onto the bed, shifting onto her side as Jade takes her spot, mirroring her position. "If it gives you any satisfaction at all, so far this movie is off to a terrible start in pre-production."

 

"It does."

 

Levity is appreciated and the comment makes Tori's smile grow, a chill of excitement running down her spine. But when she leans in, she does it slowly, giving Jade all the time in the world to rebuff her and tell her that she was misreading everything and doomed to the platonic file for the rest of her life. But Jade meets her halfway, lips sliding against Tori's in a way that implies both intimacy and refamiliarizing, sweet and experimental in a way Tori never imagined Jade could be.

 

She pulls Jade overtop of her because she misses the weight, misses feeling all of the soft curves that Jade hides behind a sharp tongue. Tori luxuriates in the feeling of running her hands under her slim tanktop and flattening her palms against the skin of Jade's back, as one of her legs comes up to lazily wrap around the other girl's hip. She's familiar and warm, and even with the scent of Tori's body wash on her skin, Jade smells like  _home_ , whatever that's supposed to be, because Tori's never really had the chance to have one.

 

Their kiss begins to slow down, their movements become more deliberate, and Tori slides her hands down to cover Jade's ass and pull her closer, checking off the bucket list of items she had created during their interim of things she missed doing, and this was definitely one of them. Jade's tongue prods, her hands wander, and her weight remains consistent and comforting until she pulls back for a moment to push at Tori's shirt and allow hers to be removed in turn. Tori grins and Jade rolls her eyes and everything seems more than normal as it has ever been in Tori's life.

 

Especially when Trina bursts in.

 

"Oh my god, get a room."

 

"We're in  _my_  room," Tori snaps back immediately, listening to the defeated sigh Jade gives against her shoulder.

 

"Well, I need a phone charger. Lives depend on it. Mine, most importantly."

 

* * *

   
She chooses a seat at the back of the classroom, but prides herself for showing her face at all. Miss Francon makes no special mention of her, she calls her name for role coolly and continues on with her lesson about distribution rights in various countries, while adding that Netflix should just buy them all and save the world some trouble. Tori sits in class patiently, gets the notes she had missed the previous week and makes her own neat ones on a fresh page. A model student if there ever was one. When the bell rings and signals that the lunch period has arrived, she remains seated as the other kids file out around her, her eyes on her binder as she worked up the courage to give the speech she had been rehearsing in her head since she woke up that morning.

 

"That disappearing act of yours is pretty thorough." She doesn't look up, but she can see heeled feet approach her, ending up on the chair in front of her as Miss Francon uses the tabletop as her seat. "Even took your sister. Wiping all traces of Vega from the campus? Impressive."

 

Tori smiles a little sadly, but remains staring at her notebook as she tries to find her voice, her fingers twisting together in her lap. "I'm so sorry," she barely manages, her words not above a whisper. "I'm so sorry, Miss Francon."

 

"I want you to know that I actually mean it when I say that you have nothing to apologize for, Tori. Generally an empty expression meant to make a situation less awkward, but I really am being sincere." Miss Francon bends her head until Tori is forced to look up and meet her icy blue eyes. "I really like you, Tori. I hope you know that."

 

"I like you too." She looks back down and finishes under her breath, "Obviously."

 

"I've done far more stupid things while drunk. Like hit on the much younger star of the movie I was producing, and almost costing me my career. Never made a move on a teacher though, so bravo."

 

"Well, go big or go home."

 

Miss Francon laughs and slides off her seat, motioning for Tori to stand and gather her things. When she's packed everything in her backpack, her teacher throws her arm around Tori's shoulders and leads her out of the building. There's something comforting about Miss Francon's presence in her life again, something that reminds her of her time with Shannon and leaves her feeling calm after the whirlwind couple of months she's had.

 

"You're coming to practice today?"

 

"Am I still allowed to come to the tournament?"

 

"Of course you are, Tori. The team loves you and you know it. We'll just have to split up your playing time a bit if your time off has left you soft." The sun is high on this last day of February, promising sweet spring breezes soon to follow and Tori finds herself relaxing a little into the embrace. Her father had always told her to enjoy the small moments. "Are you feeling better?"

 

"I think I've managed to salvage my personal life."

 

Miss Francon stops as they near the end of the quad, turning to face Tori and looking painfully beautiful in the afternoon light. "At the end of the day, Tori, all of that–" She waves towards the rest of the quad, where a small group of senior students stood setting up cameras. "That's just work. And a lot of people can feel more than fulfilled with being happy with what they've accomplished with their work, but it's clear that you're never going to be one of those people. And you can't live for the ones in your life who are going to want that for you. If their expectations for your career outweigh their want for your peace of mind, then they shouldn't be in your life."

 

"So you think I should throw away my career for a teenage romance?"

 

"Don't be a smartass," the blonde replies quickly, a smile on her lips. "You're not always going to be happy, Tori, but if the bad days are outweighing the good, it's not worth it."

 

Tori lets out a breath and glances back at the students doing sound checks on their boom mics. "I think… I think I can be happy now. I have a movie I'm looking forward to and… well, some semblance of a social life with people who call me out on my shit."

 

"Always a good thing. I hear the film's off to a bit of a rough start in pre-production."

 

"Oh, good, there are rumours already."

 

Miss Francon digs into her purse for her keys and laughs a little. "Nothing that bad, don't worry. I have a friend at the studio. I hear you have dinner with Mr. Lawson tonight. He must really want to make you happy to come all the way out here for a meeting."

 

* * *

 

Dex is shockingly soft-spoken and shy in person, something Tori didn't expect after one or two chats with him already. But apparently he was a huge fan of  _Trigger_ , and proved so by spending the first twenty minutes talking about how well she portrayed Jenny in the show and how wonderful the character development for her was, leading him to go on another ten minute diatribe about the shameful depiction of teenage girls in every medium and how they so rarely got their due. Tori barely manages to get a word in edgewise and their waiter just gives up on approaching the table, until Dex sits up straight for a moment and looks over Tori's shoulder.

 

"Dominique!" Tori's head whips around to and her jaw nearly drops when she sees Miss Francon grinning at the entrance of Wok Star, strutting over to their space and taking an empty seat at the small, square table they were at. "I haven't even had time to mention to Miss Vega that you might joining us to work on the film."

 

"What?" Tori asks increduously, ignoring the way their waiter sighs and turns back around after seeing his opening in the small break in conversation.

 

"Well, providing the change in schedule is going to work for enough people." She sits primly in her chair, golden hair falling over her shoulder. "Dex thinks the movie would be better set in the summer, and it'll make filming in Toronto a lot easier. And I sure would like to make it back for school next semester, wouldn't you, Tori?"

 

Apparently they had already gotten to a lot of the other cast members about the pushed production, were already in the process of recasting a few, and were on their way to getting the shooting permits, on Dominique Francon's word that it would actually suit the star of the film's schedule far better than the fall start date. Tori sat in somewhat of a daze for the rest of their meal, though she had managed to devour everything that was set on her plate before her. Miss Francon had offered to drive Tori back to campus, giving a small laugh when Tori's glazed over eyes don't change upon entering her car.

 

"You're happy, then?"

 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"You'll recall that  _you_  were the one who bolted out of my house in a drunken stupor the other week."

 

Tori lets out a breath and gives a disbelieving laugh that turns genuine near the end. "Did you do  _all_  of this?"

 

"The trick is to make them think it's their idea, Tori. Should you ever end up with a man who isn't clearly gay," Tori laughs again and sinks back into her seat, "that is my advice to you."

 

When they arrive at the campus, Tori reaches across her seat to give the most awkward and grateful hug in her existence, which is returned in kind. As soon as the car disappears into the fading sun, Tori bolts towards the doors, forgoing the elevator to jog up the stairs despite her already tired muscles from practice that afternoon. She fumbles to get her keycard into the lock on her door and nearly throws it open in her haste when it whirs and clicks, allowing her entrance. Jade looks up from her spot leaning back against her headboard, bewildered by the bombastic appearance, but before she can ask her question, Tori is climbing onto her bed and crawling overtop her body to kiss her.

 

Jade allows it, returns the unexpected kiss in kind, and remains quietly content with the assault until Tori's lips begin to wander down her neck, pressing meaningfully against Jade's skin.

 

"Good meeting?" Jade asks as she drops the book she was reading to her mattress and tries to catch Tori's gaze.

 

The Latina grins and kisses Jade once more, holding it for a long moment before she pulls back and settles herself across Jade's lap. "The filming – it's getting pushed. To the summer. I'll probably miss, like, three or four days at the beginning, and maybe a week in October if there are reshoots, but I'm gonna – I get to come back next year."

 

A smile breaks out on Jade's face, but she morphs it into a subdued smirk as her hands settle over Tori's hips. She clears her throat and lets out a sigh. "Guess I'm stuck with you then, huh?"

 

* * *

  

Being in her underwear doesn't bother her when she's on set – she's been in bikinis that were far more revealing after all – but when Tori spots Jade, she suddenly feels far more exposed than she is. The other girl is standing with Henry far behind the crew, and she sees Rachel, presumably the one who had led them there, walking away with her phone pressed to her ear. It's been three weeks since she's seen Jade, but it feels like a lifetime, and even at this distance Tori can spot the minute differences in the other girl: the shorter hair, the darker shade of her skin from the summer sun, the new eyebrow stud. She and Henry are talking quietly amongst themselves, but Jade remains staring straight forward at the set, her gaze hidden under her Jackie O shades.

 

The young starlet had invited Jade to set at the beginning of their shoots when they had first started, the interior shots done in the studio they were in now, in the heart of Los Angeles, only to have been diverted to on-location shots in Toronto for almost a month. Tori had been itching to return and finish their shoots on the set, all due to the girl standing across the room from her if she was being honest, but the idea of ending this project on time was a nice cherry on top. She hadn't known Jade was going to be coming with Henry when he mentioned dropping by the set that afternoon, and it instantly has Tori out of sorts, stumbling into her co-star, who stands equally as unclothed, and blushing furiously despite the fact that this was by far the least intimate thing they had been doing today.

 

She composes herself after a moment, just in time for Dex to come walking up to stand behind the monitors set up beyond the cameras. He tells them to take their marks and Tori climbs on the bed, her counterpart, Danny, taking his own just beyond the doorway to nowhere at the front of their set. The scene isn't long, thankfully, but Dex's insistence of single takes has left them in the same spot all day. This was their last one ("For good measure," Dex assured the crew at the collective sigh his announcement of one more take prompted) and even if she had already done it more than a dozen times today, Jade's presence has her feeling like she's performing for an audience of a thousand all of a sudden.

 

It ends up working for her though, she can tell before they even finish the scene that her nervous energy is more than good motivation when playing a strung out junkie, the tremors in her voice real when she looks off into the distance as her unfocused character, spaced out as she rambles on (not too much of stretch for Tori), and spots Jade's masked face off beyond the crowd. When Dex calls cut and claims their holding out was worth, everyone seems to take a relieved breath and a few tired crew members applaud. A production assistant walks up to her with a plush cotton bathrobe and Danny musses her hair as he always does before taking his leave of the set, dressed in matching attire.

 

Tori is sidetracked by Dex as she makes her way across the room, their conversation lasting long enough that eventually Jade and Henry meander out with the remainder of the crew, probably to escape into what remained of the sunshine. When Tori breaks free and follows their exit, they're nowhere to be found in the small crowd of coworkers talking amongst each other outside the stage door as they wrapped up whatever they were doing for the day.

 

"Looking for your friends?" She turns as she's addressed, already smiling at the familiar voice from one of the film's Executive Producers. Dominique ("I refuse to let you call me Miss Francon here, Tori, it's just downright unprofessional between colleagues.") is as sharply dressed as always, the orange sky casting her in a glowing light that made her seem as if her skin was colored glass. "I believe they were headed to your trailer."

 

"Still stalking people on set? I thought you were pretty much done after Toronto."

 

Dominique laughs and throws her arm around Tori's shoulders as she begins walking them towards her trailer. "Oh, just looking for another young starlet to seduce. Preferably one who is both single and not a student of mine."

 

Tori's ears burned as they always did when the mention of her relationship status was spoken, at least around set. "That's supposed to be a secret, you know."

 

"Gosh, I better pull that article announcing it from the Huffington Post."

 

"Ha ha," Tori replies lamely as they near the rows of trailers bunched together. There had been talks around set, a few weeks in, that this project was already the jumpstart to Dominique Francon's once more, but the blonde kept assuring Tori that she would be back at Hollywood Arts for at least one more year. "Jade thinks I should wait until next year. That we should."

 

"Seems reasonable."

 

"Sometimes I'd rather just get it out of the way."

 

"You could," Dominique agrees as they near Henry, who stands talking to a now fully dressed Danny outside of his trailer. "But it's not just your decision. And I'm not sure how Helen would feel about your rooming assignment if you did."

 

"Good point."

 

"I'm quite full of them," she assures the girl turning to take her leave but stopping herself. "You're doing really well, you know. I've been watching the dailies, this film could really get you some attention. Ready for that?"

 

"Not at all."

 

"Well, no one ever is, so it's good to know that you're not a liar. We should go for dinner next week. They said I could let you pick your classes early because you won't be able to make it up until a few days into the semester."

 

"I'd like that." She grins and walks off, and Tori remains watching her (and she is not the only one) until she's gone amongst the trailers, thankful that Jade had explicitly allowed her this concession when it came to her obvious attraction to their teacher. She had to promise that she wouldn't go for a kiss anymore unless Jade was in the room though.

 

"Vic!" She turns and smiles as she spots Henry, his gray eyes bright and warm as he approaches, looking tanned and gorgeous, his chestnut hair having grown over the past month into a shaggy mass that undoubtedly leaves every other girl with the similar urge to brush it away from his eyes. "You look awful. Well done."

 

"Thank you." She curtsies demurely and laughs, looking down at her pallid complexion and the way her bones seem to push against her skin. Tori had ardently avoided the sun since May and written off essentially anything with flavor since June to perfect a more desperate look. But since they were nearing the end of shooting and about to do the scenes where she was meant to look like a recovering junkie rather than an active one, she was planning on binging and tanning for the next five days she has off. She's more than sure of her ability to gain something close to ten pounds in a week with her perfected laziness. "You could have told me you were bringing Jade along."

 

"That would have put a bit of a dent in the surprise. She wanted to see you and if you know of a way to say no to Jade West, I'd like to hear it."

 

"Where is Miss West anyway?" Tori asks, glancing around to spot the girl.

 

"In your trailer. And if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go see if Danny wants to come over tonight. Not that I don't love hanging out with a disproportionate amount of women every day, but I'm craving some male company. Even if it's with a straight guy."

 

Tori grins as he sidesteps around her and takes a nervous breath before heading into her trailer. It seems stupid, to feel so anxious, but she had never imagined a month away from Jade would seem so long. When she opens the door she spots the other girl immediately, watching her look at the photos Tori had put up out of sheer boredom one day as she steps into the trailer. Jade turns when she hears the door click, her sunglasses now perched on the top of her head and giving Tori a good look at her deep blue eyes.

 

"Well, hey there, ragdoll," she breathes, leaning back against the counter behind her.

 

Tori smiles shyly and walks into the room a little more, reaching forward to wrap her arms around Jade's torso before she's standing in front of her. She lets out a relieved sigh at the contact and presses her forehead against Jade's, closing her eyes and humming for a moment. "It's not fair that you look like a model after a month away and I look like the before footage of an  _Intervention_  episode."

 

"You make it work. Junkie chic could be all the rage this time next year."

 

"God, I've missed you," Tori laughs before leaning in to kiss her, because why is she not kissing her yet? Jade manages to respond with equal fervor, pulling Tori closer and running a hand through her long, limp hair. She can't wait for the day when going into makeup at 4am won't end up with her looking worse when she's done. Tori drops her hands to Jade's waist and tugs her back towards the bed set up at the end of the trailer, not allowing her lips to leave Jade's for an instant. When they fall down onto the bed, Tori grins against the other girl's lips, the smile staying on her face as Jade moved onto her neck and tugged the belt around her housecoat.

 

"When we get back to school, I think we should stop… like, hiding or whatever." This catches Jade's attention, though it seems somewhat reluctantly.

 

"That's what you think, huh?"

 

"If you want to." A month apparently has been a long time because Tori doesn't have the patience to not pull Jade's face back down to hers to press lazy kisses to her lips in between every few words. "Just around school, or whatever. After last year, I actually don't think people are gonna be assholes and start posting everything I do online, and if they do… who cares?"

 

Jade raises an eyebrow in consideration, shifting onto her hip so her hand can continue to tug at the knot tied around Tori's waist. "I imagine quite a few people will."

 

"I won't." Tori pauses when she remembers Dominique's words, pressing her lips thoughtfully to Jade's cheek before continuing. "If you want to. It's up to you."

 

Jade takes a moment, having successfully undone the knot on the sash, and replies in an even tone, "I would like that very much." Tori laughs at the response, more than acquainted enough to know a sincere deadpan from a disingenuous one, sliding her hand through Jade's shortened hair as the girl presses a kiss to her clavicle. "God, you need to put on weight."

 

"I know, it's gross, don't remind me. I don't intend to believe in moderation in the upcoming days, so either prepare to say no to offers of food a lot or buy more sweatpants."

  

A loud bang comes on the aluminum door, leaving them both to sigh as Henry's words filter through. "If you  _are_  fucking, please wrap it up. If you haven't begun, please wrap yourselves up. I'm so goddamn hungry I could eat at that terrible raw food place Trina keeps pushing because it's the new place to be. But know that if you make me go to a place where a beet salad is the most appetizing thing on the menu, I will be a nightmare to everyone all night."

 

"Just stop talking so I can get dressed," Tori replies, grinning at the over-dramatic sigh she receives in return from her ex. Above her, Jade slides off the bed, Tori's wrists in her hands as she pulls the girl to follow, but neither of them immediately move. Jade leans in to kiss her once more, content and calm as her thumbs brush across Tori's arms.

 

However, without warning Jade turns, sliding her sunglasses back down to the bridge of her nose and spinning in one fluid movement. "Well hurry up, Tori, we don't have all damn night to lounge around in deluxe trailers."

 

Tori's only response is to laugh as the girl exits and hurriedly dress so she can be on her way to a restaurant already.


End file.
